parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

law students
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  • Thursday, November 30, 2006
    Okay, this made me laugh outloud:

    As Lev Tolstoy aptly observed in the immortal opening lines of Anna Karenina, "All happy families are the same, every unhappy family is unhappy after its own fashion." [FN1] The unhappy fashion of the Keating family pits father and daughter against son and vice versa in a lengthy internecine struggle for control of the administration of the family-run closely held food distribution business. The denouement of the son's involvement was marked by his departure from the family business and his initiation of a competing enterprise. At issue in this jury-waived litigation is ... whether father and/or son engaged in unfair or deceptive trade practices or committed intentional torts while trying to throttle one another in the competitive marketplace of food distribution to military commissaries.

    FN1. [Editor's Note: This footnote, which repeats the quotation in the original Russian language, has not been reproduced here due to the unavailability of the necessary font.]

    Keating v. Keating, 17 Mass.L.Rptr. 241 (2003).

    The footnote is definitely what gets me. The judge continues in this witty fashion throughout.
    posted by Zuska @ 4:43 PM   0 comments
    Work Update
    I have stuff to do. I'm not bored anymore. I have an interesting issue to research now that should fill today and tomorrow, at least. Hopefully the ice will continue to break with others in the office, and I can start juggling projects, b/c I like to juggle. I find happiness in juggling. Fulfillment, even.


    posted by Zuska @ 10:00 AM   2 comments
    Decisions, Decisions.
    I have been having trouble with my Yahoo mail for some time. It is not my only e-mail - but it's the one that I use for a lot of transactions, and it's the one I have on record for the girls' school stuff, and which I have for a lot of other incidentals. I want to get rid of it now, though.

    The question is .... where do I go? I have created another gmail account (using my real name), but I also have a ".mac" account, and I don't know which one I should use.

    Any experience on which is more reliable? I do not think I've experienced unreliability with gmail. However, a lot of my problems arise when I am e-mailing with people at their work accounts, and the Yahoo gets grabbed as Spam. I wonder if the same happens with gmail, but perhaps will not with .mac?

    Another disadvantage to having 2 gmail accounts is that I cannot be logged into both at the same time. That may, right there, be the decision-maker for me. But i would love to hear if anyone has had problems with either type of account.


    posted by Zuska @ 9:58 AM   1 comments
    Wednesday, November 29, 2006
    actually, i do have more to say
    first of all.
    I was pretty bothered yesterday when e. woke up from a bad dream - in my version of past events, this has happened less than 5 times since we have lived in this apartment, although beloved seems to think it's been more than once a month. i must strenuously disagree.

    the bother came from the subject of her dream: her father. it was a very scary dream wherein he either transformed into or was mistaken for some type of monster who was trying to kidnap the girls.

    the bother also came from the fact that a few weeks ago she had another very bad/scary dream, about her father, wherein he turned into a ghost -- a scary one.

    those who are close to me say that i should not be "bothered" in any way. but it still sits poorly with me. i've asked her if she has any reason to fear him, and the answer was no "except for that one time that he tickled me and left marks for 3 months." beloved has his theories, and my sis just thinks - it's just a dream.

    the second issue:

    i received a phone call from e.'s teacher today. she wanted to let me know that e. is having some trouble with a boy in her class, and that it's become slightly problematic. they are "arguing." so the teacher is going to sit down with them next week and try to mediate a solution.

    e. is not really so hard to get along with. she actually has a track record of being that friend of the friendless. BUT - if she is clashing with someone, it is very likely that she would over-react and raise her voice and not let go of the argument in the appropriate amount of time.

    problem being - the boy who she's struggling with is one who has a reputation of being difficult. one day recently, when i went to pick her up from after-school, this boy was being disciplined for purposefully throwing a basketball HARD into a girl's face. he was told to write a paragraph about what he did or why he shouldn't have - or something. he was given 30 minutes. i walked in as the 30 minutes ended, and the after-school person had to unwrinkle a ball of paper to find it blank. he then told the boy that he would have "consequences" the next day, and that his mother would be informed about his behavior. i was no longer in that room when i heard the SCREAM from this boy - just a giant wail of RAGE.

    so e.'s first reaction to news that i had been informed about this "issue" was pretty defensive. that it was all the boy's fault, and not her fault, and that the only way she could contribute to a solution is if she quits the after-school program, switches to another classroom, and never plays "Four Square" again. Four Square is her latest obsession, and i don't know crap about it. i tried to explain to her that she cannot go into a meeting full of accusations and denials of any responsibility.

    she took that to mean that she was "in trouble," and came home and went straight to her bed, where she laid down and quietly cried for at least 30 minutes. i went in to talk to her, and she told me the following:

    • this boy has called her a "bitch" (10 years old! hello!!)
    • this boy has hit her both with a sweater and with his hands
    • this boy calls her an idiot
    • this boy keeps "blowing in her face"
    • they used to be friends, but one day his friends started teasing her, and when she yelled at them to stop, he thought she was yelling at him, and now he is mean.
    • on the day he hit her, called her an idiot, and blew in her face, she told on him, and he got in pretty big trouble, including a phone call home

    fortunately, she was also willing to admit to:
    • yelling back at him when he yells at her
    • purposefully going into the area where he is to irritate him, after he was particularly mean one day
    • sometimes bumping into him "by accident" when playing Four Square
    • "tapping" his leg with her foot as she got into her seat (their desks are in the same grouping), to which he yelled "YOU KICKED ME" and then limped across the classroom

    Their "meeting" is next week. i'm trying to prepare her for effective problem-solving. she said she truly feels that he should get in trouble, b/c she feels that he is a problem, and she is not. but i'm trying to explain to her that her reaction can also be problematic, and potentially distract her teacher from any problems she's trying to explain as coming from HIM if she's doing it while yelling and losing her temper.

    If this boy is hitting her and swearing at her, though, I don't think that a "meeting" is enough. That is bullying behavior, and I would feel that it may be appropriate for me to be more assertive about the problem being solved in regards to him, not as a mediation session where e. is given advice to just "leave him alone."

    I'm pretty sure this is the first time i've gotten a call from the girls' teacher about a problem. maybe that means i'm lucky? or is 5th grade too soon for this to happen?

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    posted by Zuska @ 8:10 PM   1 comments
    zero improvement thus far
    while i did meet a few people who were either on the phone or out of the office during my introduction-tour on monday - they all explained to me WHY i would not be getting any work from them (either part-time, tax law, or going on vacation).

    i decided to do a writing competition. the "essay" is due by March 1. i figure this way, if i don't get any work to do, i can still have a fun project going which will require use of my brain.

    i am perplexed by the word "essay." it's not a "research paper," it's an "essay" - yet it is to be 5,000 words, which is 20 pages. what the FUCK is an "essay" for purposes of legal issues? i'm going to look at past winners, and see what they submitted to get an idea.

    since i spent most of my day fighting with crossword puzzles and e-mailing with my sister, i really have hardly anything else to say.

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    posted by Zuska @ 7:33 PM   0 comments

    i was not asleep before 1 a.m. last night, even though i felt the crush of exhaustion starting at 9:30 p.m. now i'm just beat.

    i'm mostly disappointed because i really wanted to be up and going running before work all week, and i haven't managed to drag my sorry ass out of bed ONCE. not once. maybe today's utter exhaustion is what i need to get me in bed early tonight, and then more able to wake early tomorrow.

    thing i'm grateful for at work today: my own office. and of course, an internet connection.

    e. and i decided not to do a book group we had signed up for. it's at our town library, and happens once a month. this month, it happens on the 30th - tomorrow - at 8 p.m. we started to read the book, and i must say, it's a bit dry. furthermore, tomorrow is our town's "first light night," and the girls little theater thing is doing performances all night long, and i don't think we'd be done until 7:30. i also think they'll be exhausted. i don't know if they're really going to do the December book group on the last Thursday of December - it's during school vacation and many people will be away for the holiday. although i don't think we will.

    i am pretty sure i'll have to work during the girls' school vacation. which will be interesting. i am pretty sure i will be trying to take off 2 extra days on Christmas week - the day right after (Tuesday), and the Friday (b/c beloved works).

    i am still in love with Google Docs. i can publish to my blog straight from the google docs webpage, so i don't even have to put blogger on my history of visited pages. not that it would be a major issue here - it's a temporary gig, and i'm super careful (i think).
    posted by Zuska @ 9:42 AM   0 comments
    Tuesday, November 28, 2006
    Day 2 is alright. i had a busy morning with a couple small assignments. my favorite kind of assignment. quick sleuthing into a legal question with a verbal report ASAP.

    i think i chose the right field. i just love getting these puzzles. i love trying to figure out answers, i love doing the research, and having books and computer screens open and piecing all of it together to come up with a definitive result. i don't mind writing, really, but it can get tedious, especially if i don't approach things right - if i spend too much time researching before putting words on a page, it feels like too much, and the writing becomes a chore, b/c the fun part is over.

    despite the fun, it only lasted for about 2.5 hours. then i spent much of my day populating wish lists full of clothing that i want. which is stupid:

    the office is not all-out business dress, it's definitely business casual, but people dress pretty darned nice, including assistants. i have enough professional clothing to "get by" - but my best stuff is summer (a la Summer Firm) weight. and i am not very interested in expending much financially toward getting by for this winter stint, since a) they aren't paying as much as Summer Firm, and b) i am hoping to go down at least 1 size during my time here. if not 2.

    i found out today that 3 of the partners here used to work at my Future Firm. i wonder if they'd ever be willing to talk to me about why they left ....

    today is my day to rush from work to the school to get j. e.'s cello practice was actually rescheduled to an earlier time, which freaked me out slightly. then i remembered that she is 10, and quite capable. a friend is bringing her to the library for the approximately 10 minute gap that we have b/t cello practice and my anticipated arrival time. all will be well.

