parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Saturday, April 29, 2006
    school, gym, house, nap, house, dinner, wine
    that's my day. i forced myself out of bed at 7:15 (i usually sleep until 10 on saturdays), and went to school. I worked in a cafe until 10:30, and then went to the gym. Oddly, despite the fact that 1L's have exams this week, and us 2 and 3L's shortly after, our school library didn't open until 9. wtf? 9? the sun comes up at, like, 5!!!

    I spent my work time typing up Fed Courts and Employment law notes that i'd taken throughout the quarter. While it didn't move me forward on my outline, it was nice. It gave me a recap and overview of the courses that refreshed my memory, helped me see themes and policy considerations, and just a general review. it was also nice to be doing work and thinking and moving forward with a wee bit less intensity than is required when i read for class. The fact that Au Bon Pain was playing an alternative sattelite station didn't bother me .... if I was reading, i would be out of my mind with frustration and a need for quiet. The fact that the table next to me was a revolving door of professors on their way to a conference, undergrads babbling about last night's party, and 1L's freaking out about their Contracts exam didn't bother me. I wonder if my needs when reading for class are unusual? I'm not sure, but it made me look forward to being done with school, and being more portable in general.

    Beloved and I had planned to split this day - I would take 1/2 to go to school and make some progress toward exams, and then he would take 1/2 to pursue his own projects and other personal needs (i.e., go to the library and look for more books and CDs, let anyone be thinking something less honorable). When I got home, all hell had broken loose. Thing One's plans had morphed and Thing Two was jealous b/c her sister was getting to go to (basically) a party and then to a friend's and wouldn't be home all day. Beloved wanted to be helpful, and was going to take Thing Two with him to the library so I could have more work time, but Thing Two was insisting that she also needed to call a friend and have a "playdate." [the word bugs me.]

    I had already told Thing Two - if she could work it out with a friend to go over THEIR HOUSE, then okay - but I had things to do in the home in preparation for book group being at our house this month, and I could not have a friend here this weekend. She had two "playdates" already this week, on top of her theater group, softball, and art class. Hello????

    So I turned into groucho mom for a little while b/c of my irritation with her not listening to the MANY talks we've had in the past about 1) this weekend needing to be a bit more home-focused; and 2) WE DO NOT CALL PEOPLE AND INVITE OURSELVES TO THEIR HOMES!!!

    Also, before I left, I had written their chores for the day on the chalkboard in the kitchen that we use for that purpose, and when Beloved pointed out to her taht she had a chore, she came out with one of those "well, mommy didn't say i have to, so i don't have to." and that upset me as well. we do have to walk a line at times due to the fact that beloved is not their biological father ... but he has filled that role in this home for over 2 years at this point. they go to him for things, they ask him for things, they have problem expecting things of him - it is only when it serves their purposes that they pull that trick from their bag, and it's bothersome.

    The strife lasted about 20 minutes. I made up with the child, gave her a hug, told her I loved her (with a reinforcement of what I expect of her), and let her choose waht she wanted to do with her day - stay home with me while I do a full blown cleaning of their room, or go to the library with Beloved. She chose to stay home.

    Beloved brought Thing One to her newspaper meeting, from which she went home with a friend through dinner time, and Thing Two and I stayed home, and cleaned.

    That was hard. For her.

    My kids are freaks. Of course, with a freak for a mother, they have little chance to be other than freaks. but they collect odd things. they like odd things. they like cardboard boxes. They have made a "library" in their bedroom, and it has an elaborate check out system, and it has a "computer" and it has accounts. For some reason, associated with the library, they also had many mailing envelopes - the big 11x17 kind? I am not sure why. but they were a mess, and bulging out from shelves in an ugly way, and i recycled them. Thing Two cried. They also had a very old, very cheap, very covered with stickers lunch box. It seemed empty. I haven't seen them use it in FOREVER, so threw it away. The tears!! The throwing of one upon a bed!! the exclamations that "Just b/c it's ugly doesn't mean you can THROW IT AWAY!!!" Know why? b/c inside was some theater tickets and record-keeping. b/c attached to the library is a THEATER. Thing One and Thing Two's Room Theater. it was payment records and such. she cried. and yelled at me.

    i got their room cleaner, though. i swept, and dusted, and reorganized, and after giving Thing Two the "privilege" of watching a movie, I purged.

    Their room looks great.

    Then I was tired. and I fell to sleep. On the new couch. For about 50 minutes.

    Then I finished their room.

    Then beloved cooked. He made a pasta with sauce, a yummy meat and veggie tomato sauce. It required wine. He got one of my faves from Trader joe's, but only need about 1/3 of the bottle.

    So then I had some wine.

    now the girls want to watch a movie (they just were in the park for an hour playing catch in preparation for softball tomorrow), and I think I'll add more "school" to the end of that above list while they do so with beloved.

    Fun day (sarcasm!!)
    posted by Zuska @ 7:39 PM   2 comments
    Friday, April 28, 2006
    news pieces that took my attention from school
    first of all, there's Georgie looking for more power. damn, that man's HUNGRY!!! I don't trust it. I know that gas prices are high, and for a lot of people in the United States, that poses a hardship. I thank the universe as of late that I am instead pedaling and Zipcar-ing around my corner of the world, instead of being required to fit a jump in expenses to my already pathetic student budget.

    But I worry that Georgie's request to Congress for MORE POWER has some nefarious purpose. That they'll grant the power and then miraculously, the oil companies will find ways to lower the prices at the pump, and the POWER will be used for evil instead of good. Perhaps something like, "oh, we can't require the car companies to engineer more fuel efficient cars, b/c that would take away from their power to REINVEST their profits into alternative fuel!" and we would see the pathetically low standards sink even lower.

    (who, me? a conspiracy theorist? who knew)

    In the same article linked to above, Georgie did use the "reinvestment" argument as a reason why the Oil Companies cannot be "taxed" on their ridiculously huge profits. Hmmm. The way he is talking, you wouldn't know that the oil companies are actually given tax BREAKS already. he feels that we can appeal to the oil companies' "good will" to realize that we need new technology, and they need to start reinvesting in alternative energy sources.

    but they're OIL companies!!

    And, in the meantime, the other side of his mouth is asking for more refineries to be built. All we need to do is get rid of some pesky "regulations." (i.e., environmental standards.) Part of why this is happening, after all, is b/c we haven't built any new refineries since the 1970's. [same article]

    how many mixed messages can there be coming from one man?

    And what is UP with this stupid $100? This is nothing but a token meant to shut people up. Not that people are listened to in the first place. So, beloved and I will each get $100. we don't have cars!!! we don't buy gas!!! and those people who do, their $100 will be gone in like, a WEEK!!! what a waste.

    In local news, a school around here has been dragged over the coals a few times for reading a book about a gay prince who fell in love with another gay prince. Now they're being sued. When I first read the story about the complaints from parents, I groaned inside. I thought for certain that there would soon be the story of the new ban on reading books with gay characters, b/c the officials would undoubtedly capitulate to the raging foaming at hte mouth conservative parents. I was thrilled yesterday to read that no! that's not what is happening. The principal has been holding her ground and defending the school's position. I applaud her.

    And finally, the girl from Harvard who is being accused of lifting words and passages from another book. Her book was pulled off shelves today. Beloved sent me the link, b/c he's been fascinated by the story. Lyco mentioned the other day on her blog, and I fully agree with her, that this is a GIRL. Not a woman. She's 19 now, but she was 17 when all of this happened. 17!!! I have always thought that the pressure put on high school students to determine the path of their lives (i.e., the college decision) is just too much. There's too much at stake for such undeveloped minds.

    Odd to have this so close on the heels of the Million Little Pieces story. i do think it is more serious to have copied out of someone else's books - if that is what happened.

    I read the book the Life of Pi by Yann Martel a few years ago, and I really liked it. Beloved told me that there were accusations that the story had been stolen from another book, Max and the Cats. I read Max and the Cats, to see if it was the same. There were "similarities." There was a boy stuck on a lifeboat with a big cat. But Martel's book had this as a central premise, and there was so much more, and it was a really rich story. Max and the Cats had 3 stories about cats, all different, and the part about the boat and the cat wasn't so rich. If Martel got this idea and added to it - thanks! He added a good thing, I think, to the world of stories.

    I don't know what exactly happened with Kaavya. But I'm not going to pass any judgment until I read the two books. and that ain't happening any time soon.
    posted by Zuska @ 3:03 PM   0 comments
    Crunch Time
    Seeing as though I am only attending one law school, I do not know how others do exams.

    Last year, 1L, we had a "reading week" before "exam week." It was really about 4 days, b/c our first exam was often on the Friday of reading week, and then our other exams were Monday and Weds. of the next week. It was a very useful week. It was when I started and completed all of my outlines.

    Now that I'm all grown up as a 2L, i've shifted from semesters to quarters (my school is weird), and we lost reading week.

    How do other schools do it? Do they continue to have a reading week? I really want mine back.

    This was okay in the fall, b/c for me, exam week was just finishing papers and take home exams, with only one sit-down exam (Evidence). This quarter, however, I have Federal Courts and Employment Law, as well as take homes in Administrative Law and Corporations. Administrative Law is a GROUP take home, which of course kind of shrinks the time, b/c I can only work on it as others are available. And since the Corporations exam will much be like pulling out my own teeth, I don't anticipate it going quickly.

    I am really missing reading week. And not having it, I'm freaking out. Exams are May 15th, though. It is HIGHLY unlike me, Zuska, to start stressing a full 2 weeks before an exam. I'm a procrastinator, and a cruncher. But I feel like I need to start NOW. And I am starting NOW.

    Seriously - Fed Courts ends on Thursday. It will be a PACKED class, as they all are, and then the exam is the very next Monday!! That is INSANE!!!

