Last week, or maybe the week before, Beloved and I realized we'd done nothing about taking care of our cats during our trip. Our 12 day trip.

I said: "Kennel them." Reasons? I don't have time to clean the house, everybody we know who we could ask or pay is gone the same week we are (the greater Boston area is ridiculous with how much people just FLEE in the summer!), and I have no time to clean the house. No time. The house cleaning would have to be big, I said. We would have to do the floors, the walls (just a couple) - - everything would have to be company ready.

Kennel the cats.

Beloved didn't want to. Our black kitty witty isn't really .... right in the head. We're lucky that she ever emerges from under the couch or the bed. I think if she had to spend 2 weeks in a cage in a giant room with assorted other animals, she'd jump out of her fur. Even my well-adjusted royalesque boy would probably be rattled beyond recognition.

So he said "I don't want to kennel them."

I said - fine. Then it's your job. It's your job to find someone, and it's your job to make the house perfect. PERFECT.

Now, I actually did a lot -- I took care of a lot of clutter, and I did my bedroom, and the living room looks better than it ever does (and has since I cleaned it up initially, slowly, 2 weeks ago).

But today?

Beloved is elbows and knee deep in bleach. He did the kitchen floor. It's gleaming. He did it on his hands and knees. He scrubbed everything. He moved the fridge, vacuumed behind there, and he did lots of other hard-labor scrubby things.

When I said it - that it was all his job - a week or 2 ago - I felt perfectly justified. After all, I'm taking the bar exam.

Today ... maybe not so much. It's been all day! While I'm in here filling in bubbles and scribbling on note cards, he's sweating and cleaning and scrubbing like mad!

I'm very appreciative, and it looks great.

Labels: bar prep, beloved, housework

posted by Zuska @ 6:10 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Feeling better (and tired)

Another long day of PMBR, but it's over now. which i guess is good. i'm working on essays, and trying to self-grade them. I just bombed one of them .... but i did okay on 4 of them. okay enough to think, "I can pass the essay part" --

Let it be known - i'm skipping all commercial paper essays! For now. It's on my list for tomorrow.

I shall puzzle through it, and I shall be ready to attempt to answer some Q's about it - maybe.

I also need to take a deep breath and do Corporations. I wrote it on tomorrow's to do list, and even writing it on the list hurt. I broke out into hives. Then today, every single person I spoke to said, "I went through corporations yesterday ...." and i felt woefully behind. they did it yesterday, i'm doing it tomorrow.

i bought shoes for Europe. I'm going to wear them around the house tomorrow while I study and do laundry.

beloved's getting tired of this, i think. i think i'll need to kick in a little bit, and take a little off his shoulders so he doesn't reach his max point on, oh, say Tuesday? the DAY before the bar exam? I mean, that could be one way to take my mind off the exam the next day: fight with my husband all night.

No. not a good plan. i think i may go put away some dishes and take the trash down, or something like that. then PMBR questions. Then I will make Trusts flash cards.

Labels: bar prep, beloved, housework

posted by Zuska @ 8:06 PM 1 comments

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Bar Exam = Unhappy Husband

I didn't get much done over the weekend. I was busy swimming and attending soccer games and such.

So yesterday, I told Beloved that I would go to the library for the entire afternoon, and that he should arrange for the kids to get home (they can walk on their own now, which is VERY nice), and that I would come home when dinner was ready, and please make dinner ready between 6:30 and 7, or actually, just plain old 7, thank you very much.

Then I got home, and I was a bitch. Not really to him ... but to the girls, and I came in and totally changed the atmosphere of the house - from him cooking peacefully and the girls peacefully hanging out in their room (getting along, even), and made the girls surly and it wasn't very nice.

I apologized to the kidlets, but not really to Beloved. (I didn't bitch at him.)

So then we sit down to dinner, and Beloved says "I haven't planned dinner for tomorrow night."

Now, it has been an intermittent rule in this house that on days he works until 6:30 (Tues. and Fri), I cook. Very intermittent. But I was afraid the rule was being invoked, and so I said:

"I can't do that. I'm not doing it tomorrow. I just can't handle doing dinner on top of all of this."

Yeah, nice of me.

We finished dinner at around 8 p.m. (maybe a little earlier), and I was just BEAT. The glass of wine I had probably contributed to that exhaustion (and I made a note of that fact), and I just .... sat. I thought about doing MORE work, since I'm still at least 6 hours behind the "paced program" that the all-knowing bar review company has us on, but I just ... couldn't. I thought about doing laundry, but that thought made me want to die. I was overwhelmed b/c the dishwasher hadn't been run and the sink and counters were covered with dinner and Beloved's lunch, and that morning's breakfast ....

I loaded the dishwasher, and sat on the couch with a mindless computer game. In between those two tasks, I went into the bedroom where Beloved was finishing up his latest writing project, and I said something about "fucking" and something about the kitchen and something about exhaustion, and I certainly didn't mean it would be fun to have sex on the table until exhausted. Actually, bar exam DOES NOT = sex.

5 minutes later, while I was sitting on the couch, Beloved came out of our bedroom (also known as "his office") and said, "sweetie, if you're really that tired, you go on to bed, and I'll take care of the kitchen."