    as long as i RUN to the T stop after work.

    he he he.

    posted by Zuska @ 4:34 PM   0 comments
    Monday, November 27, 2006
    my beloved beloved
    today, while bored between training sessions, i wrote to beloved and told him about my new job, and how i have a fridge and, really, a complete kitchen, with 2 fridges, a dishwasher, an ice maker, and anything else i could want (except a gas range). i then told him all the foods i would want to bring to work with me so that i could eat healthy.

    yesterday, while j. was getting her stuff together for today (monday), i had her write on the blackboard we use for reminders and such that she has a field trip on Tuesday, so i could remember to pack her a lunch.

    yeah, right.

    today, beloved came in the door approx 20 minutes after me, with both kids in tow, a bag on his back, and one in his hands. he proceeded to cheerfully usher the kids into their room with their backpacks and coats, and unpack from the bags every. single. item. i. mentioned!!!

    and lunch stuff for j.'s field trip! the field trip that didn't event dent my consciousness, with my whole "last first day" and such.

    he is just amazing.

    i told him that i wanted to worship him. he said, "nah, marry me instead."

    you know what? he's getting excited.
    posted by Zuska @ 9:04 PM   3 comments
    why, pray tell?
    when all i did all day was learn how to look up documents on a computer, am i so tired? i mean, i'm WIPED OUT. pooped. i don't even know if i can stay awake through Heroes.

    this week is not a calm one -- tomorrow is my first day trying to get from work to the girls' after school program before it closes at 6. i *hate* this. i hate the stress. i have more than enough time. i was home today at 5:40, and i think if i went to their school, i would have been there at 5:30 - but i can't just know that, and be okay.

    i have to start, at approximately 3 p.m., worrying that someone will come in with a RUSH assignment. that the trains will have a problem and i'll have to take a bus. that i can't walk fast enough to get from work to the T station in my usual amount of time (which causes me to practically RUN to the station).

    i am a freak like that.

    and i have to get there early enough to get j., and then be home in time for e. to get dropped off after her cello lesson, at 6:04.

    and we have to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas Special tomorrow at 8 p.m.

    and then Weds., we have to do NOTHING.

    but THURSDAY - it's insane.

    i can't even explain how insane right now.

    i'm too tired, and Heroes is about to start.

    Friday .... j. has play practice for her play that is the next day.

    she is Charlie Brown!!! We can't wait. But my parents and her father and step-mother are coming into town on Saturday, and will be here for most of Sunday as well, so ....

    it won't be stress-free child-viewing pleasure, oh no. not at ALL.

    and monday's my birthday. and tuesday's beloved's birthday.

    and wednesday is the day i have to get my booby smooshed.

    but it doesn't hurt anymore .... so i'm thinking of cancelling the appointment.

    I hope, tomorrow, at my job? that i get to talk to at least ONE lawyer.

    in the meantime, i started to write a story on Google Docs. I believe i am a huge fan of this idea - a web based word processor. many itmes in the past, i've wanted to write a story while bored at work, but don't want it to be found or accessible. having it on the web, on a private account to which only i (and beloved) know the password feels a lot better to me.

    So if the laywers do keep leaving me alone, i'll be cool.

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    posted by Zuska @ 8:54 PM   1 comments
    well, here it is, the first day.

    thus far, i've had little to no contact with attorneys - only those responsible for training me on the computer, phones, fax machines, scanners, library, security, etc.

    there are quite a few perks here, which is nice. free coffee, tea, water, soda, juice and (oddly) some strangely chosen foodstuffs. i am also excited that i have my own temperature control. that's so rare in an office-setting. i can keep my office icey on days that i wear too many layers and steamy on those that surprise me with cold and damp.

    i have zero sense of the work or the people, though. which i expect from 1st days.

    i ran into a classmate on the train. during my first year, i thought this particular classmate was surely a "gunner" and had an unfavorable opinion of him. he seemed so uptight. and coming from me, that's pretty uptight.

    last year i barely ever saw him.

    this year we had a class together and started chatting here and there. he was much less of a gunner (which i do think he was in the 1st year, my opinion of his first year persona has not changed), if he held on to even an iota of it. now, i find him not so bad. it was a very welcome distraction to have the newly-non-gunner to chat with on the train. we were both heading off to our first days of work, making that transition from school to work -- not quite there, yet. we talked about this past quarter, and the classes we're interested in for the spring, and a little about work. i think that as one school-quarter is ending, we end up thinking a lot about what classes we'll take next school-quarter, b/c we're in school. it's the language we're speaking. no one gets into the swing of co-op until at least the third week, and that's when you sort of forget that you're a student and that you used to get up and throw on jeans and a t-shirt and zero jewelry and that you have to pick classes off the list soon.

    today, though, classes are still on the brain. and i kind of still wish i was sitting in one.
    posted by Zuska @ 5:50 PM   0 comments
    Sunday, November 26, 2006
    1 hour and 34 minutes
    that's how long i spent on the phone this morning with an old friend of mine from California. it was nice to talk to her. i miss her, and her kids. we talked some about trying to plan a joint family vacation - but it won't be possible this year (which is almost over), or next year, b/c i have to take the stupid bar exam. so it will be the next year. if ever. her eldest and my eldest always had a special bond, and even when we've gone over a year without seeing each other, they're able to pick it up again within 10 minutes.

    one thing that was nice about talking to her is that she is one of the very few people who understand my feelings on marriage.

    i get a little irked when i talk to people in my family about the fact that beloved and i have chosen to go through with an official marriage ceremony.

    beloved and i have not been 'shacking up' for the past 2+ years. we have been a family. we made a decision that marriage was not necessary for us to be truly committed to each other, and that it could even be damaging to the relationship we have. we also decided that "marriage" as an institution has become something we do not entirely support. the religiosity of it - the prejudice that is part-and-parcel of the concept these days (perhaps forever, but these days, it's spoken and voted on and codified).

    now that we are looking at the realities of the structure of this society we are in, and thinking it will benefit us, people are acting as if it means we are NOW getting together. like, we weren't a couple before. like this is a HUGE CHANGE.

    it is not a change in us. it is not something that needs flowers and dresses and champagne. it's just a fact.

    but my friend A. gets it - probably b/c she's in california, and that's where beloved and i acquired our attitude toward marriage, b/c our attitude toward marriage fit in so much better when we were on that coast .... if we had stayed there, i bet we wouldn't have made this decision at all.

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    posted by Zuska @ 3:28 PM   0 comments
    why there were only 14 items
    last night, at my parents' house, my brother and his wife decided that my children, my parents, and i were worthy enough to be graced with 2 entire hours of their time. that in and of itself was amazing, and i am not sure it has EVER happened before. he lives literally around the corner from my parents, and rarely ever has time to see them .... unless he needs money or some other favor. several times my family has come from the Boston area, and he has been "too busy" to come by and say hello. or he'll come in the house to ask my father something, and then leave without saying a word to me or mine.

    but last night, he was there.

    the girls were coming from the place that their father is living this year, but they had gotten stuck in traffic. so us adults (brother, mother, father, sister-in-law and myself -- beloved had stayed in boston this time) had dinner while we waited for the phone call that i was to go meet the schlurg.

    my brother started discussing a cousin of ours, who just left her husband for the 2nd time, and hopefully for good (yes, those of us who share blood make bad choices for first husbands, what can i say???). my brother started going on and on about how we needed to call her and to go see her, b/c she is our *family* and it's so important to support our *family.* he truly would not quit. my mother was kind of poo-pooing him, and my father was oddly silent (oddly b/c it seemed as though my brother's tirade was actually focused at my father, sort of reprimanding him for not calling my cousin already, and telling him all the reasons why he should).

    the phone then rang, and it was time to make the 5 minute drive to go meet my ex and get my kids.

    my dad came with me.

    this is also odd - my dad has many many many feelings of dislike - even hatred - for my ex. why would he choose to come and be in close proximity? i am in zero danger from my ex - we didn't have that kind of marriage. so why is he coming?

    we got in the car:

    Me: man, i love the way my brother is so concerned about supporting family now. where the hell was he with all his phone calls and "support" when i left my ex? or when [sis] left hers?

    Dad: nowhere, that's where he was. and he's not interested in family now, all he wants is a reason to get in a fight.

    Me: i think he likes the romantic notion of being a chivalrous cousin.

    Dad: he doesn't give a shit about family when it's about speaking to your mother like she's a human being, or about spending some time with your parents who live around the corner from him. i'm telling you - he wants to get in a fight.

    apparently - my cousin's husband is believed to have been abusive. no one really knows, though. apparently, also, my brother has already said that he and my father should show up at the husband's door and "beat the shit out of him." my father, apparently, thinks my brother is pretty much an ass, and would rather find a way to crawl under a rock and claim that, despite the fact that they have the same name, my brother is not his son.

    then i got my kids. we came back. the girls were sitting next to me, eating their dinner. my brother was sitting across from me.

    brother: so where is [ex] working right now?

    me: [place closer than he used to be]

    brother: so is he teaching there?

    me: no, he has a research fellowship.

    brother: [snort, laugh, guffaw] a research fellowship? what the fuck is that? it sounds gay. how gay is that? jeez, that's gay.

    me: [brother], do not say that - this is inappropriate.

    brother: no it's not inappropriate - that's gay. what a gay job. he is so fucking gay.

    me: you need to shut up [also making faces and hand motions toward the girls - at which he laughed].

    brother: well, it is gay, and you know it.


    my KIDS!!! i *never ever ever ever ever* talk negatively about their father.

    i also *never ever ever ever ever* talk negatively about homosexuality - b/c here, to my brother gay=stupid. it has nothing to do with homosexuality. apparently, it's just this random insult which he feels is appropriate.

    my kids don't know it that way though. they were confused as to why their uncle thinks their father is gay, since they know he is a man who is married to a woman shortly after dating another woman, shortly after being married to another woman, who is their mother.

    i needed to go back over the issue with the girls later:

    "remember all the times i've talked about how obnoxious your uncle is? well, this is an example of that, and has nothing to do with your father. your father has a very good job, and it's something to be proud of. also, when your uncle says "gay" - he does not mean "gay" - he means "stupid." It is wrong of your uncle to use that word in that way, it is not stupid to be gay, and using one word for the other is disrespectful and hateful toward those who are gay."

    j. was very sad and had tears in her eyes, and e. shrugged and said, "yeah, i know" and left.

    my brother is having a baby!!! how can this be? how can his wife DO this?

    oh, and the final irritating thing, him and his wife sitting at the table (before the kids got there), blatantly making fun of me for being a lawyer, and talking about me in the third person in condescending and fucking obnoxious ways. his wife is not the mean bully that my brother is, but she's made out of nothing but surface-stuff, and she has little of substance to add to any conversation.

    my brother went from talking about my cousin (or something else) to looking at me and saying, "that's a nice sweater. you look like a lawyer" (with a weird baby-talk tone). his wife says, "oh, i know, doesn't she look so good? i love her haircut, and that is such a nice sweater she's wearing" (she was sitting 2 feet from me). my brother went on and on about how even though i haven't graduated law school, i'm still a "lawyer" to him.