    I'm outlining Employment Law right now, and tomorrow Beloved and I have worked out a schedule wherein I can work on my Fed Courts outline all morning. Then I will go home and clean the girls' room for the sake of book group with Thing Two at our house this week. Such joy and rapture, I cannot even contain myself.

    What a sexxxy weekend!!
    posted by Zuska @ 2:37 PM   1 comments
    Wednesday, April 26, 2006
    baby
    My brother called tonight to say that his wife of 6 weeks is pregnant.

    actually, i first got a call from my sister who said, "did our brother call you?" the answer was no - not as far as i knew. It was 8:30 p.m., and Thing Two and I had just gotten home from Softball practice, where I was miserable, and she was on Cloud 9. It was cold out. She didn't notice, b/c she was running around and sporting iwth her friends. I did notice, b/c I was sitting on the ground reading a law review article on the 11th Amendment. Yee ha. I decided it was too fucking cold, and too fucking miserable to be trudging home at 8:30 at night, and that I was willing, for the rest of the softball season, to pay for a zipcar in order to be a part of a carpool. i had my computer, and my fed courts book, and my corporations book, and my bike. and my dirty, stinky gym clothes. at 8:30. In the cold. Walking many many blocks (potentially miles), and it sucked. Yes, I am still PROUD to be a non-car owner. I am also PLEASED to be a part of a car-share program, and I think that Weds. evenings are my new opportunity to enjoy the benefits of that program. grrr. argh.

    no. the point. forgot for a moment.

    so, sis called and asked if i heard from Mr. Obnoxious. I mean, my brother (seriously, if he one day finds out about this blog, which is highly doubtful, since he's not the computer sort, I will need to go back and edit this blog in such horrid ways). Somehow, when she asked me that, my mind jumped to the concept of money. NOthing specific, just .... money. did he get some? did someone die, and leave him money? did he somehow earn extra money? did he win the lottery? b/c the only thing i could picture my brother seeing as good news was some sort of money. i then thought, "oh, what if something's wrong with mom or dad?" but i realized that sis wasn't really in a "something's wrong with mom/dad" kind of mood.

    Me: What?
    Sis: [sister-in-law ... need to think of a name!] is pregnant.
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: Oh.
    Sis: Yeah.
    Me: Is she due on my birthday? [b/c someone from another blog i read is pregnant .... "pg" in the world of internet pregnant people ... and her baby is due on my birthday]
    Sis: No, late december. The 27th or something.
    Me: Oh.

    What I can't help but to think is .... ewww!! that means a Capricorn!! Ex/Schlurg is a Capricorn, and he's pooey!!! In ways that are typical of capricorns! they are bad evil unfeeling and ruthless people.

    so I then got off the phone with sis, b/c i was tired and grouchy from just having walked home in very cold weather and it was 8:30, and I'd been gone from the house for 13 hours. Sis is cool, though, so she just hung up - no hard feelings.

    then i checked voice mail, and sure enough, a message from another kid on the softball team asking if we wanted a ride, concluding the call with, "but I guess I called too late, you guys already left!" and then a message from my brother saying, "hey."

    I hung up the phone. I held it in my lap. I said to my children and my love and my living room: "You are kidding me!! that is wonderful!! I'm so happy for you!!!"

    and then i called my brother back.

    Odd thing, though. Once i spoke to him and ______ (this is not a creative block, a blank line may very well be the best name for her), I wasn't really faking. I started to really be kind of happy that a baby was coming. I started to wish I was a wee closer, so I could smell the baby smell on the little girly-q's head (I think they're gonna have a girl ... perhaps b/c as far as I'm concerned, girls are the only worth while flavor) a bit more often than once every 3 months or so.

    6 months of marriage, though. Even Ex/Schlurg and I were married longer than that when Thing One started to bake. by 6 months. yet, we were also a LOT younger. _____ is 30. Brother is .... god, i never know how old he is. 27? 26? Ex/Schlurg and I were 22 and 24.

    Brother and _____ own a home. They both have JOBS (not enrollment in a law school or Ph.D. program!!). I wonder if _____ will keep working? I don't think my brother can support the mortgage, etc., on his income alone. He's apprenticing with my father for a trade. A lucrative one, but an apprentice .... or perhaps not even a full-blown apprentice yet. I don't think he's making much $$$.

    I asked if my mother punctured his eardrums with her excitement over a new grandchild to [hijack] celebrate. he said that perhaps she was out of shrieks by the time this 4th grandchild was announced, b/c not really. I was surprised. I said that they were going to have to beat her off with a stick once the baby was born - since they live around the corner from her. he said he's hoping that any such magnetism, too, has worn off with the last 3 grandchildren.

    But she's never lived in the same state as her grandchildren (other than when my Things and I lived in her HOUSE for 8 months while Ex/Schlurg lived in London). I told my brother he may do well to install an electric fence around his property. Or else my mother will be there every day. But as Beloved said - she'll still be sending daily emails with the latest AOL link for baby and parenting news. Regardless of any fortress they may build to try and secure some privacy and autonomy.

    I feel like I know of many pregnancies lately. This is by far the one that is closest to me (what can be closer than a sibling?). Fortunately, no baby-envy heart strings are being pulled - only the "I wish I could see the little baby more often than I can while living 2.5 hours away" feeling. That's the most extreme. And the "oh, I remember those days." As in ... the past.

    Amen.
    posted by Zuska @ 11:34 PM   0 comments
    Sunday, April 23, 2006
    Rainy Sunday
    The girls started Softball today. It was a topsy-turvy day, b/c rain was forecast, and it drizzled on and off all morning, and we weren't sure whether we were going or not. Plus, my parents were still here, and we had to coordinate 2 fields on 2 sides of town, limited spaces in cars, and my mother's grooming routines which today included a fuse blowing no less than FIVE TIMES as a result of her heavy-duty hair dryer.

    Thing Two had her first game (oh, sorry, "scrimmage" - it's a non-competitive stage of the league for 2nd and 3rd graders). She was a little wary going in, b/c it turns out that most of the kiddos from her school aren't so interested in Softball, and she was on a team with several girls from other schools (by contrast, Thing Two's team is made up not only of 100% girls from her school, but mostly girls from her class and inner circle of friends).

    However, as soon as she got a bat in her hand, and started throwing and catching the ball, she didn't care WHO she was with. She had a BLAST!! She played pretty well, too, considering it was her first time, and she had absolutely no practice before hand.


    She hit well, she fielded well, and best of all at this age - she paid attention through at her entire time in the field! She's so damned cute, don't you think? When we got home, her glove stayed on, and her ball kept moving. She can't wait to practice, and is thinking of talking to some friends about playing catch at recess during the week.

    Thing One started at the same time that Thing Two ended .... on a field across town. The rain started approximately 35 minutes later. My parents left with Beloved in the zipcar, and Thing Two and I hid in a van with friends while we waited for Thing One's coach to call it for rain.

    We then traded kids around with our friends, and spent the rest of the afternoon on a "playdate." I had the older girls, which is always nice, b/c they just hang out in the bedroom and demand little to nothing. Although they were quite charitable, and let me play Set with them for a while.

    My parents left after dinner, and I actually did homework!! For 2 out of 3 classes, at least. Posted by Picasa
    posted by Zuska @ 10:59 PM   0 comments
    Miss Productivity
    My girly-q's came home Friday. They had a pretty quick trip, and the home coming was rather anti-climatic. They landed, we hugged, we got their bag, we got in a cab, we all 3 got car sick, we got home. beloved came home, made us all tacos, and popped a DVD in the player for a fun (typical) Friday Movie Night. So pretty damned quick, we were back at our routines.

    Saturday, my parents were due to come with a new couch. It's not new. It's something that ended up with nowhere to go between my brother, his new wife, and her parents during his move into his new house, and her parents' move to Hawaii. My parents were given the task of "discarding" the piece of furniture, and I proclaimed myself the most appropriate dumping grounds.

    My dad likes to tease me. He once teased me b/c while he was here, we had to move my couch, and underneath it was a LOT of stuff. coins, pens, pencils, hair elastics, crayons, dust, hair, cat fur, game cards. Stuff like that. he laughed and laughed, and picked on me mercilessly.

    Bringing a new couch into the home means moving the present couch, and chairs, and rugs. And I refused to be teased yet again.

    So my Saturday was spent sweeping, vacuuming, scrubbing, reorganizing, throwing away, re-arranging, and other cleaning-related activities. My parents didn't arrive until almost 8 p.m. I woke at 9:30 a.m. In the 10.5 hours in between, more cleaning happened inside these walls than perhaps has happened since we moved in.

    The best part - my Things. They were so helpful!! I was remembering the days when my mother would declare spring cleaning, and the absolute misery that my siblings and I had to endure as a result. I didn't want to have that kind of day with One and Two, and I worked hard to make it seem fun, and to stay in good enough spirits that they weren't miserable. I think I succeeded, and of that, I am more proud than the gleaming floors, the organized shelves, and the absolute glisten that exists in most of my home. Thing One was a little more surly (she is closer to being a teenager, after all), but I was able to assign her jobs that she enjoyed (i.e., alphabetizing CD's, selecting appropriate books to be brought from her room to the living room), and cracking enough jokes to make hte less pleasant jobs more tolerable (vacuuming the couches and all of their cushions, for example). Thing Two couldn't get enough to do. She dusted and scrubbed and cleaned and organized for quite some time.

    I knew, however, that they needed some time to get outside and run around and play when they started hiding and cowering in corners .....


    So they went to the park (in our backyard) and practiced some batting and throwing in preparation for their opening day of Softball.

    I continued to work, and my parents arrived, and the new couch was put in its appointed place, and I am still reveling in the beauty that is our apartment right now.