I thought perhaps it would be wrong of me to take him up on it. After all, he cooked. And he's cleaned up the kitchen when it's actually MY job (he who cooks does not clean), but, I rationalized, he went back to bed this morning after the girls left, and I didn't. I went to class. Then I went to the library (after taking literally 8 minutes at home to wolf down some protein), and I worked for 5 hours straight.

So I went to bed. But he seemed grouchy with me --- he really wasn't grouchy when he came in and said he'd clean up. I don't know what happened in between. Perhaps the offer was actually a test. Perhaps it was because he was looking at hotels in Paris and Amsterdam, and was mad that I hadn't already taken care of it (although he's been to both cities, and I've been to neither, and the one time I thought I found a cool Paris hotel, he said it was in a bad area, too far from the center, and so I feel like I can't do it without him, and we're never together - either I'm working or he's writing).

I asked him if he was grouchy, and he said yes. I asked him why, and he said I shouldn't ask that kind of question ... or something.

Then he said he was upset b/c the bar exam makes me self-centered and makes me put everything off. Or something like that. I think the point was: all you talk about is law; all you want to do is study; you never do the laundry; the living room is a mess; and you are BORING."

So I went to sleep.

But then this a.m., I texted him, and said that I WOULD take care of dinner. But his phone was on the kitchen counter, and he was at work.

Tonight, though, I'm doing laundry. My 3rd and 4th loads are in the washer RIGHT NOW.

Labels: bar exam, beloved, housework, marriage, stress

posted by Zuska @ 7:17 PM 4 comments

Friday, June 01, 2007

Calgon? Is that stuff even on the market anymore?

I was thinking, "I'm gonna call my friend J, and whine about how stressed I am." Then I thought, "Beloved's gonna call soon, I'm gonna whine to him about how stressed I am." Then I considered calling my mom, and whining to HER about how stressed I am. Then I thought, "why? I have a blog [for who knows how much longer], I'll whine to it about how stressed I am."

[quick aside: I hate the smell of cigarette smoke more than anything else in the world. I like the smell of skunks. I hate the smell of cologne ... but I hate the smell of cigarette smoke more. So when a collection of boys gather right outside my window and smoke like 17 packs of cigarettes, blowing their nasty-ass smoke into my general direction, I get pissy. I am just that pissy right NOW. At the same time, it gave me an excuse to close the windows and turn on the a/c, which I think was a good thing, since I just went into the bathroom and found two rather round and well-formed droplets of sweat on my face.]

I shouldn't get to complain, b/c despite my stress, I just found 20 minutes to sit at a friend's kitchen table and guzzle a glass of wine while hearing a very brief synopsis of relationship history.

But I am complaining anyway.