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    posted by Zuska @ 2:51 PM   4 comments
    the last first day
    tomorrow i start my final co-op.

    i am not excited about it, as i think i've made abundantly clear.

    i wonder how i feel, in general, about this co-op system?

    a few weeks ago, i attended a meeting for older students with the admissions committee. they wanted to know what older students are looking for, and what they can provide to make my school a more welcoming place for older students.

    one thing that came up was that the co-op system may not work so well for older students. unless said older students spent the intervening years hiding under a rock, and not gaining work experience. i suppose staying home with children is not the same as "hiding under a rock" - but i find it hard to believe that even a stay-at-home mom doesn't have more of an understanding of the workings of a professional atmosphere more than someone who went from highschool to college to law school. especially since most mothers these-a-days have a professional life before embarking on the journey of child-rearing.

    there is of course still some redeeming value - the goal of the co-op system is not to give students an exposure to the professional world so that they are little less naive upon securing a permanent job. it's to train law students experientially. this does not always happen, though. it is of course true that every student i've spoken with says that their writing and research skills improve every time they go on co-op. but that could also happen if the school started a law review, or had more writing opportunities during school.

    it also helps student hone what they want to do. i came to school thinking i wanted to do family law, somehow concentrated on custody issues, and the "best interests of the child" questions that arise in those determinations. i therefore did my first co-op with a family law judge, and found quickly that it was going to take a lot to get to the point, in the family law field, where i could craft my practice with such precision, and that i had to first go through the rite of passage of property divisions, uncontested divorces and discovery - with the same hours as a big-firm lawyer with approximately 1/3 the pay check.

    no thanks.

    my personality also does not work so well with the idea of a 3 month stint at anything. it takes me time to adjust, to fit in, to understand the lay of a land. by the time i get to that point on co-op, everyone around me is pulling back, b/c they know it's just about time for me to leave.

    now that i have a job lined up for after-school, this final co-op feels purely superfluous. i do not feel at all excited about learning a new computer system, a new filing system, a new support staff, a new office culture - for NOTHING.

    if i were a different person - a non-mom, for example. a non-child-care-paying individual, i could have used this co-op to do something "fun." for me, "fun" would have meant something public-interest oriented. perhaps back into that child welfare field that still interests and excites me (and which i hope to still enter, once college is paid for and a house bought). but i do have financial responsibilities, and i could not choose to take an unpaid position with these factors being considered.

    so off i go, tomorrow. the last time that i will start a co-op. i will put on a suit for my "first day" and cross my fingers that it won't be necessary for every day thereafter. i am sure that the assignments i get will be interesting, b/c i'm easily interested by legal questions. but i won't want to stay until 8 p.m. to finish up, and i won't be clamouring to get in the door as soon as it's unlocked by the building staff, like i may be doing next year at this time for Future Firm.

    i wish, truly, that i could be taking another quarter of classes instead. but 4 co-ops are required in order to graduate, so instead, off i go.



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    posted by Zuska @ 2:26 PM   2 comments
    Friday, November 24, 2006
    national sleep-in day
    did anyone see that e-bay commercial yesterday? where someone throws their alarm clock across the room, b/c you don't have to get up early to shop at e-bay?

    i hate e-bay.

    but i like the idea of national sleep-in-day - obviously.

    i rolled out of bed at 10:30. beloved had to work today, so he was gone some time ago. there is something very delicious about being able to stay in bed while someone else gets up, showers, dresses, and leaves. and yet, i sleep. mmmmm.

    i have things to do today - of course. i want to go and find a new outfit for co-op on monday. i want to go to target to buy some hand-weights. i want to go for a run. i need to clean up the house.

    i had thought i'd get up at around 9, and go for a run first thing, but that didn't happen, b/c i slept through 9. so now, since i'm feeling anxious about being sure i get out the door, i will shop first, then come home and either first run, then clean up, or first clean up, then run. we shall see.

    i just checked my yahoo mail, and it said i had 8 new messages. after i read 7 of them, i still said i had one, but i couldn't find it. i scrolled all the way down to august, and still no new message. so i made myself a cup of tea. then i came back to the computer, and scrolled through all these old e-mails - my summer associate stuff, then spring e-mails that were clearly freaking out about Federal Courts, then all these e-mails from last winter's co-op at the ACLU - hundreds and hundreds of them, b/c unlike Summer Firm, they didn't give me an in-house account, and i had all kinds of client and inter-office emails coming to my yahoo account, thousands of emails b/t beloved and i about solstice gift projects --- but still no new email.

    finally i went straight to the bottom - and the last email on my list, dated 1/21/02, was the "new email" - fortunately, it was junk mail.

    yahoo sucks. i'm thinking of switching my main account to my .mac account, which right now has 5 emails in it. that's how much i've used it since setting it up. but yahoo has a lot of delays, and quirks, and i think it's a little bad lately (as in the past few months).

    decisions, decisions.

    i'll ponder it while i shower so i can go shopping.
    posted by Zuska @ 11:19 AM   0 comments
    Thursday, November 23, 2006
    what our day looks like
    as i have said, this is my ex's year to have the girls for thanksgiving. he is a little closer this year, so we drove them to a meeting point yesterday. i believe they've only spent one other thanksgiving with him in the past, b/c he couldn't get time off, or whatever. in 2004, however, they did spend it with him, but since he was further, and they needed to fly, they took the whole week off from school. at least e. is getting a little too old now to take time off casually, which is why we did the exchange yesterday.

    since beloved and i have been together, we take our holiday without the girls for an "us" day. we have tried different versions in the past - we've done jammies all day watching movies in bed eating take out and partaking in questionably illegal relaxation methods, we have gone out to eat, we have cooked, but non-traditionally, and we have shared the day with my sis, back in CA when she lived with us, and watched movies and cooked way too much food. that time was kidn of fun - we each cooked 3 appetizers, and that was our dinner. i believe it was christmas, and sis's son was with his dad, and my kids were with their dad, and so we were just 3 mellow adults.

    this year, though, i said i wanted us to cook. i wanted to still have the holiday together (as in, alone), b/c it's not something we get too often. we are spending christmas at my parents' house, and even though we were in their neighborhood yesterday and could have easily stayed for thanksgiving dinner, we really wanted our time for us. but i didn't want take out in bed, b/c that was, quite frankly, a wee depressing for me. even though i try to buck tradition sometimes, i am an oldest child from new england - i'm a bit of a traditionalist. there's no escaping it. blood and all that.

    so we're cooking! beloved is brining the turkey, and as soon as i get off my lazy ass and stop posting, i am peeling potatoes (white and sweet) to get going on my 2 mashed potato recipes - one cheesy and one glazed in brown sugar. sweet potato brulee, they call it. i already made the cranberry sauce, and he's going to do the gravy and stuffing and the veggie. i was going to make dessert, but uh, i bought ice cream instead.

    we were thinking of eating at 2, b/c i love mid-day meals on holidays, but since we didn't wake up until 10, that was changed. i find that another fun thing about our laid back holiday (i.e., no company coming, nowhere that we have to be) - we can be flexible like this.

    we woke at 10, lay on the couch watching the wet Macy's Parade, and then we suited up to go out into hte practically-freezing rain and go for some pre-feast exercise (although last night's dinner with my parents made it so that it was also post-feast). i did my usual route, but was slow thanks to the weather.

    we are now planning on eating by 6.

    we were still goign to do our movie marathon. we rented 2 from the video store, and were expecting 2 from netflix. but netflix did not deliver, and we are slightly (or more) disappointed.

    beloved was in charge of a classic and a foreign, and i was in charge of a "big dumb" and a creepy. i chose Wicker Man (the original, not the recent one), and Mission Impossible III (i refused to go to the theater to see Tom Cruise when this came out, but I can't wait to watch Philip Seymour Hoffman - i LOVE LOVE LOVE him - as the bad guy). MI III is the one we have, Wicker Man did not arrive (jerk). Beloved chose Diabolique as the foreign (which seems like it will be creepy, too, so that's good), and Sunset Boulevard for the classic, but that one also didn't arrive (jerk).

    we are on hte fence about whether or not we can watch a movie while the bird cooks. it's a little bird (10 pounds), and while beloved keeps saying it will be in hte oven for 3 hours, i think it may surprise us and be done in 2, and i'll need to do my taters.

    we'll see.

    hope everyone's having yummy foods and good fun.