    I really needed this. I've been discontented in this house. The girls are getting older, and the two of them sharing a room is getting even older than they are. We have a LOT of stuff, and no one really has anything that they want to part with. I've been wistfully perusing Craigslist on a thrice-weekly basis to dream and drool over 4 and 5 bedroom apartments. But yesterday's purging and cleansing made me appreciate where we are. We have a fun open floor plan, we are settling in more every day, practically, and improving the space we have. We're increasingly smarter with how we use our limited square footage, and our lives seem the richer for it. Being close to my family all the time is NOT a bad thing. It's a good thing.

    The one downside of all of this: I've put so much time and energy into our common areas in the past week or so that it's downright depressing to then walk into my bedroom and all the clutter and mess that results from needing a place to just stash the extra stuff that I can't figure out what to do with. I'm sure, however, that I will be happy to have an outlet for next weekend's study procrastination.

     Posted by Picasa
    posted by Zuska @ 10:43 PM   0 comments
    Friday, April 21, 2006
    Friday Cat Blogging: Why You Should Sit on Furniture in the Proper Way
    A series on Chessie's enjoyment of new furniture in a room recently deprived of a generous smattering of his orange and white fur. (see the clean room? doesn't it look nice? see the new fern? i think we're gonna paint the wall which the couch is against in the near future ... we didn't intend for a white couch to be up against a white wall, but space issues demanded it. so we must un-white the wall.)


    A very cozy new couch. Definitely nap-worthy.


    Is it a dream? Or is my butt sliding?


    Oh, shit, that's no dream!!


    Crap. I guess I should go eat some food:

    Posted by Picasa
    posted by Zuska @ 11:18 PM   1 comments
    Thursday, April 20, 2006
    Law School Rankings & Jobs
    I've been following and participating some in the discussion re public interest - friendly law schools over at Blonde Justice, since my school is really very public interest driven. the discussion included some advice from those saying, "it doesn't matter what you want to do, you should always go to the best school you can get into" (i.e., highest ranked). Another commenter suggested that the better path for someone devoted to public interest work is actually go to the cheapest law school you can get into, and then make up for the lack of prestige and ranking position with internships and performance.

    I write separately to point out that sometimes the cheapest school is going to be that lower ranked school, due to the availability of scholarship money. I believe this applies to many areas of law - I am NOT coming from a public interest perspective. I'm coming from the perspective of "i have two kids to put through college in less than 10 years, and therefore cannot afford to go to the most expensive school."

    The school that I am attending was my safety school, and was considerably lower ranked than all the other schools i applied to and got into. The highest ranked law school I got into was Cornell, as well as a few ranked in the 30's (many of them have now slipped to the 40's). Where I am in school was ranked in the 70's at the time. On paper, I looked better than their average. They wanted to up their average. The result? Scholarship $.

    I (obviously) went to the lower ranked school, got a good chunk of guaranteed scholarship money for all 3 years, and despite the low ranking, I am going to be working this coming summer for a firm that is ranked in the top 25 nation-wide by the Vault, and in the top 100 in many other nation-wide surveys.

    I had a very hard time choosing to go to the lower ranked school. I have spent every year since graduation from my undergrad institution wanting to hide under a rock rather than say where i went to school. I really loved the idea of going to a law school that would impress people. Did I love that idea more than the idea of living in a city that I wanted to live in? Did I love that idea more than the idea of not moving my children every three years? Did I love that more than the idea of having less debt upon graduation so that I can pay if off ASAP and start contributing to a college fund for my kids? Nope. Clearly, nope.

    [i also must state that part of my decision was based on my balance of school and parenting - a lower ranked and notably less competitive school meant to me that i'd have more time to be a mom to my daughters and a partner to my love.]

    When you go to a lower ranked school, locale really plays a huge part in your job placement issue. You can't go to a lower ranked school in San Francisco and hope to get a top job in NY. Not realistically, I do not think. I knew that going in. My Ex went to a 3rd or 4th tier school and his only options were within that state. Outside that state, no one ever heard of the damned school. [he ended up going on and getting a ph.d., and now teaches at a pretty decent school, so even for him, it was far from a death knell.] In San Francisco, we had Golden Gate Law School, and people could work in very prestigious places after graduating from there - IN the bay area. I'm sure I couldn't have taken a degree from that school and gotten a job straight from school at a big name firm here in Boston. I think that's the case for my school, too, although perhaps to a lesser degree, b/c Golden Gate is also a 4th tier school, and my school has an odd pipeline of reputation with the San Francisco Bay Area. and Alaska. Yes, Alaska.

    during OCI, 80% of the firms were from Massachusetts. Do not quote me on this, b/c I also was not interested in applying to the out-of-state, or even out of Boston firms, for the whole "I will not move my kids again" statement from above. The Boston firms hire a lot of people from my school. Not as many as from Harvard, but still, the numbers are NOT insignificant. Neither are the firms. And then if someone gets picked up by a firm that has Boston and other offices, they do have the option of going to other offices, of course depending on the firm.

    I knew it was a risk, and that it would depend on my performance. I knew that I was likely going to be limited to looking at Boston jobs, and that I would be competing against Harvard students as well as BU and BC. But I also had the counterweights of a scholarship, a pull to the area, and a really good vibe from the school.

    As long as all factors are realistically considered, the school's ranking (perhaps better to say the school's notoriety or prestige) should not be the decision-maker. There are times when a lower ranked school has its advantages, financially and otherwise.
    posted by Zuska @ 1:49 PM   4 comments
    More on the slump
    on this lack of motivation to do anything law-related. Today is really only the second day, but it feels horrid. I think that I'm not giving enough credit to the fact that my Beautiful Ones are not home, and I miss them, and I don't like them not being home. Their absence also messes with my routines.

    Today it was so bad - coupled with yesterday being so bad - that i'm home. I didn't go to school. i stared at books and hung shelves instead of reading for today's classes, so i made the decision to stay home and do the reading for the classes instead of attending the classes without having done the reading. And in between reading, spend the time straightening the house for both the girls' homecoming tomorrow afternoon, and my parents' visit on Saturday.

    how productive have i been toward either of those goals? not at all. actually, just posting on my blog is a showing of increased productivity over the past 4.5 hours. I went for a run. at 8. i took a shower. i made coffee. really, that's it.

    This is the first time I have *ever* just stayed home from school. I never skip class. I'm a nerd like that. I just feel so disengaged from school right now, that I felt that it was a good day to stay home. Beloved gave me a funny look when I shared my intentions. I justified myself to him by pointing out the fact that once the girls are home, our old routines are back in place, and there is really no chance of missing ONE DAY of class turning into a trend. He either agreed, or pretended to, and left me alone about my purposeful irresponsibility. well, he did cast a hateful look my way this a.m. while he was dressed in his work garb and i was lounging around in a nightgown.

    So hopefully after I post this, I will be able to continue the uptick of productivity, and create SOMETHING to show for this day. Something. Either some reading, or some cleaning, or some organizing, SOMETHING.

    i miss my girls.
    posted by Zuska @ 1:18 PM   0 comments
    nesting, almost 2 years later.
    i am in such a slump right now, it is unbelievable. i just don't have it in me to work --- at ALL. I sat and stared blindly at my books for an hour yesterday. Or more. the book was open, it was on my lap, but the pages were not turning.

    i used the lack of law-related drive to do some refurbishing in my bathroom. we have 2 bathrooms in this apartment - one belongs to beloved and the cats, and one belongs to the girls and i. I most definitely got the good end of that bargain. First of all, the girls don't dig in cat litter and spray tiny clay pellets all over the place. second of all, the girls have not demolished a roll of toilet paper since their toddlerhoods (which was what? 45 years ago?) third of all, the girls don't shave, and leave little hairs all over the sink. fourth of all, the girls are starting to do chores. sometimes, their chores include sweeping the bathroom floor, or perhaps wiping down the bathroom sink, emptying the bathroom garbage, cleaning the bathroom mirrors. ahhhhhh.
    so i decided it would only be FAIR if i took a turn cleaning the place, with them several hundred miles away and all. I used some heavy-duty cleaners (they use non-toxic orange cleaner when they do the sink), and i scrubbed the floor on my hands and knees (something they've NEVER been required to do), and i put up the shelves that i stained, and i put down the new rug, and i put in the new shower curtain!! Why waste time staring at law books when you can be so PRODUCTIVE??? The new shelves look GREAT, in my humble opinion, and i put them up all by myself, even though it required a drill, a hammer, a level, a screwdriver, and various other tools and such. if i couldn't do something as simple as hang bathroom shelves, i would be a disgrace to my father and sister. and brother.

    but then i was sad, b/c there was another wall, which was empty, and it looked lonely. And I wanted something to hang on it NOW. I get like that. Hugely impatient. I have a very cool Hindu poster that I've been wanting to hang for years, and I thought perhaps when beloved and I go to bed, bath and beyond tonight for a new garbage pail among 600 other things, i could get a frame. but that didn't qualify as "now" - that qualified as "tomorrow night."




    And perhaps it's ridiculous of me to consider such things, but all I could think of was how offended my parents would be to come on Saturday (bringing us a couch which they have no use for) and find a Hindu goddess on my bathroom wall. They've been known to hide [and sometimes throw onto the floor] statues of Buddha at both mine and my sister's home. Guaranteed it was my father, and not my mother.

    So I sat on the couch, and stared at a book again. I even read 2 whole pages - highlighter and all. but then I remembered a puzzle that the girls and I assembled and glued some time ago, with intentions to hang in the hallway, and i thought - hmmm, that would actually go better in the bathroom!!!!

















    And so, despite my slump, i felt very productive. and i like my bathroom. i kept pretending i had to pee, just so i could go back in, and revel in the new-ness of it all.

    posted by Zuska @ 1:03 PM   1 comments
    because the sun is shining and the birds are chirping
    i give you my favorite summer time recipe (which YES, i have made myself at least once):

    Sweet Potato and Ginger Salad
    Serves 4; total time 45 minutes

    2½ lb sweet potatoes
    1 tbl olive oil
    2 tbl orange juice
    1 tbl ginger, finely grated
    2 teas Dijon mustard
    3 scallions, thinly sliced

    Preheat oven to 475 degrees. Peel and cut 2½ lbs of sweet potatoes into ¾-inch chunks. Toss with olive oil, salt and pepper and on a baking sheet, roast until tender, about 35 minutes.