5:50 a.m.: Wake up; run around reservoir.
7:00 a.m.: Walk in front door, check on E's morning routine progress; usher kids toward proper clothing and breakfast consumption.
7:30 a.m.: sign a flurry of school notices due to be returned TODAY, or else children will shatter, crack, and likely die.
7:45 a.m.: say bye to children.
7:45:05 a.m.: get in shower
8:14 a.m.: Smile at myself in the mirror in my new [smaller] skirt and cute shoes.
8:25 a.m.: Leave for BarBri
9:10 a.m.: Arrive at BarBri; commence guilty feelings for not finishing the condensing of my notes last night; listen in dread to the lists of tasks completed by my classmates while i was attending "Fun Night" at the kids' elementary school, and helping J with her latest school project, due next Weds., but creating stress now.
9:30 a.m.: Watch video about the torture that will be the MBE Exam.
10:00 a.m.: Think, "Oh my God, I cannot listen to Professor [??] Kaufman talk about Agency and Partnership for more than 3 minutes, b/c his voice and mannerisms are going to make my brain detach from my spinal cord ... or something.
10:10 a.m.: Find myself laughing at Professor Kaufman, and realize that his "performance" is clearly calculated to create triggers in our pathetic brains.
1:10 p.m.: Run out of class to the T station where I am forced to wait until
1:30 p.m.: Get on Train
1:50 p.m.: Arrive in parking garage where zipcar is parked; freak out because parking pass thingy is not in car where it's supposed to be, and I cannot get out of the garage b/c I don't have an entry ticket, b/c I came on foot, and paying for parking without an entry ticket will likely cost upwards of $400 [the monthly fee].
1:52 p.m.: Call Zipcar and think about how utterly helpless they are, try to remember how helpful they were on Monday, wonder why they say, "well, if no one there can help you, call us back" - why? Why not just do whatever it is you would do if I called you back NOW??
1:53 p.m.: Leave garage after pushing "help" button and asking the man to lift the gate. [yeah, that was hard. I'm a dork. As we all know.]
2:03 p.m.: Arrive at public library, 30 feet from elementary school, figure out how to put top down on the Mini named Mim; realize it's too fucking hot for the top to be down, and that I wasted $2/hour on a fancy-pants car when all I really want is a/c.
2:04 p.m.: See E, call her to the car.
2:07 p.m.: Get home, call store to see if shirts are in; make list of items to purchase for tomorrow's bday party.
2:14 p.m.: Leave house.
2:30 p.m.: Arrive at Target, realizing that I have eaten nothing but 2 golf-ball sized nectarines and 20 cherries all day. Realize that I have a headache. Realize that I may pass out.
2:45 p.m. Call other mom who's doing this bday party; run choices by her; get new assignments of things to purchase.
2:55 p.m.: Tell E "sure, go ahead and grab a bag of Peanut M&M's"
3:15 p.m.: Get back in car, having all necessary items (except plain M&Ms, meant for the party, but Target ran out, b/c M&Ms were "buy one get one free"), decide to take E to an art store to get a bday gift for her friend's party which is on Sunday, and to stop at Starbucks for a caffeine-free Frappucino for her, and a venti icey non-fat sugar-less coffee for me.
3:25 p.m.: Realize that I'd eaten entirely too many peanut M&Ms.
3:45 p.m.: Feel a sense of pride at speedy errands as I checked out at the art store and wondered if there's still time for a Stop & Shop run to get ingredients for cookies which I Promised 9 year old's I'd make with them tonight during sleep over extravaganza.
4:15 p.m.: Arrive at home; drop off Target bags and E; look up cookie recipes; make list.
4:30 p.m.: Drop off Zipcar; walk to Stop & Shop; call dr.'s office on the way to make appointments for girls' annual physicals.
4:50 p.m.: Call E, tell her I'm on my way home, and that she needs to do her cello practice; clean her room, and pack her overnight bag so I can drop her off at her friend's house on my way to meet J at soccer where J will be dropped off after acting class, because I need to bring J her cleats, etc.
4:53 p.m.: Receive phone call from E's friend's mom [potential new friend] who wants to "stop by" b/c she's driving past the house and she'll just wait for E while E packs bag. I freak out, tell Potential New Friend that my home is not fit for Human Viewing, and that she cannot come to my house, that I will bring E to her .... later. Potential New Friend informs me that i am, in fact, a freak, and now she wants to be my friend even more. he he he.
5:00 p.m.: Arrive home, scurry around the house picking up, putting away eggs [yes, in that order], coaching E through cello practice; making phone calls re: thunder and lightning and their potential effect on soccer practice and alternate plans for J, who can't be dropped off at home while I'm dropping off E.
5:20 p.m.: Leave house with E.
5:30 p.m.: Arrive at Potential New Friend's House. She pours me a glass of wine. I sit. After sitting for literally 4 minutes, cell phone rings with Alternate Plan Mom [also co-bday party mom] saying, "Can I bring the 9 year olds to your house now?" I somehow put her off for "ten minutes"
5:45 p.m.: Finally leave New Friend's house; practically jog (still in pretty new smaller skirt) to my own house, calling Other Mom saying, "okay!! Bring them over now!" Just hoping that I'll get there before her so I don't have to tell her that I chose to sit and have a glass of wine instead of meeting her at my house 15 minutes ago.
6:00 p.m.: 9 year olds get dropped off. I clean a little, e-mail a little, sweat a little, smell a little cigarette smoke, usher 9 year olds and their damned recorders into the bedroom and close the door, and eventually kick them outside once thunder and lightning are gone and sun is back so they can kick the soccer ball.
6:15 p.m. I write this post.

I still have to do a lot. Beloved's at the store (after work) getting stuff for veggie nachos (veggie in honor of our Kosher 9 year old friend, b/c she can't have the meat and cheese together, and I'd rather give up the meat than the cheese ... although I'd also like meat. I guess Beloved could have cooked it up separate, and just sprinkled it on MY nachos. Damn. I wonder if he'll think of that? This is the kind of thing that he always thinks of. I sit here thinking, "oh, too bad I didn't tell him that," and then he comes home with the same thing in mind, and I gush over how wonderful he is, and how we were clearly made for each other, and that he is truly my soul mate, b/c he read my mind, and made my life perfect.)

I have to make cookies. And I have to make a play list. And I wish I saved this cute new skirt for tomorrow at the party ... but I did not.

Uh, Blogger's having an outage in 2 minutes. I better publish this, and go clean more.

Labels: *E*, *J*, bar exam, bar prep, beloved, birthdays, chaos, friends, housework, parenting, rain, soccer, studies, weather, weekends, whining, zipcar, Zuska the Dork

posted by Zuska @ 6:26 PM 3 comments

Friday, April 06, 2007

Insult, Compliment, or Nothing to do with ME

A friend came by to drop off her kiddo a bit ago. She's been here several times - when the house ready for company, when I'm in the midst of deep cleaning, when I'm in the midst of exams and the place looks like shit, while Beloved is in the process of cooking a meal and the kitchen looks crazy but smells fantastic --- she knows this place.

Today she walked in as the girls were playing a card game on the floor and I was sitting on the couch checking e-mail. She said, "your house is so quiet!" slight pause, "and clean!"

I laughed, thinking, "surprise, surprise, Zuska's house is clean" - not really insulted, b/c, really, my house is always cluttered. Not DIRTY, mind you, but cluttered. Reason being we're shoving 2500 square feet worth of people and belongings into a 1000 square foot (or less) apartment. Considering that fact, we don't do too bad.

But then her daughter (8 years old) laughed, and said "that's because OUR house is so messy and loud!"

Okay, then.

Nothing to do with me. Or my "clean" house.

Labels: friendship, housework, life

posted by Zuska @ 10:45 AM 0 comments

Lazy v. "not much to do"

Like I said before, the kidlets have the day off today (Good Friday). I am taking the day off, too. I don't have classes on Fridays, but I usually try (cough cough) to get reading done for the next week.