    [google docs intrigues me, so i'm trying to create this post on google docs, and then i will publish it to my blog. this would be useful for me in settings where i do not want people to know i have a blog. such as, school, or eventually, work.]

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    posted by Zuska @ 2:16 PM   0 comments
    Happy Thanksgiving!
    Butterflyfish says that all good bloggers must post a list of what they're thankful for. i have to say, i usually buck these kinds of trends. today, however, i will do it, b/c i want to be a good blogger.

    1. j., my younger daughter:

    for all of her
    goofy faces,
    love of being active,
    and so much more ....

    2. e., my older daughter:

    for all of her:
    amazing vocabulary,
    sense of humor,
    willingness to try new things,
    and so much more....

    3. my beloved, for all of his love, patience, helpfulness, creativity, memory, and his loving of e. and j. and how much of himself he gives to all of us,

    4. for my parents - even though i complain about them, they are very supportive, and have shown such unconditional love to me and mine,

    5. for my sister (and her boy!), b/c even though sometimes i get mad at her, i think she's the best-est,

    6. my own health and that of my family,

    7. the opportunity to go to law school,

    8. the ability to do well in law school,

    9. that i have a job lined up for after law school,

    10. that our move across the country has been so fruitful and that we are all so happy here in New England, with the seasons and the history,

    11. for our town, and all it offers to kids and families, and the networks that exist and have welcomed us as children and parents,

    12. for our home - the first home we've all shared, and despite the fact that we could use an extra bedroom, it's homey, and it's us, and it shows how well we've come together as a family;

    13. for the elections this year, even though i'll believe that it will bring "great change" when i see it,

    14. for my kitty cats.

    i reserve the right to update this as the day goes on and i think of things i forgot.
    posted by Zuska @ 12:34 PM   0 comments
    the kids are safe and sound, elsewhere
    beloved and i had dinner with my parents last night. it was 100% the best meal we've had with them EVER, i think. my father was not offensive, my mother was not annoying. she only used ONE cliche. she was talking about my hair, and said, "yeah, it's short for a minute, but it grows so fast, just wait a minute, and it will be long again. just like the weather in new england, if you don't like it, just wait a minute."

    i have complained many a time that EVERY REGION in this country (except, perhaps, the southwest desert regions) uses that cliche. "you know what they say in Alabama, if you don't like the weather, just wait a minute." "you know what they said in Virginia, if you don't like weather, just wait a minute." "well, you know we have a saying here in Florida, if you don't like the weather, just wait a minute."

    but otherwise, we had good conversations and a good time. the food truly was fantastic, too.

    schlurg and i were both late, though. 2+ hours late. yes, we had *that* much traffic. beloved and i arrived at our meeting spot at 5:45 (the meeting time was 4), and the schlurg was about 20 minutes away. he then got off the exit, but had forgotten my directions at home, and didn't know his way around the city streets. he was angry at me for "not helping." but i don't live in that town, that state --- i don't know my way around the city streets.

    jesus, hasn't he ever heard of mapquest? hasn't he ever thoguht about taking care of his own damned self?

    but it was truly fine, and not an issue.

    the girls were, as usual, very good in the car. they both listened to their ipods for a while - but j. got sick of it, and started to play around, and made my fingers dance to the music on the radio, but e. listened to a book on tape on her pod, and fell asleep to it, for a couple of hours. considering that the drive was twice as long as it should have been - they were great.

    as i had said, my mom did not understand my desire for later dinner reservations. since we were meeting the ex at 4, she thought we should have 5:00 reservations. guess what? when my dad and i drove by the restaurant on the way to meet hte schlurg at the location which he was lost, we dropped beloved and mom off at the restaurant to get the table - it was 6:29. dad and i got there at 6:40.

    our dinner was at a relatively posh italian restaurant. man, my parents have changed since i was little. this restuarant was Summer Associate quality. and my parents ordered 4 courses. which is one more than Summer Associate stuff. we had 2 appetizers for the table, then a soup/salad course. we shared a lot of stuff, which was very cool, and since i was still incredibly full, a very good idea.

    very yummy.

    the traffic on the way back was lighter than light, and we had a quick drive, and got home at .... uh .... 11:30.

    next post: today's menu and my list of thankfuls.

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    posted by Zuska @ 10:16 AM   1 comments
    Wednesday, November 22, 2006
    a minor, inane observation
    on grey's anatomy ....

    "McSteamy," to me, is McCreepy. he is not attractive. he looks like a robot or something. he's icky. and if, a couple weeks ago, at the bar, meredith walked away from derek and hooked up with that creep instead, i think i would have quit the show.

    b/c he's gross.

    also, i did finally watch last week's episode, and i really liked it. i'm a sucker for family stories. and since it dealt with q's about balancing high-powered careers with having children, it definitely held my interest.

    unless McCreepy was on hte screen. then i just wanted to PUKE.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:59 AM   1 comments
    another busy day
    up early today to get the kids to their class breakfasts. they were happy with the muffins. e. was especially proud that for once in her life, her mother got off her lazy ass and actually cooked something.

    which really isn't fair, b/c for other family breakfasts, my being a lazy ass meant that i was the last one to sign up, which meant that coffee fell to me, which meant that i had to leave the house at 7:00 instead of 7:20 so i could swing by Dunkin Donuts to get a box of coffee.

    so really, the laziness forced me to be decidedly NOT lazy. and it sucked. and i hate dunkin donuts coffee, but since i don't have a coffee URN in my ridiculously tiny cramped outgrown apartment, i have no choice. well, i could go to starbucks, but it costs more, and i'm not sure it would be appreciated.

    then beloved and i bickered not once, but TWICE. once b/c he found an instrument on the side of the road that he liked. i don't know what it was. it was a percussion instrument. but with the bars? that you hit with a padded stick? you know? not a glockenschpiel, but something similar, but it was big. he would have to DO stuff to it to make it work, but he wanted to, b/c he said j. wants one, and it would be a perfect solstice gift. and i was irked. b/c it was BIG. it stands on 4 legs, it's like 3 feet tall and 3 feet long. it takes up SPACE. space that i feel we do not have.

    he said i was mean, and i jumped on him unnecessarily. i thought i was sort of joking, and he thought i was being a shrew. (his words).

    THEN. he had errands to run this a.m. he has to get the turkey, and he's brining it, so he has to find something to put it in to soak in salt water. i got us a zipcar MONTHS ago for this weekend. i feel certain that i told him that the zipcar started at 10. he feels certain that i did not, b/c he arranged to pick up the turkey b/t 8 and 10 a.m. so we bickered again.

    the holidays are here! can't you tell?

    but i apologized, and he did, too, and all is well in Zuska's house. not that it really wasn't. we just bickered.

    b/c it's the day before thanksgiving, and we're human. that's what humans do. they bicker on the day before (and day of?) thanksgiving.

    and now i'm packing the kids.

    BUT!!! oh my god.

    beloved found the sound clip of Kramer (Michael Richards) and his tirade last week.

    OH MY GOD.

    I saw a headline that said, "the next mel gibson?" the other day, and i didn't click on the link. i figured it was part of the stand up routine.

    boy, was i wrong. this was so horrid. so horrid. and then his apology? on letterman? i can't find the link that beloved had on his computer, where richards said that is going to get to the bottom of all the hate and rage that "is in all of us."

    what the hell? Dude, YOU are the one who blew up on stage and said awful racist things. YOU. Not "all of us." not everyone's default, when they're pushed, is to call people names based on the color of their skin. he behaved so abhorrently - but what's worse is that when pushed, this man showed what he thinks all the time. that didn't come from nowhere. it didn't just happen b/c of "rage" at being heckled. something that had been controlled and kept in his private thoughts has just become public --- it didn't just spontaneously generate.

    it was horrible.

    i have to finish packing the girls' suitcase.

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    posted by Zuska @ 10:39 AM   0 comments
    Tuesday, November 21, 2006
    roast, muffins
    i am sooooo very warm right now. and a little beat.

    the roast came out great. my only negative thought about it was that all the veggies (and fruit) were orange, and i don't understand a recipe that is so monochrome. but i like sweet potatoes, and i like butternut squash, and i like apricots. so i was okay. the meat was tender and yummy.

    j. and i made muffins for tomorrow, and she was so cute and so good. she was very studious in watching and learning what she needed to do. she was meticulous about closing and covering her ingredients and putting them away. she's good.

    the muffins ... eh.

    the cook time was too much for our oven, so the first batch was a little over-done. i just tested the second batch, and a muffin cup didn't want to come off the muffin. fuuu-uuuuuck.

    i was only going to do 2 batches. but they didn't come out so BIG - and it just seemed like it wasn't going to be enough for 2 classes.

    so i made a second double batch.

    the first 1/2 of that is in the oven right now.

    and i'm sweating.

    between the oven and the dishwasher, and the fucking BOILER that we live on top of, my apartment is at least 7 million degrees right now. it is 33 outside, and i was seriously contemplating going for a walk.

    but i can't - b/c the muffins are cooking.