    In a large bowl, whisk together orange juice, 1 tbl oil, ginger and mustard. Add scallions and potatoes. Toss to coat with dressing.

    _______________________________

    I absolutely LOVE this salad, and could probably eat it every night.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:33 AM   1 comments
    Wednesday, April 19, 2006
    head in the clouds
    i am very busy. or rather, i have a lot to do. i need to do school things, and i need to do home things, and i need to do some extra-curricular things that i've picked up along the way (i.e., a research assistantship and a project for My Judge).

    This post, however, is about none of those things.

    It's about books. Fiction books.

    I just listened to another audio book while working out and cycling to and from school. It was "Ya Yas in Bloom" - the third book in the whole Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood group. I read the first one years and years ago. The second one, about a year later. I would say that was at least five years ago.

    I was really nervous that after the Cloud Atlas experience, I would find the new Ya Yas to be rather trite, and mind numbingly inane.

    Not the case. It was wonderful. The person who read the book had a wonderful voice/accent (the books are set in central Louisiana) for the characters, and i was lost to it within the first 2 minutes. All of the characters came rushing back immediately. For those who do not know the stories, the Ya Ya books are a very odd mix of family goodness and family badness. The goodness is about fun and bonds and comfort and laughter. The badness is about alcoholism, Catholocism and abuse like you wouldn't believe. In some places, it was downright hard to stomach.

    But this third one was all the good, and none of the bad (I swear to god, that sentence was just in my head with a southern accent ... as was THIS one). It made me tear up on several ocassions - all from a severe case of the warm fuzzies, not from sadness. I laughed out loud more times than i can count while riding the bike and sweating like mad on the treadmill.

    It was fun, but now it's over, and I need to find something new to entertain myself during these "down times" that I have.

    In other make-believe land news - I have been re-reading the Mists of Avalon at bed time, which I read with my mother the year that Thing One was born. She was home (in CT) stuck in bed after back surgery, and I was home (in CA) with my newborn and her non-existent father, and we decided to read this together. This book is the most ringing endorsement for Paganism that I'd ever read in my life, and it's very odd to remember that mom and I read it at the same time.

    in real world news -- i am right now typing up some Fed Courts notes (not exactly outlining yet), and doing laundry. I am also staining those shelves we bought for my bathroom. I will shortly go for a quick bike ride to pick up some potting soil for new plants beloved and i bought on sunday, and planters for some flowers the girls set up before they left. then i will come back home, and do more school work.
    posted by Zuska @ 2:22 PM   0 comments
    Monday, April 17, 2006
    Outlining, the beginning of a journey.
    So, it appears that now that I'm almost done with my 2nd year of law school, I've left behind my love of outlining and outlines, and entered Procrastination Mode. Now Days that I've previously designated at the Start of the Outlining Process are morphing into days of munching on whatever food can be found, internet perusal, home improvement projects, and IMing with my mother [a true sign of desperate procrastination].

    In all honesty, i'm not sure how much of a change it really is. last year, we had more time for exams, while being coddled as 1Ls, and an entire week with no classes and no exams - which I was able to devote myself 100% to outlining.

    Now i'm on the stupid quarter system. I've only been in school for 1 month and 11 days!! and we're sailing past the 1/2 way mark on the syllabi, and exams will be over in one month and 2 days.

    I got up early this a.m. (7:30, which is very early when you consider that not only do I not have classes today, but my children are far away for a few days, and I could have slept until 10. or later). I left the house around 8, and I went to the gym for a nice solid work out. Then I went to the library, and I read Fed Courts for tomorrow. Then I came home at 1, and have the spent the past 90 minutes doing N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

    Well, I did open up Word. and I opened the document that was my corporations notes (before i went to hand writing). perhaps once i push "publish post" i will walk across the room to fetch my notebook, and start typing up my notes from the past 3 weeks.

    Or, perhaps, i will instead spread out some newspaper on hte floor, open a can of stain, and go to work on the shelves i bought at IKEA yesterday for my bathroom, above my toilet.

    eeny meeny miney mo
    posted by Zuska @ 2:56 PM   0 comments
    Sunday, April 16, 2006
    Faith in America
    drats, beloved and i just nestled in to watch our weekly Meet the Press, and they are doing a "special edition" on Faith in America. One of those touchy subjects of mine, and I'm not that thrilled that I don't get to hear about the whole "Rumsfeld is God" campaign that I just read about.

    It does bring up a slightly strange but yet not strange feeling I have in the fact that it is Easter this a.m., and for me, that really means nothing.

    ________________________________

    well, i brought the girls to the airport yesterday. they safely landed in the middle of the country, and now I have a childless 5 or 6 days. The airport trip is never fun. The girls are always less than thrilled about the trip, and that makes them overly clingy (Thing One) or bratty (Thing Two). This is a very short trip, though, and they will be fine.

    Beloved and I went out to dinner after the airport at a very yummy Vietnamese restaurant here in town, and then came home and watched Audrey Hepburn's debut - Roman Holiday. It was very cute. We had a nice evening.

    This a.m. I started my week's endeavor: Catching up with classes I fell behind in this past week, and starting outlining. Corporations comes first. Yee ha. I have read approx 20 pages this a.m. I was supposed to wake "early" and then work until Meet the Press comes on (it's a ritual for Beloved and I), and then we're off to IKEA and REI and Bed, Bath and Beyond in pursuit of an Organized Home. REI seems like a strange place to go for home organization, but they have a bike rack. Our bikes are currently just slumped up against the wall, protruding into the kitchen area, and making for a sloppy little corner of the house. We are going to get a rack, where they can be one atop the other.

    Then we'll come home, and I'll work. Tomorrow is a day off for most of Boston -- they call it "Patriot's Day" but it's also the Boston Marathon. Beloved's company, however, does not give it off. They don't really give ANYTHING off. If he had vacation or personal days, he could use them, and that is what he did last year. It was our first year in the city, and we walked the length of the marathon in our town (our main street is the main path of the race through this area). We had a really fun day, and it was especially nice in the midst of my 1L year, when free time was scarce.

    This year, however, I'm in a quarter system (1L is semesters, then 2L and 3L are quarters), I don't have a reading week to do outlines, and Beloved is not taking the day off. So while the rest of the world (or this part of it) is about 5 blocks away with food vendors and flags and cheering fans, I will be shut up in my home, outlining Corporations.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:20 AM   0 comments
    Friday, April 14, 2006
    sometimes, my head spins.
    I saw this at Angry Pregnant Lawyer, and thought it was right up my alley ... Lists, yummy. It is similar to one I'd done in the past, but just different enough for me to justify playing.

    20 Years Ago I...

    1. Was getting ready to graduate from 8th grade.
    2. Had a crush on Brandy Kearns.
    3. Got my first perm as a reward for a good report card.

    10 Years Ago I...
    1. Was living in Alabama, and was 4 months pregnant with my first child.
    2. Was working as a legal secretary in a large {relatively} firm in Birmingham.
    3. Was trying out an Episcopal church with my then-husband, b/c the Baptists were on our nerves - but just couldn't fathom a church that condoned homosexuality.

    5 Years Ago I...
    1. was working out approximately 3 hours a day, seven days a weekand looked rather good,
    2. was absolutely oblivious as to how much my life would change within the next 6 months (i.e., marriage falling apart)
    3. Was living in student housing in Berkeley, California where my husband, daughters and I had approximately 650 sf to share.

    1 Year Ago I...
    1. Was freaking out about exams after my first year of law school.
    2. Was making the decision to Teach a Class in the fall of my 2nd year of law school.
    3. Saw my first Boston Marathon from a spot approximately 7 blocks from my home, and had a Kenyan runner collapse at my feet, a mere 1.[something] miles from the finish line.

    So Far This Year I...
    1. Have finally gotten back to the gym.
    2. Saw an accupuncturist about my miserable complexion, and had very positive results.
    3. Have really enjoyed my children's rapid maturing and increasing independence and personality developments.

    Yesterday I...
    1. Went to Class.
    2. Received a box of CANDY from my Summer Firm, despite the fact that I'd rather not be eating the crap.
    3. Read aloud with my daughters (each in turn) for the first time in weeks.

    Today I...
    1. Spent hours in a bookstore with my daughters.
    2. Worked out for 1.2 hours.
    3. Enjoyed a beautiful 70 degree day both riding my bike to/from school, and walking around my quaint little town with the kids.

    Tomorrow I will ...
    1. Do approx. 6 loads of laundry.
    2. Take my kids to the airport to visit their father for about a week
    3. Have dinner out with Beloved (although we haven't discussed this yet).
    posted by Zuska @ 5:43 PM   0 comments
    Friday Cat Blogging II -- Mom's Home!!
    What? We weren't fighting! We were cuddling!!



    Don't mind the narrowing of the black kitty's green eyes, she really was just being a peaceful little beast, curled up in a chair, as innocent as can be:


    And as always, he's just miserable with the boredom that is his life. "don't talk to me about life."

     Posted by Picasa
    posted by Zuska @ 5:24 PM   0 comments
    Friday Cat Blogging - Continuation of a Theme
    E.McPan has inspired me - I had these cat photos stuck on my digital camera for a short while, but seeing the Fight Club over at Kiss My Grits forced me to hunt down my cable. [don't you think our orange kitties match?] This is before the little girl got her guts cut out:






    She may be small, but she can pack a punch!!! Posted by Picasa
    posted by Zuska @ 5:20 PM   2 comments
    I'm never eating a fast food restaurant again!!
    I took the kids to the bookstore today in order to buy some "treats" for Spring-like holidays. We bought a LOT of books. I had said I would get them each a couple books - but we walked away with four for each of them, and 2 for me.