Not today. I brought some "catch up" reading home for International Law, but since I bought 3 novels yesterday, I somehow doubt it's gonna happen.

The funny thing is - I don't have much to do.

My IP class is canceled all next week, because the prof. (one of my faves from all of law school) is going to a conference. We're making the days up later in the quarter, so there will come a time where I have extra reading to do, but I can't make up for it now. I'm not good at reading way ahead. I forget things.

No IP this week means that I have 2 classes on M/W, and there are 5 hours between them. The first one's at Noon. I have one class on T/Th.

I just don't NEED to work this weekend. Really, at all.

I do need to: Clean my room, work on my bar application (i.e., remember 16 years' worth of employment, create an extra 50 pages of the employment sheet, find my divorce decree so I can figure out when it was filed, when judgment was entered, and what my case # was, since I need to let the bar know that I was a party to a litigation, and try to figure out if Liberty University's "reprimands" for not dusting my dorm room count as "disciplinary action" for purposes of admittance to the Massachusetts Bar), re-read my book group book, and fill out my extension paperwork for my taxes.

Since I'm giving all the kids space from the evil presence of adults, I think I'll start today with cleaning my room.

Labels: bar exam, housework, law school

posted by Zuska @ 10:23 AM 0 comments

Friday, March 30, 2007

I entered a contest ....

The other day, i decided to vacuum the living room. Unfortunately, I do this only once a month. This is bad of me. I should do it more than once a week, especially since two cats have allowed me to live with them. (On the plus side, we have largely hardwood floors ... the carpet isn't so large, and we do sweep several times a week, if not daily.) I was very frustrated, b/c little piles of dirt kept accumulating very time I paused with the vacuum, and I hate that. I have never had a vacuum that just SUCKS EVERYTHING UP. Why oh why is it always so frustrating?

Then I saw why. The bag was full. Of course. Because it was something I hadn't thought of in forever. I thought, "no problem, I have bags in the closet."

But of course (again), the bags in the closet were for the OTHER vacuum. The one Beloved brought into our world, and which I hate, what with the dragging and the hose and the attachments. Ptooey.

No RR bags. The letters required by my STUPID NON-SUCKING vacuum.

And of course, upon visiting the local stores, there are no RR bags to be found.

Does anyone reading remember that I do not have a car?

Does anyone remember that Beloved and I hit a damned tree with our zipcar a month or so ago, and until they get the claim straighted out, I'm suspended from renting cars?

So I can't even go to Target to get the RR bag.

Beloved has been drooling over a Dyson vacuum for years. They're bagless.

BAG-LESS!! No need to run to Target. No "overfilling of the bag."

But they're expensive.

I thought they were like $1500.

This post says no, they're $400.

Which is a lot, when you consider that most vacuums (that I've owned) cost less than $75.

But then there's this contest .... put on by Five Minutes for Mom. I'm a mom. I have two kids. They're kinda big, but they still make considerable messes. They tend to kick up the carpet with dancing and with playing of board games, and other assorted activities.

We also refer to me as the "mom" of my boy. He's a very large carpet-offender (and couches, and chairs, and coats and piles of clean laundry). His little friend is really no better.

So, I'd like to win. I want the vacuum.

Labels: housework, life

posted by Zuska @ 8:22 PM 5 comments

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

In Unit Laundry or Bust

One of the greatest benefits of a blog - I can go off on stupid issues whenever I want, and no one can stop me. If I go in the other room and try to tell Beloved about my upsetedness, he sort of looks at me from under his eyebrows in a way that says, "when is she going to stop yammering about this ridiculous issue? I am so fucking sick and tired of hearing about this!"

But then I can come and bitch here, and really, ya'll can't give me dirty looks. You can quick-click-away - but what the hell do I care? You still show up on my sitemeter. I still get to feel more popular. I don't really give a shit if you hate my laundry stories. You likely have a topic that irritates me, and yet, I come back to you, and I have confidence that despite the fact that you every now and then must skim the first line (or in this case, 3 paragraphs) in order to say, "Jesus Christ, Zuska, I am so sick and tired of reading about your fucking laundry room! Buy a goddamned house already, and buy your own fucking laundry machines, or shut up!" you're gonna come back. Because tomorrow, I may have something insightful to say.

About law school.

Or working mommies.

Or perhaps some truly invaluable parenting advice.

_______________________________

I have had multiple issues with the laundry in the basement of my building. Issues surrounding asshole neighbors, issues surrounding shitty machines. Tonight, the two collide (and I'm sure not for the first time).