    TOMORROW is also huge. we have the damned breakfast(s) in the morning, then beloved has to go get the turkey, i MUST go for a run, and i want to go to the town hall with my application for a new passport. we pick up the kids at noon, come home, throw some food at their stomachs, and get on the road to bring them to their father.

    we will hopefully drive for like 2.5 hours, but b/c of the holiday, i'm not too optimistic.

    then beloved and i are meeting my parents for dinner. we meet the ex at 4, but don't have reservations until 6:30, b/c i insisted. my mom was all, "oh, really? 4? then we sohuld make reservations for 5:00!"

    i told her she's old. and that i'm not. and that i am NOT eating dinner at 5.

    do you even NEED reservations for 5? can't you just walk in and each sit at your own table? i mean, geez.

    i also really don't think we're going to make the drive in 2.5 hours. i think it could easily take 3.5. if not 4.

    then beloved and i will drive back, and we will pass out in our bed, and then wake on thursday to cook a turkey and some taters.

    i was the one who insisted we cook. i am thinking that i should right now firmly place my shoe upon my ASS for such an idea.

    i don't want to COOK. i want to SLEEP.

    no, really, i want to cook. the last thanksgiving that we didn't have the kids, we go Thai take out and watched movies in our jammies all day, and honestly, i found it slightly depressing. so hopefully this way, we'll have a 2 person party.

    i'm tired.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:06 PM   0 comments
    today, i was successful at dragging my lazy ass outside in 33 degree weather to go for a run. i always think that cold weather makes it harder to run, and often use it as an excuse. however, the last three days and a close examination of my past shows me that it is not true. cold weather is GOOD for me to run in. i like to run in cold weather. i lost my pregnancy weight running in cold weather, back in 1999/2000. i actually have a harder time in HOT weather.

    i was then successful at getting my MA driver's license. i almost hit a snag, b/c my social security card still shows the married name on it (but the maiden name is there, too, as a middle name, and this maiden name does not exist outside my very small family - there's no question that i'm the same person). i had my divorce judgment (which couples as proof of legal name change in CA, where the divorce happened), but they wouldn't even look at that. too bad, they said. but then a supervisor came over, looked at the window-meany-head-girl like she was stoooopid (she wasn't - she was just mean and bitter and hates her job and all the people who are forced to speak to her b/c it is her job) and told her that since my current (maiden) name comes up when she puts my social security number into the "system" - she needed to leave me alone and give me my damned license.


    i was then successful at getting the paperwork completed for my upper level writing requirement for school. it was something i wrote last fall, and the form required my signature, my professor's signature - and that's it. why i waited a year, i have no idea. but it's done now. i'm that much closer to graduating.

    i was NOT successful at getting to the social security office, b/c it was a good bit out of the way, and since i went for a run at 8:15 instead of 6:00, i was tighter on time than i planned.

    i was successful at getting my hairs cut. i won't call it "unsuccessful" to say that i did not color my hair. i really don't want to be "coloring my hair" - i wanted one little burst of auburn hair for the sake of the season. i don't want roots. i don't want to feel like i have to KEEP coloring my hair. my hair-person told me that considering all of that - i shouldn't color my hair. that reds fade fast, and not always to a pleasant color.

    she also said that my natural color is so beautiful and highlighted (naturally) and interesting, that i'd be a FOOL to cover it up.

    she loves me.

    who could blame her?

    i don't agree with her, but still, i appreciated her advice, and took it.

    the hair is short. probably 4 or 5 inches came off. i love it. it's good.

    i then went to my town hall, and e. was sitting on the floor in the lobby. what the hell? why was she there? there were lots of kids there from her after-school program. i knew she was starting this (optional) program on recycling, where they're volunteering to help out with the town's recycling program during her after-school time, but i thought it was at the library.

    i have never been to my town hall before.

    e. has never been to our town hall before.

    and yet, today, when i decide to go for the first time, she's there?

    it was soooooo weird. i felt like i was following her. but i was NOT.

    she saw my hair, and it was cute.

    when they were little, i used to wonder if changes in my hair would make it so they didn't recognize me. i thought about that again today. i wondered if when i go to pick up j., and her eyes hit the door way b/c a mom has entered, and she doesn't see the long hair, or the pony tail, will her eyes just go back to her book/game/friend? or will she know it's me anyway?

    well, when e. saw me, her eyes were on my eyes, and of COURSE she knew it was me. then came the shock, as her view of me widened. it was so cute. i just flipped my hair and walked away.

    b/c she was learning about recycling.

    i went there for the purpose of getting a passport with my proper name. b/c of the name change, and my passport being 5 years old, i basically have to apply for a new passport. i had everything with me that i needed except pictures. so i then went and had pictures taken.

    i was going to go right back, but i didn't have my checkbook ($67), and i don't know how to spell my mother's maiden name.

    it's a very hard maiden name. it's czechoslavakian. the question i always have is whether it's ending is -shick, -chick, or schick, or -shik, -chik, or schik. i have no idea. she gets mad every time i have to ask, too. angry. she will be angry with me tonight, b/c i plan on bringing this puppy in tomorrow a.m.

    then i came home and decided to confront a personal issue that has been making me very unhappy for a week or so, and it was hard, and emotionally draining, and it's not even over with.

    i am also in the process of making a roast. i think it's gonna be yummy.

    but now i have to go get j.

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    posted by Zuska @ 4:59 PM   1 comments
    Monday, November 20, 2006
    my first day off
    today was mostly spent on the field trip.

    i know that i recently was begging for colder weather,

    but .... uh ....

    i could have appreciated it more if it came, oh, say, tomorrow?

    we went to this wolf sanctuary in far-off town in our state. we all sat outside, on this wooden deck, under an awning. the sun was not out. we just came off this stretch of 60 degree weather, and while almost everyone had on their warmest winter coat, and almost everyone had gloves .... we didn't have all the fixins, and we needed them. i wished i brought my beautiful wool indian scarf that beloved bought me last year. i was so cold. all the kids were so cold.

    but we all survived. and the kids all got to fake-howl, and they made the wolves howl, and it was cool.

    the bus driver we had was a bit of a trip. he got lost. several times. we crossed the charles river SIX TIMES today - 5 of them on the way there. we should have crossed ONCE. hello? how can you get paid to drive people around the state, and not know your way out of the city in which you LIVE? i mean, come ON. i guess considering the taxi drivers that i have been subject to, i should not be surprised. but i was. b/c my kid was in the very back seat, and i was in the third seat from the front, and this guy's ignorance made it entirely possible that we would be separated .... permanently.

    we did return safely to the school, and the kids went back to school, and i went home "to go for a run" and instead, i fell asleep on the couch.

    but then i went for a fun walk into town to buy a bunch of bottles of wine and such for the holiday.

    and then i picked up the kids.

    really, i had so little responsibility today - it felt great. i was a rider on the bus. the kids were the focus, and i was just there to keep people from getting hurt and/or lost.

    tomorrow (day off #2 -- let's see how much i accomplish)

    1) go for a run
    2) go get my driver's license
    3) go to social security office to change my name (i.e., erase married name)
    4) go to school to submit my writing requirement
    5) go to town hall in my town to apply for new passport b/c of stupid old married name and me wanting to get married in Canada in approx 2 months;
    6) go get my hair CHOPPED OFF
    7) go home and cook a roast
    8) pick up kids
    9) finish the damned roast
    10) eat with the fam
    11) make muffins with the kidlets
    12) sleep? maybe? hopefully?

    This is a day OFF??

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    posted by Zuska @ 8:13 PM   1 comments
    Sunday, November 19, 2006
    Do you want to laugh outloud?
    he he he. this page will make you laugh out loud. because nothing is funnier than a bad, bad kitty cat.

    warning, however, not all of this is safe to view with children who can read looking over your shoulder.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:25 PM   0 comments
    bloglines? what the hell?
    according to bloglines - NONE of my blogs updated today. NONE. Not even the Daily Kos, which typically posts something new every 14.3 seconds.

    a few times i've gotten this little plumber dude when i click on bloglines that says "the pipes are all backed up, give me a minute" or something to that effect, but not every time. and there are no posts! not even MINE, and i know i posted. more than once.

    it's irritating me.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:23 PM   3 comments
    ducks in a row
    i just scoured the house for all the pieces i need for my first errand on Tuesday --- getting my MA driver's license.

    this is just evidence that i am the Queen Procrastinator. i moved to MA over 2 years ago, and still have not gotten my license, despite the fact that, at times, it has caused me a little bit of inconvenience.

    so why now? b/c my driver's license expires on my birthday this year. which is in, ohhhh, 2.1 weeks, or something like that. and i start work next monday, so i have to do it this week.

    things get complicated for me, though, when i have to do this kind of thing. b/c i am the Queen Procrastinator, i have not updated all my crap from the name-change associated with my divorce. why couldn't i have been this kind of procrastinator back when i got married? and never changed things over then? i have no idea.

    but my passport and social security card still sport my ex-married name. which means i need to bring my birth certificate, and i need to bring my divorce judgment, and i need to bring all this other CRAP just to prove who i am. it wouldn't be this hard if i were organized and timely.

    but i'm not.

    and of course, none of these things are in places where i can find them. i thought i put my birth certificate in my filing cabinet, but there are no labels on the files, so how am i supposed to know where it is? i searched the whole damned thing, and didn't find it. so i looked through my box of "things to be filed" (in the files with no labels) and it still wasn't there. so i looked through my 'everything drawer' and my 'everything shelf' (i.e., junk drawer; crap pile), still nothing.

    then i went to find my current lease, for purposes of proving residency, and right there in the front-most file, i find my birth certificate.


    but now i have everything. everything i could possibly need.

    and on tuesday morning, i will grab my things, get on the train, go to downtown boston, and get me a new driver's license. finally.

    i should probably check into where the social security office is, too, and go in there with my divorce papers, so i can get a new card, and then shortly get a new passport ....

    i think i need one to go to Canada now, don't i? and i want to get married in canada on 2/2.

    no more procrastinating!

