The parts for e.'s play were handed out yesterday. She is NOT the lead, but she got a VERY good part, and the leads went to very talented 6th graders, which I think is the most appropriate. e. is a very good sport, and very good natured, and spent only a short time being disappointed that she isn't the lead. She is encouraged that she got a good part, and is hopeful about next year - when SHE is a 6th grader.

I think it helps her that the adults love her. Most adults just think she is the "neatest kid" or "so wonderful!" Kids sometimes, not so much. But the ADULTS love her. And the adults do the casting.

I think this is an important year for e. She is doing some serious reshuffling, socially, which I think is good. We moved here in her 3rd grade year, and she lacked confidence and was dealing with the transition and some homesickness issues (missing California and the friends she'd established there). Then in 4th grade, she had her first real "social network" and did GREAT. It was her first time, I think, where she was solidly in a group of kids, and wasn't just dependent on one or two others to play with - feeling lost if they chose to do something else or were not around. That was the group that started a newspaper, and it was a co-ed group, and it was just great for her.

This year, they all got shuffled around, and while they all are still friends, they aren't all in the same class. Some people who weren't in her class last year are this year, and she's finding that perhaps that's TOO much time to spend with them. She is taking on new activities, and backing off on some old activities. Her love of acting and theater stuff is proving relentless, and I think she's exhibiting talent, which is fun.

Even academically, I think she's finding her way more independently. Or finding the way to BE more independent. I learned in November that she certainly still needs guidance, as she got two mediocre grades in one week, but since then, she's doing really well, and still proving to be very engaged academically.

She was privately approached by her classroom teacher who asked her to please write an article for the school newsletter that goes home with all the kids to parents about an issue she's been working on in that "gifted" program she does every now and then (it was supposed to be once a week, but the teacher is often not in school, and it's been quite sporadic).

She's also taller, and cuter. Even though she gets very angry if I call her "cute." I have to tell her she looks "nice" - not "cute." Which is, well, cute.

_______________________________________

I had to work at home last night. Which I didn't want to do. We went out for sushi for dinner to celebrate e.'s part in the play, and didn't get home until late. I then managed e.'s progress on her project that's due Friday (I'm hoping for a check-plus here), and checked j.'s homework with her, and by the time they got into bed, it was 9:25, and I was tired, and the LAST thing I wanted to do was read cases to try and find something other than "judicial discretion judicial discretion judicial discretion" and perhaps something more like a solid legal principle that I could apply .... I was TIRED. So I took out my little Pac Man Plug-n-Play that Beloved got me for the holidays, and played a few games of that. Poor Pac Man proves to be an old man now. When he was younger, I could whip him around the screen and he would have multiple lives and eat lots of ghosties. Now, he's just not as nimble anymore. The most I've gotten for him is one extra life, and maybe 1-2 ghosties per power pellet. Then again, I'm not willing to work with him as much as I used to ... 15 minutes every two weeks (tops) instead of 2-3 hours every DAY like when I was a kiddo .... I guess it's my fault that he's out of shape.

The girls were incensed, however, that I chose to do something fun after they went to bed. ha ha.

Between the dinner out, the project oversight, the Pac Man and the cases I had to read, I feel like I got ZERO time with Beloved prior to flopping into bed (at 11:30 ... unfortunately). Hopefully tonight will see me with NO work, and we can .... talk. Or something. Tomorrow night is his night to go out and do manly things, so I won't get to see him then. Thursday night he works in the evening, and I won't get to see him much then, either.

So, that's the home front.

Also, I want to see a movie. But I can't. Anyone out there who is contemplating children - take note! My oldest is TEN!!! And I *still* can't go see a movie.

Labels: home, parenting

posted by Zuska @ 9:47 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

mmmmmmmmmm

that's about all the energy i have right now.

But I do have enough energy to say that this news made me so happy. I don't know if it's my exhaustion, or what, but I read this post 2 hours ago, and I'm STILL getting teared up thinking about it, I am so happy for my fellow blogger.

my ipod is playing a favorite song of mine from the year that i left my ex. it's alanis morissette's "That Particular Time" - it never got radio time, that I know of, but it was so perfect for the end of that marriage. For the most part. Mostly the refrain (I think that's what it's called ... the part that starts with "I always wanted for you what you wanted for yourself" ..)

the point of this post? Solstice is kicking me in the ass. It's my own damned fault, and I feel like e., b/c I keep telling myself, "oh well, that's me. That's Zuska. There's nothing I can do about it in order to make it better next year. I am just not CAPABLE of starting projects early - of getting done without cramming at the end." But you know what? This should be a FUN time of year!

Instead, I'm so exhausted I could PUKE. I went to bed after 1, I couldn't get up to go running and that really upsets me, and I'm only done with ONE scrapbook. I haven't even started e.'s.

j.'s, however, ROCKS. Sorry if that's obnoxious, but if someone made that for me, I swear, I would just hug and hug and hug them.