7:35 - I go downstairs with two loads of the girls' clothes. All washers (2) are running. One dryer is running. I leave my basket and go back upstairs.
7:55 - I go back downstairs and start my washers. One (out of two) dryer is running, with 10 minutes left on it. Washers take 3 minutes. All should be well.
8:25 - I go downstairs - my washers are done. The dryer is done. Woo hoo! Laundry time! I check the dryers. The one that had been running still has clothes in it, but I take my time removing my clothes from the washers, allowing more time for the owner of the clothing to come and get their clothes.
8:35 - Person still isn't there. No biggy. I will give them more time. I fill the now-emptied washers with MORE dirty clothes. I put quarters in the machine. I start the machine.
8:36 - I put quarters in the one empty dryer. I push in the tray and then press the "start" button.
8:36:05 - weird shrieking noise comes from dryer.
8:36:06 - I let go of start button; noise stops.
8:36:07 - I open and SLAM shut dryer; thinking perhaps something had obstructed the door.
8:36:07 - I press the start button; noise resumes.
8:36:08 - I slam door again, and sort of .... punch it. Thinking I can MAKE it close; noise persists.
8:36:09 - Being a considerate person, I think, "I shouldn't slam anymore. Kids may be sleeping." and instead look for clues.
8:36:10 - I feel up the dryer. It feels dented underneath the door. The door doesn't seem to shut, but it seems like perhaps something got FUCKING PISSED OFF and kicked the damned thing, and damaged it.
8:36:11 - I think "fuck." The other dryer still has clothes in it - someone else's clothes. These clothes are not fully dry (b/c the dryers SUCK), and I don't think it's right to take the clothes out.
8:36:12 - I weigh the situation: It would not be right to take someone's damp clothes from the dryer - it's still "their turn" - but at what point can I consider their turn abandoned? Their clothes abandoned? It's been over 30 minutes. I then consider the fact that there's only one working dryer, and decide that this should inspire a more vigilant consideration in those who put their clothes in the dryer.
8:37: I take the damp clothes out of the dryer and put them on the table which seems to have no other purpose than hold the clothes that others remove from abandoned machines.
8:37:01: I put 2 rounds of quarters in the dryer, as well as 2 loads of clothes. I feel like shit.
8:37:06: I come into the apartment and complain to Beloved that the laundry room sucks. He tells me "oh, don't worry, I am not in desperate need for my clothes." I tell him to just SHUT UP (b/c I'm nice like that), since I already started the damned washers before I knew there was a dryer issue!! So just ..... stop talking. He mutters something about me being an unreasonable bitch and him just trying to help and me sort of sucking. Not in the good way (although I do -- in the good way).
8:38: I bring an apologetic note downstairs explaining that I waited for a LONG TIME before removing damp clothes from dryer.
9:00 - I go to check on dryers. Damp clothes still on table, note still there. My clothes are still way wet. Fuck.
9:45 - Back downstairs. Clothes still wet. Damp clothes still there.
10:48 - My clothes STILL wet, damp clothes gone. No apparent retaliation.

And still, I wait. I'm going to be up for a very, very, very long time tonight.

Expect more posts. He he he - American Idol was on tonight, don't you know.

Labels: housework, laundry

posted by Zuska @ 10:27 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Because I am, after all, a grown up

I did do work after my last post. I read 2 assignments and wrote a short paper. Not too shabby for a lazy-sloth-like-being, eh?

It is my turn to "cook" tonight. See the quotes? That means, "it's my turn to go and pick up some prepared foods at Trader Joe's."

Tonight's lazy-ass meal -- a roasted chicken (perhaps 2, they're little, and we like our chicken), pita, hummus, tabouli, and if I can find some - yogurt mint cucumber sauce.

Beloved just rolls his eyes at me. Why oh why, when I only have 2 nights/week that I'm responsible for am I so very pathetic? I am, really, so very pathetic.

Thursday? It's my other night to "cook." Beloved works into the evening, and the girls and I are going to the play (I'm actually working at it ... my kids aren't in it that night), so I'm fairly certain I'll take the Qs out for sushi.

If I can get my shit together, I really could COOK on T/Th. I could plan a meal, do the shopping, and actually take out some pots and pans. The problem is I need to carve out time to go through recipes. This is where I fall short - this is what I can't find within myself. The ideas, the planning. I am done with class on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 9:30 a.m. I certainly have time to shop and cook.

Other than complaining about my lack of domesticity, tonight will be an exciting evening. IN the works: American Idol and LAUNDRY!!

The only good thing about hte laundry is that it will be primarily the girls' stuff tonight (with a few of my stinky gym clothes thrown in for good measure), which means they fold, they put the crap away. Which is yet another of my flaws .... I never put laundry away. I have 2 stacks of folded laundry next to my bed, b/c I washed it, I dried it, and I folded it. I just didn't put it away.

Oh yeah, and I have a laundry basket with another load of clean clothes that I did NOT fold.

Pathetic.

Or, perhaps, just in need of some domestic assistance. Next year, Zuska, next year.

Labels: cooking, housework, laundry, law school

posted by Zuska @ 4:01 PM 1 comments

Friday, March 09, 2007

Nice wrench, pretty wrench, relaxing wrench

I decided to leave my computer home a few times a week, rather than lugging it to school. Partly because I get sick of lugging it to school, and partly because I suck at self discipline* - which means if I have the computer, and an internet connection, I'm likely to spend more time hitting "refresh" on my email accounts than reading.

Today, sans computer, I was being pretty good, staying on track and remaining focused. I kept thinking of blog posts I wanted to write, but was relatively content to hold off until tonight to post.

I ran out to get some food, stopped by the computer lab to check my e-mail, and was working my way back up to my books when my cell phone rang in my pocket.

It was the school nurse - J. was in her office with a 102 fever. Yikes!!

I gobbled down less than half of my lunch, threw the rest away, threw some books into some bags, and hopped on the T.

Now we're home, and she's on the couch. The Tylenol kicked in, and she's relatively chatty (still has a 100.5 fever), and so I can't read. I should probably clean this damned disgusting house, but look at the opportunity? I can BLOG!! I can read blogs. I can lie on my couch. I can rest with my eyes shut.