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    posted by Zuska @ 10:03 PM   0 comments
    Post-Exam Weekend
    i ended up downloading Grey's Anatomy, but have not watched it yet. i fell asleep on the couch on Friday afternoon as it downloaded, and have been spending time with the kids since then.

    it's been a nice, restful weekend thus far. we went to a pizza party with e.'s soccer team on friday evening, and while e. hung out with other 11 and 12 year olds, j. played with one of their little sisters, and i sat and chatted with moms (one of which i have a history of large amounts of dislike toward, but am trying to get over it, b/c i am no longer the one who is on the verge of middle school). i thought we'd be there for an hour, and instead we were there for two. it was nice, though.

    yesterday i brought the girls for haircuts, and they look adorable, then j. had a "playdate" and e. and i drove into downtown (scary!!) to get her the next size cello. it's not only shoes and pants that she is outgrowing.

    and then the day was over. whoosh!!

    we spent the evening watching Road to Morocco with the kids, and then Gosford Park without. i liked Gosford Park (not that i didn't like the other - but i'd seen it before).

    today we have NOTHING planned. NOTHING. we've talked about perhaps going for a walk, and j. likes the idea, but e. does not. we're all still in jammies right now, and i really am not too anxious to change that. i have made my shopping list for a roast i'm making for Tuesday, some muffins i'm making for the girls' "family breakfasts" on wednesday, and for thanksgiving - for which i'm making: mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce.

    i think this week's food bill is going to be around $500. jeez.

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    posted by Zuska @ 11:42 AM   0 comments
    Friday, November 17, 2006
    oh!! woo hoo!!
    I just realized that I did not watch Grey's Anatomy last night, due to kids not being ready for bed (I never watch t.v. while they're awake), and me having the paper to write. it was a good thing i didn't, too, b/c i really immersed in the paper. before it happened, i was thinking i'd have to work all day today, and that it would be really stressful and i'd be rushing to drop the damned thing off by 4:30.

    so now all i have left is about an hour or so of citation work, and i'm just not doing it. i'm reading blogs and blogging about boobs.

    but now that i remembered about Grey's Anatomy -- i have incentive!! i am goign to download it from iTunes right now, and hurry up with my cites, and then go home and watch it on my beautiful computer screen!! and since i left my iPod (and my headphones) home - there isn't even the option of watching it now.

    so i will finish!!

    **Update - paper's done, and i like it. unfortunately, grey's anatomy from last night is not yet available on iTunes. does anyone know when they are available for download? last week's is there, but last night's is not. damn.

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    posted by Zuska @ 10:06 AM   4 comments
    booby update
    i had my second appointment re: the spot on my boob today. i have no new information, except that they've ruled out the possibility that it was just cyclical (i.e., related to my period). the "expert" who felt around today found the spot pretty quickly, returned to it 4 times, and then said, with her brows furrowed, "is this the spot?" she said it does not feel "clinically troublesom" which i'm taking to mean "it does not feel like a tumor" - but she has no clue WHAT it is, so on the second Wednesday of my new job, and 2 days after my 34th birthday (the day after beloved's 45th birthday). I get to explain to them that i must take a long lunch for medical purposes, so i can go and get a mamogram and an ultrasound on my left boob.

    can someone who has had mamograms please give me some reassurance that this won't hurt as much as i think it's going to? i was so happy last week when my primary care doctor said JUST an ultrasound. but the expert says i need both. i'm trying not to think about it. but i'll think about it for purposes of reading reassurances. reassurances ONLY, please.

    in other news, my paper is pretty much done. i'm cozy-ing up to my blue book right now, and when it's done, i print the damned thing and walk it downstairs. then i go party or something. b/c i'm done.

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    posted by Zuska @ 9:49 AM   2 comments
    Thursday, November 16, 2006
    Finally, success
    i cooked tonight. moroccan salmon. it came really really good. i served it over couscous, and the girls didn't like that so much, but they ate all their salmon, and their tomatoes, and their red peppers. i thought it was great, and didn't realize that i like couscous.

    beloved wasn't home, b/c he works late on Thursdays, so he didn't get to enjoy it with us. i don't know if he'll have some when he gets home or not. which sucks, b/c i hate to keep leftover fish, and there's a good bit left over. damn.

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    posted by Zuska @ 8:26 PM   0 comments
    beloved saves the day!
    i worked on my paper until i realized that i was famished. and since i foolishly left my wallet at home, i could do nothing about it. i called beloved to let him know i was on my way, and lamented over the fact that i wanted to call and offer to bring him home a Shwarma, but b/c of my fucking wallet, i could not.

    so what did my dearest say?

    "oh, i will meet you there, and we can both get Shwarmas!" and so we did.

    they were yummy, and it hit the spot (i got it with extra garlic sauce, mmmm), and we got to spend a surprise 30 minutes together over lunch in the middle of a thursday.


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    posted by Zuska @ 3:53 PM   1 comments
    today kinda sucks
    i am working on my paper - truly. i just wrote an entire page about how when a country is imposing change from above, it cannot discount the culture and traditions that are in place, and if it does .... bad things will happen.

    see? i am writing.

    i'm also whining.

    FIRST of all, it's absolutely pouring outside. it was not supposed to do this until after 8 p.m. I saw it on the weather this a.m. i saw the sattelite. there were no green blobs over this part of the state until much later.

    therefore, i wore a plain old non-waterproof coat, and i left my umbrella hanging on the coat closet door knob.

    AND i decided to get off the train some ways from my school, and to walk the rest of the way, rather than transfering trains. since the train's underground, i didn't know it was raining.

    i got wet.

    i thought well, that's fine. i'll just get a cup of coffee, and that will make me cozy and warm, and i will resent this water coming from the sky just a wee bit less.


    my wallet was nowhere to be found in my beautiful yet cavernous bag. nowhere.

    it was home.

    with the umbrella, and the waterproof coat.

    so i'm trying to get the parts of this paper that require library time done, and then i will go back home. home sweet home. where there is food. and money. and all those things that you need in order to live.

    as soon as it stops raining.

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    posted by Zuska @ 11:34 AM   0 comments
    Wednesday, November 15, 2006
    Another Meme
    Apparently - I'm not allowed more than one word. this means no paragraph upon paragraph of explanation. I did cheat with hyphens. this is, therefore, an experiment in whether or not a one-word limit placed upon Zuska causes her to explode*:

    Yourself: procrastinating
    Your partner: smug
    Your hair: pony-tail
    Your Mother: cliches
    Your Father: endearing
    Your Favorite Item: macbook
    Your dream last night: boat
    Your Favorite Drink: tea
    Your Dream Car: prius
    Your Dream Home: huge
    The Room You Are In: living-room
    Your Ex: self-inflated
    Your fear: tsunamis
    Where you Want to be in Ten Years? healthy
    Who you hung out with last night: myself
    What You're Not: hypochondriac
    Muffins: coffeecake
    One of Your Wish List Items: house
    Time: limiting
    The Last Thing You Did: dishes
    What You Are Wearing: jammies
    Your favorite weather: snowing
    Your Favorite Book: blindness
    Last thing you ate: meat
    Your Life: fine
    Your mood: bitchy
    Your Best Friends: grew-up
    What are you thinking about right now: dogs
    Your car: sold
    What are you doing at the moment: typing
    Your summer: bar-exam
    Relationship status: planning
    What is on your TV: blackness
    What is the weather like: too-hot
    When is the last time you laughed: kids

    Found this at APL's house.

    * this is also a nice diversion which I'm hoping will keep me from posting a catty little blurb aimed directly at this person, who seems slightly obsessed with this blog.


    posted by Zuska @ 10:42 PM   1 comments
    midweek blahs ... but it's EXAM week!!!
    i slept horribly last night. absolutely HORRIBLY. i didn't even go into the bedroom until 1 a.m., which is late for me. i've been going to sleep around 11 or 11:30 this fall (which is early, but it is coupled with me trying to wake at 5 or 5:30 for a run evey day, and it's become my routine), so 1 a.m. was late. beloved was especially tired last night, and he went in earlier than usual. i think i couldn't get tired b/c i was experiencing a low-grade euphoria over the completion of Tax. i was also enjoying emailing with a couple friends - far and near - and catching up with a lot of blog reading that the exams and papers and arguments and briefs have gotten in the way of.

    when i did go to bed, i couldn't sleep. i had that odd phenomenon where it feels like you never sleep - not really - yet the clock shows that 3 hours have gone by. i looked at the clock at 2:41 a.m., and thought 'so, i must have slept, b/c i certainly wasn't tossing and turning for 3 hours??'

    finally i slept soundly. i was cuddly and warm, and dreaming of scary scenarios in which beloved held me tight, and i felt okay, and it was reassuring, and good. and then the alarm went off. and i felt like crap.

    i got the kids off to school and went back to bed. i was just too tired. but then, b/c beloved doesn't work on wednesdays, he decided HE would go back to bed.

    i'm going to try and be loving and respectful here:

    beloved snores. a lot. it has actually been a source of contention b/t us, b/c he gets quite upset if i wake him b/c of his snoring. yet at the same time, it does wake me up ocassionally. more than it actually WAKES me up, it keeps me awake if i am awake for some other reason - like last night, where i went to bed 1.5 hours (or so) after him. i usually cap myself at 1: 1 opportunity to ask him to roll over (when he sleeps on his right side, he's mostly silent).

    i did struggle with this during my many awake-periods during the night. his snoring.

    and so i felt i deserved a nap.

    but then ... him taking a nap? not gonna work. b/c if he's taking a nap, then he's SLEEPING!! if he's sleeping, then aren't we back to square one?

    he promised me he wouldn't snore. now if he really had control over that, once asleep, then i'm really very pissed off, b/c it means all these nights over the past 2.5 years, he's CHOSEN to snore in my ear and keep me awake.

    of course, within literally 4 minutes, he was snoring. i told him to FUCK OFF and stormed out of the room.

    no, seriously, i did. perhaps i said FUCK YOU! rather than the "off" variant. either way, i said FUCK, and i left the room and tried to sleep on the couch. but i was pissed, so i couldn't. so i decided to pick up my stupid paper on stupid afghanistan.

    but then i remembered that since it was 8:20 a.m., the kids weren't home, and they both have beds, and they have a door that closes, and so i went in there, and i slept. until 10:41. then i got up and stared at my computer for a little while.

    at approximately 11:50, i opened up my draft. at approximately 12:33, I took out my marked up hard-copy version of my draft. at approximately 2:10, I took a shower. at approximately 3:05, I put down my cooking light magazine and started actually working on my paper. at approximately 5:25, the kids came home (beloved picked them up), and at approximately 6:14, I put my paper away until tomorrow.

    not good. or is it? is it really "not good"? I don't think so.

    the paper's actually in better shape than I thought it was. I probably have like 6 or 7 more pages to write - but the research is done. I am not sure I need more than tomorrow.