    Thing Two got engrossed in a book called Chew on This which is a kids' version of Fast Food Nation. I perused Fast Food Nation a few years ago, and saw just enough to make me draw my light and semi-erasable line about fast food restaurants into a thick, bold sharpie line. I told the things at the time why we don't eat fast food anymore, and they haven't complained or begged, and often will protest if we find ourselves on a road trip with a short-list of options.

    Anyway, Thing Two is reading it in small batches b/c she is being made nauseous. The girls are wandering around saying, "there is poop in the meat!" [direct quote from the book.] This is the first time the kids have purposefully bought a non-fiction book, and I love that they're really enjoying it.

    I bought my own copy of one of my favorite books of all time, Blindness, by Jose Saramago, and Queen Bees and Wannabes - a book about girls and their social world, and the kinds of arguments that they get in. I guess you can call it a parenting book. There is another book called Odd Girl Out, which is along the same lines that i'm interested in, but they were out of it. Last year, I felt that I had one Queen Bee, and one Odd Girl Out. Now this year, things are all turned around, and I think that both my girls are just fine.

    Now Thing Two is reading, and Thing One is .... um, sewing. I have no freaking CLUE whose daughter she is. She is doing one of her 'projects' - wherein a box that i received in the mail yesterday is being turned into a fairy house, and she making a bed for the fairy, out of some fabric from an old pair of pants which she is stuffing with styrofoam.

    And I am blogging. Beloved is coming home a wee bit early, and we have nacho and movie night planned for this eve of the girls' departure to the Middle of the Country for the better part of a week.
    posted by Zuska @ 5:00 PM   1 comments
    assumptions
    Today in Administrative Law, we were looking at a case for the purpose of how much bias is permissible during rulemaking proceedings. The case was about this situation in 1980 wherein there was an attempt to put regulations on children's advertising. The Commissioner of the FCC had made public statements that advertising that is directed at children is evil. The Court said that it didn't matter, and a little bias was fine, and that since he was making rules, his function was similar to that of a legislature, and no one would ever say that a legislator couldn't enter a debate on a bill with a position already staked out.

    one of my classmates contributed the comment that well, of course no one in this classroom was impacted in ANY WAY by advertising toward children, I mean, of course we find it easy to just dismiss this issue and say "oh, bias, who cares," b/c it doesn't affect law students [and then some blah blah blah about how if it was about women's reproductive rights, we'd care, and so bias is bad, even if we don't care about this little issue.]

    I found that odd. To just make this blanket statement as to what *everyone in the room* cared about or did not care about - what affects people, what does not.

    really, i didn't see her point. perhaps she's not aware, not having children, how little of an impact this dude's bias had on the issue. as in - zip, zero zilch. Advertising targeted at children is thriving, and i'm sure that what the man perceived as "evil" has done nothing but increase.
    posted by Zuska @ 4:55 PM   0 comments
    The $100 Fed Courts Class
    We had a "make up" class today for Fed Courts. We have not missed any classes, so it's a bit unclear what we were "making up" - apparently, the professor made a typo on the syllabus, and numbered two classes with the same number, which meant (to her) that we had to have a make up class, or else we'd run out of classes.

    On any other Friday, a make up class would not be a problem. I only have one class on Fridays, from 8:30 to 10 a.m. Then I typically go to the gym, and then try and get the next week's reading done until I need to pick up the girls from their after school program. But *today* - with the convergence of religious holidays, the girls had no school, and no after-school program.
    I had thought of dragging them to Administrative Law with me, and then just going home. They found that intriguing, since they want to know what law school is like (poor kids). But that was before I also had Fed Courts.

    My babysitter was fortunately free, so she came and played with the girls while I was in class. She arrived at 8, so that I could make my 8:30 class, and left at 2, since Fed Courts ended at 1:20. Total cost: $90.

    Damn!!!
    posted by Zuska @ 4:43 PM   2 comments
    Thursday, April 13, 2006
    Book Recommendation
    I have found (or re-discovered) that while working out at the gym, I like to listen to books on tape. it used to be on CD, now it's on iPod. Never really on tape.

    The book I just listened to was absolutely phenomenal, and I'd like to recommend it. It is called Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. It had caught my eye some 2 years ago, but then I had to go and start stupid law school, and couldn't read. I even checked it out on disk before, but didn't like the voice of the reader. Then my very good friend A in CA recommended it to me - so I checked it out again. She said it was a "puzzle of a book" and it was. It was great.

    I did have to work through a nasty voice, but you get used to it. It took me 2 weeks to listen to the entire book (16 disks at over an hour each), and I am LONELY for it now that it is over. LONELY.

    I can't say too much about it without ruining it - and I want people to read it. I will say that I went after the fact and checked out the Amazon reviews, and was astonished to find that one of the more irritating parts for me {as a listener, not a reader} was the absolute favorite part for most reviewers {readers, not listeners} - so I do recommend reading it. But for those, like me, who are in law school, and have no time to read, listening while commuting or working out at the gym is a nice alternative.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:53 PM   0 comments
    No, I have not won the superbowl
    I am feeling better than I was in my last post. We fell behind at least one class on the syllabus in 2 classes, so my 2 classes behind is is now only one, and I feel that I can catch up without too much pain. I got to the gym today, and had a nice workout.

    I was upset, however, when I showed up to find MY stairmaster gone, and some NEW stairmaster in its place. I like that it has a heart rate thingy on it, but I don't like having to figure out new levels and such. It wasn't so bad, though.

    beloved and i have been doing (at least) 2 things: 1) Figuring out some re-organization of the joint; and 2) Way pre-planning our September trip to a Disney Resort.

    1) i am feeling some pressure to get things patched up in the house - things we've put off, etc., b/c I am having Thing Two's bookgroup here in a couple of weeks (eeeek! aghhhh!!) Just little things (for the most part) - like we're looking for a contraption to hang our bikes up on so they're not jutting into the kitchen all the time. The Things are gone this coming week, and we have a zipcar, and we plan to go to IKEA (we're getting a new coffee table - the one we have right now is one that we literally found on the side of the street on Christmas Eve 2 years ago, and since we had plans to do a puzzle on Christmas Eve Day, we grabbed it. It's really .... not perfect), and perhaps REI to get the bike thing.

    2) approx 2 years ago, beloved and I planned a trip to southern CA with the Things (we lived in Berkeley). We told them that we were really sick of our futon as a couch, it was hurting our backs, and we therefore needed a new couch. We told them there was a place down in Southern CA from which we could buy a couch, and so we were going away for the weekend in order to pick and purchase a couch. They just accepted it. why Thing Two accepted that we were going COUCH SHOPPING on her 6th birthday is beyond me. When we picked them up from school in a regular 4-door sedan, Thing One had the momentary wherewithall to ask where the HECK we were going to fit a couch, but when we told her we were having it delivered -- duh! she (again) accepted that.

    We drove 6 hours to Southern CA, and into our hotel parking lot while the kiddos were asleep. The next a.m., we got them dressed, and I went out by myself to get some Egg McMuffins for the group of us, and after we ate, we crossed the street, walked under MANY signs that less gullible children would have noticed {proficient readers, hello!} and had to AT THE VERY GATE tell the girls, "we are at Disneyland! We are not going couch shopping! Happy Birthday Thing Two!"

    Honestly, they did not believe us!! They were looking around all befuddled. I remember when Thing One finally believed it, she was so hysterical with surprise. It was a lot of fun.

    We know we can't do that again. I think they'll forever be wary of us from now on. But we promised that we'd go back when they were 8 and 10, and that it would be for Thing One's bday this time. Last time, they were kind of little (6 and 8), and they were too scared of Splash Mountain (I almost thought about getting a DNA test, at that point). They weren't tall enough for all the rides, and Thing Two was pretty sensitive, and was scared of the Pirates of the Carribean. We had a fantastic time, and more than enough to do, but we knew that in a couple years, things would be even MORE perfect.

    And thanks to my summer employment, we are able to make good on that promise. We will be flying to Disneyland in September. I am boycotting Florida for the rest of my life, and Beloved grew up in Land's backyard, and so --- we're going cross country instead of just southward to World. I got a bee in my bonnet that we needed to have a budget estimate, so that I can be wise with this summer's money (as if I am *ever* wise with money), and so we started looking around at hotels and restaurants and car rentals and airfare. We're excited now. Too bad it's 5+ months away!!!
    posted by Zuska @ 10:52 PM   0 comments
    Wednesday, April 12, 2006
    struggling for air
    last night i dreamed two kid-related dreams. one was that my daughters had a friend over (actually thing 2's friend, but they all get along well, and the friend has older siblings who are both friends with thing 1), and they all decided, while i was still asleep in bed, to make mochas. i knew that they were doing this, i heard their conversations - they were going to make hot chocolate and coffee, and mix them together. my dream self had no issue with this until i realized that they'd be mussing with my coffee, and then i sprang out of bed to make sure they didn't mess up my Organic Starbucks coffee, which is very yummy. i found that they had properly read the instructions, and had put in the proper amount of grounds, and the only mistake they made was forgetting to put any water in the pot.

    then while telling thing 2 about this funny dream this a.m., i made myself coffee, and did the very thing i was laughing about. so the pot did that thing it does [perhaps i'm the only one who knows this ....] when you put water in when the thing's already started heating - it puffs steam into the dry grounds, and they sort of explode inside the filter a little bit.

    the kids didn't have that problem in the dream.

    but the second dream was harder. the ex had decided that after their visit in april, he would not be returning them to me. that i have had primary custody for long enough, and he was keeping them. for some time during the dream, i was resigned to this fact, b/c someone was going to kill me, and i knew i would be dead, so it probably was not something i could stop - his pirating of the children.

    but then i decided that 1) i would not allow myself to be killed, and 2) the hysteria and misery and lack of air that i was experiencing at the prospect of losing my daughters was more than i could bear, and i told him through hiccups, hyperventilation and absolute pain in my chest that he was NOT keeping the children, that he had no right to whatsoever, and that b/c of our agreement which was filed with the court if he tried to do it, i would call the police and have him arrested.

    he said okay, he'd send them home.

    upon waking the suffocating reality that is my life hit me again. i'm having a really bad week, school-wise. going away last weekend is my scapegoat, but i'm not sure that's really the issue. i don't often have weekends full of work and studiousness. perhaps it's just that mid-quarter plateau, perhaps it's just the coincidence (and the typical one) of lots of "extras" converging at once. the trial that i've been working on with my judge happened last week, and i have 3 days of trial transcripts to read, and have to go meet with him this afternoon (taking away a FIVE HOUR chunk of study time I usually have); we have an "extra" fed courts class on friday b/c Monday is "Patriots Day" and therefore no school - which means 50 more pages of reading this week; we had a midterm group project for administrative law, which took away my Friday afternoon reading time and my Monday afternoon reading time; the girls have no school on Friday, so after this extra fed courts class, i need to rush home - again, taking away my usual FIVE HOUR chunk of reading time. so i have lost about 20 hours of reading time in one week's time - and it has nothing to do with having gone away for the weekend.