*Hello, bar exam? What the HELL am I going to do???

Labels: health, housework, kids, law school

posted by Zuska @ 3:14 PM 1 comments

Saturday, December 30, 2006

Zuska's Home Adventures

Today is .... funny.

First of all, I woke when Beloved was getting ready for work, and I made him wake the girls with a goodbye kiss (it was 9 a.m.), and when he left, I yanked them from bed and took them to Whole Foods.

We did New Year's shopping. We're having our same Schmorgasbord day as last year, with games and movies, and we HOPE a walk in the snow. So I had a lot of shopping to do. It was funny, b/c the girls came with me. I never shop ... they never shop. I'm not very familiar with the store, and we don't have "systems" in place like we used to when I was the primary, and then at least 50% time, grocery shopper. Now Beloved does it consistently, usually on the bike alone.

I think the funniest part was when we were checking out - the cash register showed it had gotten to $102 (I thought it would be more like $300, considering all we had to buy), and e. was like, "mom!! this is so expensive! it's going to be a LOT of money! she isn't even DONE yet!" When it stopped at $163, she was agog. ha. I know that Thanksgiving was more like $180, and our weekly bill is well enough over $100 that her amazement came from nothing but ignorance.

We came home and unloaded the groceries, and then I went to bring our friends' car back to their driveway. That's when i told the girls how much free time they had, so they chose to watch Zoom and Dragonfly T.V., and when I got back, the t.v. was off, and they were writing (e. on the computer, and j. in a book). They were slightly worried b/c the phone had rung rather persistently, but they're not allowed to answer the phone or the door when they're home alone. It was my parents, calling to say that they got a MacBook, and they one-upped me, and got a better one than mine (frizzum frazzum).

I started laundry, and on my way down to the basement, I asked e. to start the dishwasher. i said, "the soap is in this bag over here by the door" and went downstairs.

I came back up, and the dishwasher was on, b/c of my daughter being oh-so-obedient. I don't know what made me ask ... b/c the bag didn't look any different? It hadn't moved, or been wrinkled? (it was a whole foods paper bag) - but I said, "e., did you use the soap from the bag?" and she said, "no, there was dishwashing liquid on the sink."

'TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!!! STOP THE DISHWASHER!!" (that was me). She used hand-dishwashing soap. We scooped it out, and wiped down the dishwasher door, put regular soap in, and started it.

Then we played Yahtzee, and some guy called to ask me about the different grocery stores in the area (I'm pretty sure that Stop & Shop keeps funding these surveys, b/c everyone in this town is flocking to Whole Foods, b/c Stop & Shop had rats - we were already Whole Foods People). I enjoyed trashing Stop & Shop, so I stayed on the phone with him.

J. won at Yahtzee ... she got Yahtzee twice, which was good, b/c we all 4 played last night, and she lost mercilessly, and b/c she was very tired (game wasn't over until 11), she cried. Today definitely healed that.

While we were playing, I happened to glance into the kitchen .... where soap bubbles were taking over the floor!! e. was VERY worried that she'd be in trouble, but I told her she wasn't, b/c I'd never actually taught her how to run the dishwasher, and it was okay. We sopped it up, and placed some pans under the dishwasher door to catch the REST of the suds.

But the cycle is over now, and there are still suds all in the bottom, and I'm not 100% sure what I should do about that. Do I run it again? and just let it run and run until the suds are gone?

I feel like this is a day out of Mr. Mom or something .... only I'm the Mrs. And I suck. I also made my kids microwavable soup for lunch. Beloved would *never* do that. NEVER!! But it was organic and low sodium? So isn't that okay?

Labels: housework, kids, laundry, parenting

posted by Zuska @ 1:48 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

muuuuch better

Last night I stopped what I was doing at 10:30 p.m., and went to SLEEP!! I got up at 5:15, went for a run, and now I'm getting in the shower at 6:30.

I had a productive evening - I am slightly surprised, b/c toward the end of the day at work, I was having to map out (on paper) everything I was reading in order to comprehend the words. If I didn't write things down, I would find myself 3 pages in without any clue as to what I had just read. I have a super-duper lot to do this week, and potentially not enough time to do it. Bringing things home is not an option, with the Solstice prep that is going on around here.

When I got home, however, I hit a 2nd wind. First of all, the book I made for my parents came in, and it's GORGEOUS. I am very happy with the quality. VERY HAPPY. That put me in a good mood. Then I cleaned up the kitchen from the night before, then I took my first two loads of laundry down, then I came upstairs and started cooking dinner, then as it was simmering, I ran down and brought the second two loads of laundry down, then i came up and served the family, then we ate, then I ran downstairs and put the second two loads in the dryer, brought the first two loads up and dumped them on the floor for the kids to fold,

Then I locked myself in my room, and got 2/3ds of e.'s scrapbook completed.

Tonight: stop on the way home to pick up a frame for e.'s gift to her sister and some supplies from an art store; then complete e.'s gift, and wrap them both.

ugh.

Labels: cooking, holidays, housework, life

posted by Zuska @ 6:23 AM 1 comments

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

mmmmmmmmmm

that's about all the energy i have right now.