    It's due on Friday at close of business (4:30). I was hoping to meet a friend for lunch that day, but she had a work meeting come up, so I have nothing else to do on Friday. So if I don't meet my goal and finish tomorrow - who cares?

    i think all will be well. i think i have more than enough time.

    as long as i use tomorrow wisely.

    so i must get up early, go for a run, get the kids of to school, get myself off to school, work all day, see how far I get before 3 --- if i'm done, that is the cut off to start with the blue book nonsense. if i'm not done, i can work for 2 more hours before i go pick up the kids, go home, and ....

    COOK! I'm trying again. beloved has to work until 8 or so, and we didn't really have dinners that yielded leftovers this week (especially since I threw last night's away), so I have to cook. I'm making Moroccan Salmon over couscous. I'm sure it will be so delightful that I will be posting photos. (har har har)

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    posted by Zuska @ 8:20 PM   1 comments
    in college, i had a very close friend, JS. my parents used to be concerned that we were too close. as in, lesbian lovers. we were not. but we had a practically symbiotic friendship, and worked hard to maintain it until the day i got married to the ex. she moved to CT after i graduated (despite the fact that she had a year or so left of college in VA) and took a job as a nanny for about a year nearby to my parents' home. we stayed in touch somewhat after i got married (1994) and had kids (1996), and she visited me at least once in CA, but my marriage definitely was the major changing point for us. i don't blame her for not moving to Alabama to maintain the pre-marriage level of our friendship. i highly doubt that the ex would have appreciated it ... although, he may have appreciated my being around less. he wasn't too fond of me. he liked his professor better.

    JS got married in August of 2001, and i was in her wedding. at the time, the ex and i were still living together, but alternating nights on the couch, and we were already pretty much separated. i did not tell JS about this at her wedding .... duh. but i was a mess. an utter and total mess. this was around the time that i toyed with just walking away from everything on my own - sans kids. she, however, was completely unaware, and that's good.

    not too long after (perhaps 3 or 4 months) i called her and told her about my separation from the ex.

    see up there where i said we were in college together? remember what college that was? so JS was most definitely of that persuasion. to say she disapproved of the ending of my marriage is putting it very lightly. she was also very upset about my shedding of the faith. that was a little strange, b/c when we were in college, she was the rebellious pastor's kid - we were far from the spiritual enthusiasts. but she returned to the fold in her mid-20's and her husband's family and her family were both pillars in their local church.

    needless to say, things have been very distant between us for the last 5 years. but i recently received an e-mail from her, and we've been talking back and forth for a couple of weeks. religious issues have not come up at all, but she did apologize for her reaction to my situation 5 years ago. she and her husband are dealing with some fertility issues right now, and also contemplating a big move and career change(s), so there's a lot going on with her. as with me 5 years ago, a lot she had never planned on having to deal with.

    it's been nice to reconnect. i hope we maintain it.

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    posted by Zuska @ 3:38 PM   0 comments
    perhaps i should feel guilty, but i don't.
    the girls' school always calls the wednesday in the week before thanksgiving "dress up day," and they serve turkey and other thanksgiving-type foods in the cafeteria. the first year we lived here, j. was still straddling her girly-girl phase, and had approx. 167 dressy-dresses to choose from, and e. had enough. last year, they wore their flower girl dresses from my brother's wedding (which really weren't THAT dressy). this year, j. is 100% out of her girly-girl stage, and both girls prefer to wear warm-up pants, yoga pants, and ocassionally jeans with simple long sleeve t-shirts. they don't really have any dress up clothes anymore.

    but j. went searching last night for the "right" outfit. after we rejected a few way-too-summery choices, she ended up wearing some flowy capri pants with a really nice fall sweater. e. wore some black velvety yoga pants, and wanted to wear her hippy-poet shirt with them. however, j. wore that shirt to the ballet on friday, and i hadn't done their laundry over the weekend (HELLO!! Exams!!).

    i half-jokingly told e. to go get her laundry bin, take it downstairs, and start 2 loads in the washers. she didn't bat an eye - she just did it. the hamper was at first too full, but she took some of the laundry out, making sure that her shirt was not removed, and went downstairs.

    she came back to report that it took a little longer b/c she forgot to sort the clothes first, and was just about to put detergent in when she remembered. so she had to empty and re-fill the washers. i told her it was important to sort the clothes right now, b/c they have a few new tops, and i'd hate for them to be ruined b/c of their colors not being set.

    ten really is too young to be doing her own laundry, right? beloved and i both distinctly remember being closer to 12 when we were assigned the task of doing our own clothes. but she didn't mind. she liked it, and felt that it would be a very fair trade off for some of the other chores she is routinely assigned and detests. she is willing to trade - she will do their laundry (not mine or beloved's, of course, and she wouldn't have to do her sister's, if they didn't share a hamper and sometimes clothes) if i no longer make her bring down the recycling.

    bringing down the recycling is most definitely the easiest job in the house. we keep the paper in a bag, and bottles in a box, and you walk down ONE flight of stairs (or take an elevator) to the room where it's all kept, dump the stuff in the bins, and you're DONE.

    she's willing to trade that for laundry? the child is insane.

    but i am seriously considering making this change.

    oh, and they both looked very pretty this morning.

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    posted by Zuska @ 1:18 PM   1 comments
    Tuesday, November 14, 2006
    It's a Post-Exam Posting Flurry!!!
    It's too hot. Today I wore a plain old knit top with another plain old knit top layered on top of it, and I was seriously glistening all day. i had to strip down to a single knit top during the exam, and yet, i was hot. everyone was hot. it was unfortunate, b/c we were taking our exams in a computer lab in the library, and right outside teh computer lab door were some 1Ls laughing and joking very loudly about some take-home assignment they have (in the class that I taught last fall, which somehow made it even MORE annoying - that old assignment? come on, we've been doing that for *years* - it is not a big deal -- shut up!! Don't you know that we are trying to think about important things? like depreciation and capitalization and above-the-line deductions? This code book is THICK! Your stupid take home is not! You have no code to cite to. You have no RULES to consider - it's an ESSAY for crying out loud - STOP LAUGHING!!!)

    We therefore, in our infinite 3L maturity and law school wisdom, were forced to shut the computer lab door, increasing the temperature by no less than 140 degrees, farenheit.

    regardless of our school's inability to regulate temperatures - it's too warm right now. it is November 15, and while outside, I had to carry my very lightweight jacket. This is very difficult for me, b/c said lightweight jacket, which is very nice and of a very high quality, just so happens to have Future Firm's name embroidered in what is typically an extremely discreet location (on the back of the hood, which usually is folded over onto my back). I find it obnoxious to walk around with Future Firm's name screaming out at my classmates who either 1) think that working for any firm, let alone large-Future Firm, is equal to enslaving 4 year olds in a coal mine; 2) have a job lined up, and find it really insufferable that others who have jobs feel the need to flaunt that fact while they are content to let the grapevine publicize their news; or 3) are very nervous, distraught and stressed over the fact that they do not yet have employment at all and do not need the fact that someone has a Future Firm rubbed into their noses. It's so easy to hide the embroidered advertisement that typically, wearing the jacket is not a problem. but once the jacket is carried over the arm, and the hood flops down, due to gravity, i get a little bit more nervous that I am offending those whom I respect and admire.

    Not last week, but the week before (when 24 Robbins came knocking on my door), it was in the 40s during the day. It was glorious. I had to wear gloves on the bike. Every now and then, I found it necessary to hold the gloves up to my face, and breath through their delightfully cozy fabric, b/c my nose was cold. I loved that weather. I felt invigorated. There was a spring in my step, and a joy in my heart.

    Now, it's 62. And rainy/foggy/muggy/icky. I feel like I am leaving melting patches of my flesh on the sidewalk as I walk. I can't enjoy a warm cup of tea without making it feel as if my guts were screaming for fresh air and trying to claw their way outside of my skin.

    It's horrendous.

    i want my 40s back. I want my sweaters back. I want my gloves. My frozen nose. My dorky ear warmers that i have to wear on the bike and on mornings runs (which it's been too rainy for) b/c my ears get so very sensitive in the cold that I love.

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    posted by Zuska @ 9:22 PM   0 comments
    twice-failed experiment
    i didn't post on this last week, b/c i was feeling so defeated. as i posted some time ago, beloved's return to the work force made it so that every now and then, i have to cook. I knew that it was a good thing for me, and for the family in general, and i went on and on about how much i don't LIKE to cook, how I'm not GOOD at cooking, and so forth.

    My first few endeavors, however, turned out quite well. But then, starting last week ... not so much.

    I don't think I'm just making excuses to blame my failures on circumstances. The stew recipe that I made was the result of much perusing of recipes and magazines. The latkes (even though they weren't the best I've made) came from years of experience and trial and error.

    Then, the end of my quarter neared. It was time for me to come up with a recipe or two, b/c beloved was on the way out the door to shop. he gave me plenty of notice and reminders - he is not to be blamed. our shopping routines are as firm as the earth's core, at this point. i know when he goes. but i still found myself immersed in law review article about afghanistan or about evidence rules re: submission of affidavits for summary judgment in negligence cases instead of immersed in magazines and recipes.