    I gave up 2 of my usual gym days this week in order to attempt to catch up. I don't know why I bother - it's not like I'm caught up. I have been loving my gym time, and I have results! Hopefully I can avoid missing any of that time next week - if i can catch up with reading this weekend (HOW???) or on Monday, since there's no classes (and the girls will be in the middle of the country).

    if course i realize that as much as i complain about being *so* busy and *so* behind .... i find time to blog. i'm not blogging, i'm processing! i need to process, or else i will go insane.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:24 AM   0 comments
    Monday, April 10, 2006
    starting out with a deficit
    I don't know why it seems like a good idea to go away for the weekend sometimes. It's actually not a good idea. yet i keep doing it. it has been a while since our last trip, and that may be why i was deluded into thinking it would be "fun" or "relaxing."

    We got back home late last night - around 9:30 or 10 (which is late when you have kids and 50 pages of Fed Courts left to read). I read for a couple hours (got 1/2 way through), and spoke with my sis, who was having a hard time with some things, and then suffered from "it's midnight, and i'm wide awake"-itis. Typical for me on a Sunday night, and even more typical when I've only been home for 2.5 hours.

    So I was up until 2, and then slept like crap until 6:30, and now am exhausted. then i remembered that i have a research meeting at 10 today, and i had meant to do some of that research over the weekend - it's why i brought my computer to my parents' house. But I didn't do any, and I can't show up to the meeting empty handed, so I skipped Corporations (oh, can you hear my heart breaking???)

    Fortunately, the research went well. Westlaw pulled through for me, and I found the appropriate key number for my issue and was able to instantly find dozens of cases in all 4 jurisdictions that i am responsible for. i'm not *done* - b/c I haven't read any of the cases, but I know they exist, and I know the shortcuts, and that's good.

    but usually over the weekend i try and get my reading done for Monday and Tuesday, b/c I have virtually no time in between the two - but with going to my parents' - that didn't happen. i really don't know when i will get stuff done.

    i hate this. i feel like hte week is just a write-off, and i should just forget even TRYING.

    But alas, i will try. the girls are going away next week for some time with the ex, and i will have some time to re-coop and to start outlining. so if i can limp through this week, all will be well.

    the problem is - i really feel like i need to SLEEP. like i am incapable of limping along without sleep.

    sleeeeeeeeeppppp.
    posted by Zuska @ 9:22 AM   0 comments
    more on my "attitude" as it relates to my Love
    beloved read my post on my mom and her view that i intimidate my sister-in-law, and his agreement that yes, i have an "overwhelming personality" and was concerned that i left the wrong impression. sort of the impression that HE finds me intimidating, which i never meant to convey. a bit more explanation:

    beloved has MORE than what it takes to confront any attitude or overwhelmingness or strength in me. not squelch, but confront. In the fall, some other law student women and I were talking about relationships, and how hard it is to have a truly 50/50 relationship - where there isn't a dominant and a submissive personality, but a true equality. How there are likely more struggles, and the need for more relationship-maintenance effort. I know that I have that sort of relationship -- beloved and I are truly a 50/50 pair (although I currently believe that we've gone through a lot of the effort and are in a very beautiful stride right now). but as i told this other woman, part of our success may be based in the fact that he's willing to allow me the illusion of 60/40 (tipped in my favor), but if I try even to push for 61% .... he's gonna yank back, and he's gonna assert the 50/50 reality.

    If it is true, that I am intimidating, or overwhelming, then it is also true that apples don't fall far from the tree. my daughters have absolutely NO compuncture about standing up to me, arguing with me, calling me on my bullshit, or otherwise letting me know that I'm not raising any dummies. Thing One may be a bit stronger in this area than Thing Two (and sometimes, Thing One is on the verge of too strong, and needs to be reigned in), but they both have it.

    I know that sometimes, it's hard for women to deal with being branded a "strong personality." How many places have I read about this? But as a mother, I am pleased that my daughters are learning to negotiate a relationship with someone who MAY be on the stronger side of the personality spectrum. I'm pleased that while 30 year old sister-in-laws may be reduced to tears [i think the chick needs to go to a dr. about her PMS issues, but whatever] with thinking that I don't 'approve' of her, a 9 year old can roll her eyes at me and say, "Mom, sometimes you're really annoying." MY 9 year old.

    And my beloved is no different than that 9 year old, or that 7 year old (who may perhaps be more of a foot-stomper than an eye-roller, but she still can come back at me with retorts and arguments). He draws his lines, and he sticks to them - and I respect them, for the reason that I know that he sticks to them. He will be understanding, he will be compassionate, he will be forgiving, but he will not taken advantage of, and he will not be mistreated. and to me, that's security. it's security that i will not become my mother; that i will be kept in check, i will have someone who helps me to be the person i want to be (loving, kind, patient, and above all, respectful), without squelching the same thing - the person i want to be (strong, unmovable, capable, and perhaps even in my own way, powerful) - the person i am.

    i am grateful for my beloved, in so many ways. i am grateful that he sticks up for me (sometimes even against my own behavior), and that he sticks up for himself. i am grateful that he does not think that any strength in me equals weakness in him. i am grateful that he does not think that my being a woman puts in me into one category, and his being a man puts him into another. i am grateful that he's given so much to our relationship, and our life together (including the two Things who he is constantly giving and giving and giving to), and i only hope that i'm giving back in equal measure.
    posted by Zuska @ 12:26 AM   0 comments
    Sunday, April 09, 2006
    parenting while in law-school
    A fellow law school mom has posted some advice for other parents on their way to law school. Mother In Law is a part-time student somewhere in the middle of the country - as opposed to my full-time-ness. She is a 1L, as opposed to my 2L-ness.

    Mother In Law is much more organized than I am, and I think she does a heck of a lot more cooking!! I also remain totally skeeved by the idea of cutting a book. yikes!! I will admit to the huge burden of carrying all that stuff to and from school - at one point, i thought that law school had started to induce heart failure, when in fact, i had just seriously pulled a shoulder muscle. But right now, I'm trying an experiment of leaving the laptop at home, and it's going pretty well, so I think I'd condone that practice before I'd consider hurting my babies. I mean, cutting my books. (same thing, right?)

    I had posted on how I manage to study and be a mom here.
    posted by Zuska @ 11:50 PM   2 comments
    Saturday, April 08, 2006
    student bloggers wanted
    as i recently shared, my school kind of freaked me out re: blogging with a post warning us of the ills of blogging.

    now, a mere 10 days later, there is another post on our bulletin board - the admissions office wants to HIRE people to blog about their day-to-day activities - in class and on co-op - for PAY!!! so that prospective students can see what it's like during a typical day of a law student at this school.

    Is this what it means to be talking out of both sides of one's mouth?

    One of the oddest things to me is that it seems like the stuff they want to PAY people to talk about is the very stuff that I purposefully stay away from - for the sake of being fair to classmates, for the sake of oh, lawyer-client privilege and confidentiality issues.

    i certainly have no interest in the endeavor - which is probably good, since "today i went to class, and then the library, and then class, and then the library, and then the gym, and then the library, and then to pick up my child from her activity, and then home to relieve my babysitter, and then i had dinner with my man and children, and then i played a game with my kids, and then i did laundry, and then i read a book to my kids, and then i cleaned the kitchen, and then i read more for school" is hardly the kind of stuff that will bring people to our school.
    posted by Zuska @ 11:11 PM   0 comments
    From my parents' house
    Visiting my parents with the girly-q's and beloved. it's going alright. we went to see Ice Age 2 tonight. beloved and i had a solo trip to IKEA earlier (a trip full of light bulbs, batteries, and other petty miscellaneous objects - also consisting of wandering around the model kitchens, thinking about our future kitchen in our future house which looks farther and farther off in the future as we look at home prices in our area, which are not willing to leave, even if that means we're permanent renters).

    as i have posted before, i have some tension with my brother. he is younger, and recently married. we talk very rarely, and mostly keep in touch through my mother. there was some more tension in that whole situation today - which i'm really not willing to rehash. i ended up having to address it with my mother - basically saying, "you can't talk to me about him anymore, i do not think it is fair. i end up with more personal information about him than he would give me on his own, and it's like this artificial and contrived relationship." she said okay, and that she agrees. i also needed to get her agreement that she would no longer make plans for me and mine without talking to me first. i understand that i spent many years as a child that she just herded into the backseat to go along with her wherever it was she was going - but that's not me anymore. I was able to get her agreement on that. it was a good conversation, approached as "problem solving" and not me bitching at my mother. which was also good.