I have to be more careful when I make e.'s:

the books are reminiscent of our time in Berkeley, at the LAST house we lived in. Not their whole lives in Berkeley.

j. only had kindergarten there. We were here for 1st grade. She was pretty young when we left, and didn't have a very difficult transition. While making her scrapbook, I felt like I was building memories for her, and that I could do what I wanted with it. I also could trust that for her, it's a pretty distant memory, and she has built so much more here than she had there.

e. however, is trickier. She was there through 2nd grade, and she had a really hard time leaving. So first of all, her pictures and such tell their own story (where j.'s had more commentary than I think e.'s will need). Second of all, I don't want her to cry when she looks at it. I need to find a way to make it a happy thing, and not a sad, "I miss my old friends" thing. I *think* she has enough distance between now and then at this point, and it will be okay. I do feel that it's a more delicate undertaking.

J.'s, however, ROCKS.

Every year, when I make them things, I love doing it. I love pulling things together, and it looks so good when I'm done. (I thought I posted photos of last year's project, which also came out really well, but now I remember I didn't, b/c they had the girls' names on it -- they were storage boxes. They each got 2 - one for journals and writing, and one for art. I decoupaged some fancy papers and old drawings and such of theirs onto them, and e.'s were very "e," and j.'s were very "j" and I had fun, and loved the final product.)

This year, my favorite thing is stamps. Beloved has 3 alphabets of stamps, and he and the girls have a lot of others. I was a little leery about doing a "scrapbook," b/c no offense to those other moms who love "scrapbooking" - but it ain't my thing. I am a shunner of "cutesy" for the most part. I knew that I could make my kids a scrapbook without making them a "Scrapbook." But I wasn't sure how I was goign to pull it off.

The answer? Cool stamps. I'll post some photos tonight, if I have a moment to breathe.

The worst part about my exhaustion and my cramming and my last-minute procrastination mess?

There's no way in HELL that I'm gonna have time to make something for Beloved. No way in HELL.

I have wanted to make him something (a certain something) for 3 years now. Every year, I run otu of time donig the girls' stuff, and don't get to his. This sucks!

But, in some ways, I'm sort of glad ... I wish I could share my idea, but I can't. In the past few days, however, I've thought of a SUPER KICK-ASS refinement of my idea, and when I thought I still had time to make him "something" - I was bummed b/c I didn't have time to collect materials for the SUPER KICK-ASS version. Putting it off means that I can make that other version work.

And I'll just buy him stuff. The girls will yell at me, but you know what? I'm the mother, so be quiet.

I also did laundry last night. 4 loads. And guess what? I did nothing but my own clothes. I was selfish, putting myself first (it was either that, or pull a Britney today .... well, 1/2 a Britney, in that I wouldn't be wearing underwear, but not a Britney, in that I would never be caught dead in a skirt as short as hers, and my private bits would still be covered up - either by tights, or by pants. But still. All my undies were dirty.)

tonight, I do the girls' clothes. Tomorrow night, I do Beloved's.

Oh, woe is me.

now I have actual work to do. Shit.

Labels: holidays, home, housework, solstice

posted by Zuska @ 8:43 AM 0 comments

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Post-Exam Weekend

i ended up downloading Grey's Anatomy, but have not watched it yet. i fell asleep on the couch on Friday afternoon as it downloaded, and have been spending time with the kids since then.

it's been a nice, restful weekend thus far. we went to a pizza party with e.'s soccer team on friday evening, and while e. hung out with other 11 and 12 year olds, j. played with one of their little sisters, and i sat and chatted with moms (one of which i have a history of large amounts of dislike toward, but am trying to get over it, b/c i am no longer the one who is on the verge of middle school). i thought we'd be there for an hour, and instead we were there for two. it was nice, though.

yesterday i brought the girls for haircuts, and they look adorable, then j. had a "playdate" and e. and i drove into downtown (scary!!) to get her the next size cello. it's not only shoes and pants that she is outgrowing.

and then the day was over. whoosh!!

we spent the evening watching Road to Morocco with the kids, and then Gosford Park without. i liked Gosford Park (not that i didn't like the other - but i'd seen it before).

today we have NOTHING planned. NOTHING. we've talked about perhaps going for a walk, and j. likes the idea, but e. does not. we're all still in jammies right now, and i really am not too anxious to change that. i have made my shopping list for a roast i'm making for Tuesday, some muffins i'm making for the girls' "family breakfasts" on wednesday, and for thanksgiving - for which i'm making: mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce.

i think this week's food bill is going to be around $500. jeez.

Labels: cooking, holidays, home, weekends

posted by Zuska @ 11:42 AM 0 comments

Sunday, November 12, 2006

outlining again

this quarter, i only have one exam. it is in "Basic Income Tax" and it is on Tuesday afternoon. I've never had an afternoon exam before. I hope I'm alert enough, and don't want to fall asleep 2 hours in b/c of afternoon drowsiness.

because i only have one exam, and because of the nature of all my classes, i only have one outline to do.

i'm working on it right now.

huh? i'm not? i'm blogging right now? and loading j.'s iPod shuffle, which she's had for almost 2 weeks and i never set up? and counseling e. on how she might complete her project? and cleaning spilled soy sauce off the bottom of the fridge? and shopping for condos and houses which i can't afford?

okay.

i'm about to start outlining for tax.

Labels: home, law school

posted by Zuska @ 1:32 PM 0 comments

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