    And so I grabbed the quickest things I could find that I felt I could throw together into an edible meal.

    and twice now, i was wrong.

    last week, it was chicken with garlic and soy sauce. There was a LOT of garlic, so I thought, "mmmm, garlic" - my favorite flavor. But it didn't cook that way - the chicken was bland, and dry. It went with these crostinis with beets and goat cheese ... but they actually didn't go together so well, even though the crostinis were yummy.

    tonight was my turn again, and i had this pesky thing called a tax exam until 4 p.m. or so, and i just could not focus on thinking about food. not that i was 100% focused on the tax exam, but anytime i had to think of cooking or food, the tax exam blocked all those thoughts, and made me think, "ah! i have too much to do! i can't think about food!"

    so i picked a crock pot recipe.

    i found it on some random website with a list of other crock pot recipes. apricot lemon chicken.

    i was a little worried that there wasn't enough liquid (1/4 cup orange juice and the juice of 1 lemon), but beloved assured me that it would be fine. it called for dried apricots chopped up, which we had, b/c they're a favorite snack of mine. but beloved got this kind that were ... uh, no sulfur? no SOMETHING, and instead of being apricot colored, they're dark brown/blackish. of course it doesn't affect the taste, so it's usually fine.

    however. in a crockpot, all day long (admittedly longer than the recipe actually called for, since i left the house at 8 and was not home until 5ish, but couldn't serve until beloved and e. got home, both some time after 6), the sulfur-free apricots turned everything, well, black. including the lemons.

    and it did cook too long. there was a slight singed smell when j. and i got home.

    i thought it was fine, though, and when the girls whined about being starved before Beloved got home, i served them some chicken and some green beans, and told them to eat. i was waiting for him, but they couldn't - or else they would have just perished from starvation.

    it took them a long time to eat. e. looked sort of pukey. and tearful. so i told her if she didn't knock it off, she had to eat triple the amount.

    when it came time for beloved and i to eat, we approached the girls' plates, and saw the overcooked leathery outsides of the chicken breasts pushed to one side, and looks of dread on their faces at the thought of us making them eat it. they begged for more green beans.

    then WE looked pukey. i told them that as a reward for their longsuffering, they could have some halloween candy, which is otherwise disallowed on weeknights b/c it makes them grouchy in the morning, and sort of not able to wake up. but tonight, they ate poops. so they were able to indulge.

    and beloved made us pasta and meat sauce. we ate REAL food.

    but it is upsetting. i suck!!

    i told beloved that i will not yet accept defeat. now that i have no more pressing exams looming --- I will put time into the planning and the search for GOOD recipes again. I do believe that my recipes (yes, two weeks in a row) were defective.

    yes, i'll keep telling myself that.

    grumble grumble moan groan.

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    posted by Zuska @ 8:28 PM   2 comments
    Once in a Lifetime Opportunity
    or at least it feels that way.

    My quarter is over on Friday. Next week is a "vacation" (ha ha - as IF I get a true vacation).

    On Monday, next week, e.'s class is going on a field trip.

    and i have the day off!! This has seriously never happened before. while i had been a stay at home mom for a long time, by the time e. started school, i was a full time workin' momma. i have never gone with their classes on a trip.

    but on monday, i'm going!!

    j. has had a lot of trips this fall, but since she's in the 3rd grade, a lot of her friends' moms are still at home (they tend to slowly migrate toward "working" status as the kids get older), and also the classrooms have more adults present, and there isn't room for moms to go on trips. so while i was hoping to be able to do it with her class, it hasn't worked out, and it won't - not before i start co-op on the 27th. She has a trip that week after Thanksgiving, but I'll already be back to the 9-5 world (and thensome).

    I am very happy that i get to go with e.'s class. i was hoping to get this opportunity from my low-stress quarter.
    posted by Zuska @ 8:21 PM   1 comments
    tax? check.
    okay - i'm now 3/4ths done. and THAT feels good, let me tell YOU!!

    The exam was not very hard. Perhaps that was by virtue of it being a 1 p.m. exam, rather than 9 a.m., and I was able to spend 5 solid hours before it started filling in holes in my outline and doing practice exams. Practice exams are fun, especially when there's multiple choice, b/c professors are NOT very creative people, and their questions are often very similar from year-to-year. This was an open book exam, so it's not like if there wasn't some repetition I would have been truly stumped, but it did mean that I had the info fresh in my brain, instead of having to go digging.

    The issue spotter was a "fun" topic, for me, so I enjoyed writing about it. I had time at the end to go through my outline and make sure I hit all relevant issues, and threw in a couple that were questionably irrelevant. but, eh.

    All that's left is to polish up Afghanistan. I have 3 days to do it, and hope I can be diligent about it. it would be amazing if i could hand it in on Thursday, and have Friday OFF.

    I am not, however, diligent by nature UNTIL the due date is breathing down my neck.

    My big decision to make? Do I work at home tomorrow? Or at school? At least one part of my paper needs to be enhanced with a wee bit of additional research, but there's a LOT for me to do before (or after) I get to that point.

    It's not easy being in the law school right now. The first year students are on the semester system, and us upper level students are on the quarter system. So while all of us are stressing out, and using the computer lab to do things like print our outlines and finalize papers, the 1Ls come in to do things like ... check e-mail ... in groups. loud groups. loud, giggling groups. they talk. about things like, uh, where to eat lunch. those of us who are about to walk into an exam don't have time to eat lunch. we don't like to listen to people giggling and chatting about lunch.

    i find it very frustrating.

    and with that, i've decided that tomorrow, i work at home. perhaps on thursday, i'll go into the law school in the morning to do my research, and hopefully then finalize my paper, and hand it in.

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    posted by Zuska @ 5:27 PM   1 comments
    Monday, November 13, 2006
    Oooooh, it's been a while!!
    I haven't done a Meme in some time, so when I saw this at She Says' place, i grabbed it faster than I could finish my tax outline even though I only have two sections left:

    "What Have I Done?" (Mine are in bold --- things I'd like to do are in Italics)

    01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
    02. Swam with wild dolphins
    03. Climbed a mountain
    04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
    05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
    06. Held a tarantula
    07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
    08. Said “I love you” and meant it
    09. Hugged a tree
    10. Bungee jumped
    11. Visited Paris
    12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
    13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
    14. Seen the Northern Lights
    15. Gone to a huge sports game (and survived the crush afterwards)
    16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
    17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
    18. Touched an iceberg
    19. Slept under the stars
    20. Changed a baby’s diaper (x 10,000)
    21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
    22. Watched a meteor shower
    23. Gotten drunk on champagne
    24. Given more than you can afford to charity (yeah, that $25 to the DNC last week)
    25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
    26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
    27. Had a food fight
    28. Bet on a winning horse
    29. Asked out a stranger
    30. Had a snowball fight
    31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
    32. Held a lamb
    33. Seen a total eclipse
    34. Ridden a roller coaster
    35. Hit a home run
    36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
    37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
    38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
    39. Had two hard drives for your computer
    40. Visited all 50 states
    41. Taken care of someone who was drunk
    42. Had amazing friends
    43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
    44. Watched wild whales
    45. Stolen a sign
    46. Backpacked in Europe
    47. Taken a road-trip
    48. Gone rock climbing
    49. Midnight walk on the beach
    50. Gone sky diving
    51. Visited Ireland
    52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
    53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
    54. Visited Japan
    55. Milked a cow
    56. Alphabetized your CDs
    57. Pretended to be a superhero ("wonder twin powers, activate!!")
    58. Sung karaoke
    59. Lounged around in bed all day
    60. Played touch football
    61. Gone scuba diving
    62. Kissed in the rain
    63. Played in the mud
    64. Played in the rain
    65. Gone to a drive-in theater
    66. Visited the Great Wall of China
    67. Started a business
    68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
    69. Toured ancient sites
    70. Taken a martial arts class
    71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
    72. Gotten married
    73. Been in a movie
    74. Crashed a party
    75. Gotten divorced
    76. Gone without food for 5 days
    77. Made cookies from scratch
    78. Won first prize in a costume contest
    79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
    80. Gotten a tattoo
    81. Rafted the Snake River
    82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
    83. Got flowers for no reason
    84. Performed on stage
    85. Been to Las Vegas
    86. Recorded music
    87. Eaten shark
    88. Kissed on the first date
    89. Gone to Thailand
    90. Bought a house
    91. Been in a combat zone
    92. Buried one/both of your parents
    93. Been on a cruise ship
    94. Spoken more than one language fluently
    95. Performed in Rocky Horror
    96. Raised children
    97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
    99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
    100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over

    101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
    102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
    103. Had plastic surgery
    104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
    105. Wrote articles for a large publication
    106. Lost over 100 pounds
    107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
    108. Piloted an airplane
    109. Touched a stingray
    110. Broken someone’s heart
    111. Helped an animal give birth
    112. Won money on a T.V. game show
    113. Broken a bone
    114. Gone on an African photo safari
    115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
    116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
    117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
    118. Ridden a horse
    119. Had major surgery
    120. Had a snake as a pet
    121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
    122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
    123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
    124. Visited all 7 continents
    125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
    126. Eaten kangaroo meat
    127. Eaten sushi
    128. Had your picture in the newspaper
    129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
    130. Gone back to school
    131. Parasailed
    132. Touched a cockroach
    133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
    134. Read The Iliad - and the Odyssey
    135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
    136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
    137. Skipped all your school reunions
    138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
    139. Been elected to public office
    140. Written your own computer language
    141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream
    142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
    143. Built your own PC from parts
    144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
    145. Had a booth at a street fair
    146. Dyed your hair
    147. Been a DJ
    148. Shaved your head
    149. Caused a car accident
    150. Saved someone’s life

    I think most of my italics are travel-related, and I'm sure that with Beloved as my soon-to-be-husband, it will happen :) Even though, perhaps, some of the places are ones I'll drag HIM to, instead of him convincing me to explore.

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    posted by Zuska @ 4:30 PM   0 comments
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