    and i really felt afterward like a huge burden had been lifted, and that we had a much nicer time once that was all dealt with and put in the cabinet somewhere.

    a funny thing she said - part of the reason why there's tension b/t my brother and i is b/c i have an "overwhelming personality" and i exude confidence, which makes his new (insecure) wife feel as if i do not "approve" of her. which i find absolutely ridiculous, b/c i have been NOTHING but kind and accepting of her - often to get the door slammed in my face. my mom said i have an "attitude" and an "edge." I said that it wasn't fair - that my brother has an ATTITUDE in comparison to my attitude, and that if this person married him, how can she be so bothered by me? apparently, no - my brother's ATTITUDE, according to mom, is merely a cover for his insecurity, and that he does not have confidence or self-awareness, and covers it up with a blustering and obnoxious manner, whereas my "attitude" is more accidental and just a part of who i am.

    i checked in with beloved on this. i felt that perhaps my mom was being unfair (although she was not being accusatory, and said it in kindness and approval of my "edge" and "attitude"). he said no - mom was not off base. that i have an overwhelming personality and an intimidating aspect to my personality. i intimidate people.

    i don't mean to.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:55 PM   1 comments
    Thursday, April 06, 2006
    Positive chaos
    Yesterday I had the girls' parent-teacher conferences. I never go into those worried, and I never come out upset. This time was no different. Both girls are above grade level in every area. Both teachers are blown away by their abilities in the language arts (apparently, both my kids are known as writers). They don't get actual grades at this point, but their "report cards" mostly indicate that they're both above grade level in all areas. Thing One is in 4th grade, and her reading and spelling were evaluated as 8th grade level. Thing Two is in 2nd grade, and she's considered at a reading/spelling level of almost 5th grade.

    They're also both very happy socially right now. For Thing One, that is a really great improvement from her past years. Last year was a transition year for her, as her first year on this coast, and while we were in CA ... there was more nastiness at school. She felt left out and ostracized a lot. This year, I am informed, she is a leader in the classroom, very confident, and very secure in a large group of friends. woo hoo Thing One!

    Thing Two has always been rather magnetic in the social arena. She's had some shake-ups with friends this year b/c her best friend from last year wanted to be Best Friends this year (i.e., labeled as such, with exclusive rights to one another) and Thing Two hates that and always has. Now, I thought I saw my Thing Two being ditched for a third party, but since she's so good at finding friends and having a good time, she was fine with it - and last year's friendship is far from over, there's just this ever-present third corner of a triangle. But her teacher told me today that I was wrong. that the friend from last year was so badly wanting to be in a Best Friend situation, that she was overwhelming and irritating my Thing Two, and then just turned to someone more willing to be so labeled.

    Ahh, the joys of elementary school and the inner social workings. What's so odd is how different of "cultures" my 2 kids are involved with. Thing One is in a very co-ed group of friends. They talk about a lot of things, and find really core traits in common with each other. There is no stigma tied to girl/boy friendships. They have fun with academic pursuits and enjoy books and writing and poetry and other creative endeavor. Thing Two would rather die than call a boy her friend - her friends keep things much more surface, and don't "talk about their feelings." They are interested in sports and are more in tune with the current styles and lingo, etc.

    I'm destined to have the Nerd and the Cheerleader. I'm gonna try hard for it to be the Nerd and the Jock -- i.e., NOT cheerleading, and considering the soccer culture in this area, I think I can pull it off.

    It is interesting as they grow older, though. Very interesting.

    And my poor babysitter is being run just as ragged by it all as I am. Tomorrow Thing Two is going to a friend's house, Thing One has her theater thing. So the sitter has to drop Thing One off, then an hour or so later, go pick Thing Two up, and then walk Thing Two to where I am picking up Thing One so we can all meet Beloved for dinner. I've been craving Chinese Food lately. We were supposed to go last week, but Beloved poisoned himself and couldn't eat. and i didn't want to go without him.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:37 AM   0 comments
    on the bandwagon --- that's me.
    i've seen this damned quiz everywhere - i don't know who to credit.

    Your Lucky Underwear is Orange

    You have an intense personality and crave extreme emotional experiences. And your lucky orange underwear will help you take it to a whole new level.
    Adventure and danger don't phase you - in fact you enjoy dicey situations. You're the first to take a risk, and the first to get the payoff.

    And while your risks sometimes result in great rewards, they also sometimes result in devastating failures.
    If you want to have intense moments without always risking all you have, put on your orange underpants. They'll help you experience life with rich emotions, no matter what you're doing.


    I will admit - it first came up as yellow. I am just NOT the yellow underwear person they were saying I was. I had a hard time on the question about major I would have if I was entering college - my gut said "philosophy" but i was afraid that would come off as too "stuffy" - so I said "psychology" b/c it's slightly more practical, and I feel pretty practical in my old age. Law wasn't there - I'm happy with law school. I like law school. Political science wasn't there. I lvoe politics, and I find political science fascinating. So I was groping at straws with the ridiculous choices there. English? Pfft, like I have time to read - i'm in LAW SCHOOL!! So when I came out with the crappy yellow underwear, I had to go back and go with my gut - philosophy.

    Why does philosophy put me in orange undies while psych gives me yellow?
    posted by Zuska @ 12:16 AM   0 comments
    Wednesday, April 05, 2006
    Something more worthwhile to do with my time
    Thing Two and I had our book group tonight. It was very good, and kind of bad all at once. We read a book that was new to everyone, and it was fun. The kids had varying opinions of it (Thing Two was one of the few who liked it), and really engaged in a rather prolonged conversation as to their opinions, and thoughts prompted by the story. It was fun. The bad came when the kids went off to play after, and one of the 5 girls got her feelings hurt. All of us moms felt really bad, b/c we weren't really sure what happened (the kids were downstairs), and we didn't have time to figure it out before the offended party left. It turns out there was a skirmish b/t 2 siblings (offspring of the hostess) and the sad girl got caught in the middle. Oh, the trials and tribulations.

    It is at OUR house next month. I feel slightly self-conscious in this situation - the other 4 homes we rotate through are owned homes, and are big homes, with more than one level and plenty of places for the kids to run around. We live in a tiny apartment. I will make it work, but I will feel a little -- I don't know. In some ways I feel like we don't measure up, and in other ways I feel like - hey - not everybody is a home owner, not everybody is in the same life station, and it's probably good for kids to see that, and - who cares? One of the things I like about our community is that there is a mix in the socio-economic situation. Not all areas of our town have that, but ours does. There are some $1,000,000+ homes, and there are some public assistance housing - we're somewhere in the middle. But the kids all play together, and all go to each other's homes, and it's common knowledge that some people live in an apartment, some people live in a house. It just so happens that this book group is far and away (other than us) a "house" group. Not little junky houses, either.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:26 PM   0 comments
    i flushed my television down the toilet tonight
    I do not watch very much television. I don't have much time. Beloved and I watch 24, and I watch Lost. That's it.

    I have watched Lost since the first show. I've liked the show.

    But tonight, the show pissed me off. They were hinting at the fact that all the people stranded on the island are actually IN AN INSTITUTION!!!

    This will so piss me off. I will feel like [what i already know, just by virtue of my usual feeling of television] i have wasted like 2 years of my life. they're in an INSTITUTION?

    they showed that 2 of them (at least) were in this institution. Hurley (the really really heavy guy) and his new girly friend (who made weird disgusted faces at him behind his back right after she kissed him).

    Beloved (who has been dragged into this show with less enthusiasm than I possess) believes that everybody is on their own journey for whatever reason, and just b/c Hurley and blondie were in an institution doesn't mean that all the others were.

    But I'm still pissed off.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:08 PM   0 comments
    a technological two-steps back
    As I mentioned the other day, I've started to leave my computer home, and take notes by hand. I still feel it's going well, and the trade off of back/shoulder pain for hand-cramps is thus far well worth it.

    The odd thing is that I see that several of my classmates are also making this switch. Right now. People who I know have been lugging their laptops around for the past 1.5 years are instead waltzing into class with a pen and a legal pad.

    I do wonder if that law professor in Memphis got people thinking. Or perhaps everyone is sick of paying for a chiropractor on law school funds. I do believe that the people I've seen making the switch are those who had larger computers, like myself.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:30 AM   0 comments
    under a great big rock
    yesterday in employment law, we were going over the WARN Act, and the related regulations promulgated by the Department of Labor. Our professor mis-spoke during our last session as far as whether you count forward or count backward from a lay off date, and it made us all a bit more confused than was warranted - he was spending yesterday trying to fix his error.

    then someone in my class raised her hand and said she "didn't see the point" in there being TWO laws about the same thing - why does there have to be an Act, and then *another* law saying like, the same stuff? "what's the point?" basically, why is there a statute and a regulation - but she didn't see the difference b/t the two, and saw them as just two of the same. She said, "they seem to be talking about the same thing, and there's all this overlap, and I just don't get it."

    Employment law is not a first year class. Furthermore, this is the spring quarter - in this school, it means you have had TWO co-ops. Two times of working in the legal field. I happen to know that in the Class that I was Teaching (and took as a 1L), we go over the relationship b/t statutes and regulations a great deal. I remember being frustrated by it, both times, as a wee bit simplistic, and something that does not deserve this much attention.

    Perhaps the fact that I am taking Administrative Law right now makes me extra haughty on this issue - since we've had many class sessions discussing enabling statutes and the promulgation of regulations - but I don't think so. The other students in the class (it's a big one, approximately 80 students) were sniggering and rolling their eyes and making astonished comments. I heard someone say, "has she not been on co-op? what the hell?!" The professor, however, was patient and slowly explained the relationship between the two. Too slowly, for the other 79 students in the class who were all examining their fingernails and doodling in their margins.