But I do have enough energy to say that this news made me so happy. I don't know if it's my exhaustion, or what, but I read this post 2 hours ago, and I'm STILL getting teared up thinking about it, I am so happy for my fellow blogger.

my ipod is playing a favorite song of mine from the year that i left my ex. it's alanis morissette's "That Particular Time" - it never got radio time, that I know of, but it was so perfect for the end of that marriage. For the most part. Mostly the refrain (I think that's what it's called ... the part that starts with "I always wanted for you what you wanted for yourself" ..)

the point of this post? Solstice is kicking me in the ass. It's my own damned fault, and I feel like e., b/c I keep telling myself, "oh well, that's me. That's Zuska. There's nothing I can do about it in order to make it better next year. I am just not CAPABLE of starting projects early - of getting done without cramming at the end." But you know what? This should be a FUN time of year!

Instead, I'm so exhausted I could PUKE. I went to bed after 1, I couldn't get up to go running and that really upsets me, and I'm only done with ONE scrapbook. I haven't even started e.'s.

j.'s, however, ROCKS. Sorry if that's obnoxious, but if someone made that for me, I swear, I would just hug and hug and hug them.

I have to be more careful when I make e.'s:

the books are reminiscent of our time in Berkeley, at the LAST house we lived in. Not their whole lives in Berkeley.

j. only had kindergarten there. We were here for 1st grade. She was pretty young when we left, and didn't have a very difficult transition. While making her scrapbook, I felt like I was building memories for her, and that I could do what I wanted with it. I also could trust that for her, it's a pretty distant memory, and she has built so much more here than she had there.

e. however, is trickier. She was there through 2nd grade, and she had a really hard time leaving. So first of all, her pictures and such tell their own story (where j.'s had more commentary than I think e.'s will need). Second of all, I don't want her to cry when she looks at it. I need to find a way to make it a happy thing, and not a sad, "I miss my old friends" thing. I *think* she has enough distance between now and then at this point, and it will be okay. I do feel that it's a more delicate undertaking.

J.'s, however, ROCKS.

Every year, when I make them things, I love doing it. I love pulling things together, and it looks so good when I'm done. (I thought I posted photos of last year's project, which also came out really well, but now I remember I didn't, b/c they had the girls' names on it -- they were storage boxes. They each got 2 - one for journals and writing, and one for art. I decoupaged some fancy papers and old drawings and such of theirs onto them, and e.'s were very "e," and j.'s were very "j" and I had fun, and loved the final product.)

This year, my favorite thing is stamps. Beloved has 3 alphabets of stamps, and he and the girls have a lot of others. I was a little leery about doing a "scrapbook," b/c no offense to those other moms who love "scrapbooking" - but it ain't my thing. I am a shunner of "cutesy" for the most part. I knew that I could make my kids a scrapbook without making them a "Scrapbook." But I wasn't sure how I was goign to pull it off.

The answer? Cool stamps. I'll post some photos tonight, if I have a moment to breathe.

The worst part about my exhaustion and my cramming and my last-minute procrastination mess?

There's no way in HELL that I'm gonna have time to make something for Beloved. No way in HELL.

I have wanted to make him something (a certain something) for 3 years now. Every year, I run otu of time donig the girls' stuff, and don't get to his. This sucks!

But, in some ways, I'm sort of glad ... I wish I could share my idea, but I can't. In the past few days, however, I've thought of a SUPER KICK-ASS refinement of my idea, and when I thought I still had time to make him "something" - I was bummed b/c I didn't have time to collect materials for the SUPER KICK-ASS version. Putting it off means that I can make that other version work.

And I'll just buy him stuff. The girls will yell at me, but you know what? I'm the mother, so be quiet.

I also did laundry last night. 4 loads. And guess what? I did nothing but my own clothes. I was selfish, putting myself first (it was either that, or pull a Britney today .... well, 1/2 a Britney, in that I wouldn't be wearing underwear, but not a Britney, in that I would never be caught dead in a skirt as short as hers, and my private bits would still be covered up - either by tights, or by pants. But still. All my undies were dirty.)

tonight, I do the girls' clothes. Tomorrow night, I do Beloved's.

Oh, woe is me.

now I have actual work to do. Shit.

Labels: holidays, home, housework, solstice

posted by Zuska @ 8:43 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

accomplishments!!

today, i was successful at dragging my lazy ass outside in 33 degree weather to go for a run. i always think that cold weather makes it harder to run, and often use it as an excuse. however, the last three days and a close examination of my past shows me that it is not true. cold weather is GOOD for me to run in. i like to run in cold weather. i lost my pregnancy weight running in cold weather, back in 1999/2000. i actually have a harder time in HOT weather.

i was then successful at getting my MA driver's license. i almost hit a snag, b/c my social security card still shows the married name on it (but the maiden name is there, too, as a middle name, and this maiden name does not exist outside my very small family - there's no question that i'm the same person). i had my divorce judgment (which couples as proof of legal name change in CA, where the divorce happened), but they wouldn't even look at that. too bad, they said. but then a supervisor came over, looked at the window-meany-head-girl like she was stoooopid (she wasn't - she was just mean and bitter and hates her job and all the people who are forced to speak to her b/c it is her job) and told her that since my current (maiden) name comes up when she puts my social security number into the "system" - she needed to leave me alone and give me my damned license.

phew.

i was then successful at getting the paperwork completed for my upper level writing requirement for school. it was something i wrote last fall, and the form required my signature, my professor's signature - and that's it. why i waited a year, i have no idea. but it's done now. i'm that much closer to graduating.

i was NOT successful at getting to the social security office, b/c it was a good bit out of the way, and since i went for a run at 8:15 instead of 6:00, i was tighter on time than i planned.

i was successful at getting my hairs cut. i won't call it "unsuccessful" to say that i did not color my hair. i really don't want to be "coloring my hair" - i wanted one little burst of auburn hair for the sake of the season. i don't want roots. i don't want to feel like i have to KEEP coloring my hair. my hair-person told me that considering all of that - i shouldn't color my hair. that reds fade fast, and not always to a pleasant color.

she also said that my natural color is so beautiful and highlighted (naturally) and interesting, that i'd be a FOOL to cover it up.

she loves me.

who could blame her?

i don't agree with her, but still, i appreciated her advice, and took it.

the hair is short. probably 4 or 5 inches came off. i love it. it's good.

i then went to my town hall, and e. was sitting on the floor in the lobby. what the hell? why was she there? there were lots of kids there from her after-school program. i knew she was starting this (optional) program on recycling, where they're volunteering to help out with the town's recycling program during her after-school time, but i thought it was at the library.

i have never been to my town hall before.

e. has never been to our town hall before.

and yet, today, when i decide to go for the first time, she's there?

it was soooooo weird. i felt like i was following her. but i was NOT.

she saw my hair, and it was cute.

when they were little, i used to wonder if changes in my hair would make it so they didn't recognize me. i thought about that again today. i wondered if when i go to pick up j., and her eyes hit the door way b/c a mom has entered, and she doesn't see the long hair, or the pony tail, will her eyes just go back to her book/game/friend? or will she know it's me anyway?

well, when e. saw me, her eyes were on my eyes, and of COURSE she knew it was me. then came the shock, as her view of me widened. it was so cute. i just flipped my hair and walked away.

b/c she was learning about recycling.

i went there for the purpose of getting a passport with my proper name. b/c of the name change, and my passport being 5 years old, i basically have to apply for a new passport. i had everything with me that i needed except pictures. so i then went and had pictures taken.

i was going to go right back, but i didn't have my checkbook ($67), and i don't know how to spell my mother's maiden name.

it's a very hard maiden name. it's czechoslavakian. the question i always have is whether it's ending is -shick, -chick, or schick, or -shik, -chik, or schik. i have no idea. she gets mad every time i have to ask, too. angry. she will be angry with me tonight, b/c i plan on bringing this puppy in tomorrow a.m.

then i came home and decided to confront a personal issue that has been making me very unhappy for a week or so, and it was hard, and emotionally draining, and it's not even over with.

i am also in the process of making a roast. i think it's gonna be yummy.

but now i have to go get j.

Labels: divorce, housework, kids, law school, life

posted by Zuska @ 4:59 PM 1 comments

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

perhaps i should feel guilty, but i don't.

the girls' school always calls the wednesday in the week before thanksgiving "dress up day," and they serve turkey and other thanksgiving-type foods in the cafeteria. the first year we lived here, j. was still straddling her girly-girl phase, and had approx. 167 dressy-dresses to choose from, and e. had enough. last year, they wore their flower girl dresses from my brother's wedding (which really weren't THAT dressy). this year, j. is 100% out of her girly-girl stage, and both girls prefer to wear warm-up pants, yoga pants, and ocassionally jeans with simple long sleeve t-shirts. they don't really have any dress up clothes anymore.

but j. went searching last night for the "right" outfit. after we rejected a few way-too-summery choices, she ended up wearing some flowy capri pants with a really nice fall sweater. e. wore some black velvety yoga pants, and wanted to wear her hippy-poet shirt with them. however, j. wore that shirt to the ballet on friday, and i hadn't done their laundry over the weekend (HELLO!! Exams!!).

i half-jokingly told e. to go get her laundry bin, take it downstairs, and start 2 loads in the washers. she didn't bat an eye - she just did it. the hamper was at first too full, but she took some of the laundry out, making sure that her shirt was not removed, and went downstairs.

she came back to report that it took a little longer b/c she forgot to sort the clothes first, and was just about to put detergent in when she remembered. so she had to empty and re-fill the washers. i told her it was important to sort the clothes right now, b/c they have a few new tops, and i'd hate for them to be ruined b/c of their colors not being set.

ten really is too young to be doing her own laundry, right? beloved and i both distinctly remember being closer to 12 when we were assigned the task of doing our own clothes. but she didn't mind. she liked it, and felt that it would be a very fair trade off for some of the other chores she is routinely assigned and detests. she is willing to trade - she will do their laundry (not mine or beloved's, of course, and she wouldn't have to do her sister's, if they didn't share a hamper and sometimes clothes) if i no longer make her bring down the recycling.

bringing down the recycling is most definitely the easiest job in the house. we keep the paper in a bag, and bottles in a box, and you walk down ONE flight of stairs (or take an elevator) to the room where it's all kept, dump the stuff in the bins, and you're DONE.

she's willing to trade that for laundry? the child is insane.

but i am seriously considering making this change.

oh, and they both looked very pretty this morning.

Labels: housework, kids, laundry, life, parenting

posted by Zuska @ 1:18 PM 1 comments

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