    I figured that she was going to be VERY embarassed once she was told that these "two laws" are actually a statute and a regulation - you know, have kind of a "duh" moment? Uh uh. Instead she said, "well, i have a follow up question, on the exam, um, which one should we look at first? which one is more important?" She still didn't understand. It was at that point that the Professor started to lose his patience with a comment like, "not just here, but throughout your entire legal career!. He recovered quickly, however, and explained again -- slowly.
    posted by Zuska @ 10:17 AM   0 comments
    Tuesday, April 04, 2006
    squishy socks
    My corporations professor calls everything "squishy." It was cute the first 1o or 15 times.

    My socks today, however, are truly squishy. Not as in "they have no bright line rule and it really depends on the mood of the judge and the ability of the lawyer to cast things in a permissible light" squishy, but rather really really wet from riding the bike through an underwater intersection this a.m. squishy.

    Otherwise, the bike ride went really well, and I even found it invigorating to be riding in the rain. In rides during driving rain, I had issues with keeping my eyes open, due to the rain pelting my open eyeballs. Today, however, I had on a hat with a visor, and there were no pelting issues, and it was nice.

    I must remember next time, however, to wear rain shoes and pack extra socks.

    In other news, my school released next year's class list. We won't know the actual schedule until the day before we register, but I can at least start toying with different content combinations. I do know, however, that a lot will remain up in the air until this summer is over. I am HOPING (unrealistically, I'm sure) for some direction to take place during my summer employ. Will I enjoy the labor & employment work so much that I absolutely *must* make room for Labor Law I and II? Or will I get such a thrill from doing [shudder] corporate work that I'll find myself taking Corporate Tax? Perhaps I will say fuck it all - and just take 2 quarters worth of seminars.

    There is a Law, Policy and Society class being offered in the fall that I am about to go and look up. It looks very interesting. There's also a Racism and the Law seminar in the spring that I will definitely be taking. I also know (for a fact) that I will DEFINITELY be taking Professional Responsibility in the fall.

    I would like to keep my spring light next year. I see my third year counterparts really struggling to find time in their busy senior-itis lives to actually READ or in the worst cases, WRITE PAPERS. They are much more interested in going out to lunch, and going to see a movie, and going for a walk, and skipping class to hang out with each other before the Great Separation this fall. They're also very jaded. So I think I will use this knowledge while crafting my schedule for the spring. I'll be ahead on credits, and can probably get permission to go below the minimum 11 credits. I could just take 3 classes (say, for example, First Amendment, Intellectual Property, and Racism and the Law).

    And then I will graduate.
    posted by Zuska @ 3:46 PM   0 comments
    Monday, April 03, 2006
    this ain't bikin' weather
    This quarter, I have been bound and determined to ride my bike to and from school, regardless of the thermometer or barometer or ___meter. Meaning, rain or shine, cold or warm ... I was even determined that I would ride in snow (but not ice).

    Reason being that if I ride the bike, it takes 10-15 minutes to get to school. If I take the bus, or the train, it takes 45 minutes, but I really don't feel like I can budget less than an hour if I want to be certain to be either to class or home for the babysitter on time. It's just ridiculous. It feels like such a waste of time, to be spending 1.5-2 hours a day doing what should take 30 minutes. Time that I could be reading, or playing with kids, or blogging.

    So far this quarter, I only took the bus once, and that was the day that I was sick from the flu. Otherwise, I have lived up to my promise to myself (and my kids -- if I take transit, they have to eat breakfast at school, and that's no fun for them).

    Tomorrow is supposed to rain. REALLY rain, 100% chance and thunderstorms likely. It will be between 40 and 45 degrees. By nightfall, it will potentially turn over to snow, which will continue through the morning commute.

    This is really testing my bike resolve. But I also like sleep, and I don't want to get up early. And Beloved and I just worked it out that on Tuesdays, I stay at school a wee later in order to get more work done (I leave at 6 instead of 5), and if I'm on the T or the bus, I don't get the extra work time.

    So I am going to go and dig out my rain pants. And my bike raincoat, and I'm going to be a big girl. I am going to ride my bike in the rain, like I said I would.

    But i'm not gonna like it.
    posted by Zuska @ 7:37 PM   0 comments
    Sunday, April 02, 2006
    Chatty Cathy
    When I was around 6 or 8, I had a doll named Chatty Cathy. My sister had a fancy-pants doll, too, hers did tumbling exercises - somersaults and stuff. both of them were very hard, and not cuddly, and weren't really that much fun after the first day of ownership.

    Anyway, I'm writing my fourth post of the day!!

    This week I conducted a Great Experiment -- I left my laptop home. It started on Thursday. I had bought paper, and notebooks, and lots and lots of pens. I love buying pens. And I left my laptop home. Partly due to the whole "shopping during Corporations" issue, and partly due to the fact that a few weeks ago, my a/c adapter broke, and I was forced to take notes by hand. I felt like I was doing a better job, and was more engaged. I type about 100 wpm, so typing my notes really seems to make sense. And while typing notes, I've done pretty well in school. When I first considered skipping the laptop, Beloved was against it - he was like, "zuska! this is working for you, i don't know why you would try to change it!"

    My thinking is -- when I write, I learn. Sometimes, copying notes over by hand is how I study. It puts things into my brain - almost photographically. This way, I can write my notes, then later, type them into the computer - already in outline form! I feel like the distillation process will help me to be outlining as I go, and help me to organize my thoughts and my notes better.

    I also did feel like I was processing more in class in order to be more efficient with my poor, sore hand.

    Then the next DAY was when the news came out about that law professor banning laptops from her classroom. I don't think I'd like a professor telling me that I *can't* take notes on the laptop, if I want to - but i do think she was right.

    The final reason - my back. My laptop is a freaking elephant. And when I ride the bike, I don't feel it. It rests on my back, isn't pulling on me, and all is well. But this year, the girls have things after school, and I walk them to school while walking the bike, and the bag is pulling pulling pulling. We also have crappy classrooms with aisles that are so narrow that everyone has to take their bags off before getting through to their seats. It's a pain in the ass.

    It's working out so far.

    ____________________________

    In other news .... I just spent my afternoon (in between blog posts) working on this project for my judge from last summer. the trial on the issue is this coming week. it is on an island. he invited me to come and observe, b/c i will be drafting the decision, but made it very clear that it is in no way required.

    If I go, I will miss 3 days of classes. The parties are paying to have a court reporter transcribe the entire 3 day trial. If I were to observe, I would be in the lobby conferences and would know who looked like a slimeball and who seemed like they were lying, and all these other things that trial transcripts can't tell me - but I don't want to lose 3 days of classes. Actually, I couldn't go for all of Wednesday, b/c I scheduled parent teacher conferences for that day, and I can't reschedule. I thought he meant it when he said I didn't have to be there, but now he keeps saying things like, "I'll call your professors and get you a protective order!" Of course it's not about my professors saying yes or no -it's about me getting behind, and not wanting to get that far behind. Especially in Federal Courts. I missed one day when I had the flu-thing, and I felt like I was drowning. When I'm there, I can keep up, and feel okay - but missing a day is like pulling the rug out from under my feet. (yes, I'm a nerd).

    Also, it's not easy for a girl who doesn't own a car to get to an island. i could fly commercial, or i could drive to a ferry. i do not have a car. i could rent a zipcar for the day, but that will cost $70, on top of ferry fare. for 3 days? Well, 2, since Weds. isn't an option.

    ______________________________

    I have approximately 70 pages to read for Federal Courts tonight. Isn't that a lot? For one class? I think it is. I prefer 20 pages per night. That feels manageable. But 70? And the ABA is at our school tomorrow for our 7-year check in, and the professor informed us that our class will be observed, and she needs us all to wear our brilliant faces to class.

    _______________________________

    I believe I neglected to mention on here (b/c I left my laptop home, and therefore actually did WORK between classes, instead of writing blog posts) that Beloved poisoned himself last week. He made us a fantastic paella for dinner on Tuesday night. On Thursday, he said, "sweetie, we have leftover paella that you can bring for lunch!" I thought "oooh, left over shrimp? yuck." and then "forgot" to bring it to school for lunch. He, however, did not "forget" to bring his to work. He ate it. He stopped throwing up at approximately 2 a.m. the next morning. It was really really horrible, and I was incredibly worried about him - at least I started worrying at 9 or 10 - before that, i was mad at him. for saying he was sick. my old impatience with sick people reared its ugly head, and I didn't believe him. we were on our way out to a pot luck for Thing Two, and I just thought he didn't feel like coming. Thing One had called me and said she didn'tf eel well, and I had to pick her up early from her theater group, and i had called beloved to let him know, and he said, "yeah, i don't think i feel so good either" - i just thought that seemed too convenient. I mean, seriously, we were both just sick last week, and the week before. So this was the third week in a row.

    didn't i feel like shit the next day when he had burst all the capillaries in his eyes and had lost 10 pounds within 6 hours? Yeah, I did. He really went through a miserable night. I thought I was going to have to take him to the hospital. he's almost back to normal now.

    Really, I am a truly horrid person. Truly, truly horrid.


    __________________________________

    Thing Two just came home from a birthday party - it was at a swimming pool. Thing One is at a circus with a friend, and then is going out to dinner, and won't be home before 8. Beloved did the transportation of Thing Two so I could finish up with the judge, and we let Thing Two pick dinner - something her sister doesn't like, since she is eating out with her friend. We couldn't think of anything, b/c typically Thing One is the one who will eat anything, and Thing Two is slightly picker. But Thing Two knew right off the bat - Tomato Soup. So we're having grilled cheese and tomato soup. And I have a lot of cleaning up to do before tomorrow. I wonder if that will happen before or after those 70 pages .....
    posted by Zuska @ 6:07 PM   1 comments
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