the girls come home. i am very ready. i had a nice time with beloved - really, a great time. i feel refreshed, and am just getting to that point where my evenings seem empty and i feel like i need a couple more people in the house, warming the place up with their energy and cute-ness.

work was painful this week -- so many people were out or working reduced hours because of the holidays, and the project i had to work on was basically busy-work, and each day felt like it was 400 hours long. but tomorrow is a day off, dedicated to getting the house in order, and come 4 p.m., hopping on the T to get the offspring.

posted by Zuska @ 7:14 PM 1 comments

I honestly took this expecting to fail - imagine my surprise!!

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

posted by Zuska @ 7:12 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

electricity

beloved is snoring, and i slept until .... geez, 10:40 a.m.? so now that it's 12:40 a.m., i cannot sleep. so i came out to the living room to read (The Secret Life of Bees - engaging in the story, if not in the language) and am sipping some wine (in hopes that it will make me sleepy - i DO have to work tomorrow) and between chapters perusing my favorite blogs. *some* people have had the nerve to take much time off for some nonsense like a holiday. pshaw.

today, beloved and i had another day off together - alone. i made us some oatmeal, and then he made our week's food plan, including our new year's eve schmorgasbord which he and the Things planned one day in my absence. i know he's making me a cheese ball. actually, it seems there will be much cheese. b/c we're having cheese fondue in the evening, as well as a cheese ball ... at some point. we're also watching 3 or 4 movies, playing games for many hours, and perhaps, depending upon the weather, going for a walk and a stop in a park.

but today - we were alone. we went to the new Massachusetts IKEA, in search for a pot for his new Cat Palm which he received as a gift from my mother. we found the perfect pot.
of course, that is not all we purchased. we were laughing at the odd assortment of things we found. alarm clocks - 3, at 99 cents each. cacti. 2, for me. b/c i think it's the only type of plant that will survive without being turned over to him. a cat food dish. b/c i dropped a pot on the dry-food bowl some weeks ago, and they've been forced to eat dry food out of a little miso soup bowl (with very pretty flowers on it, so they should be pleased). some curtains from the as-is department which we are turning sideways, and using on our living room window. some pen and pencil holders for the girls' desks. some spoons. we never have enough spoons.

i found myself oddly drawn to kitchens. WHY? I don't even cook. but we've been playing the "some day" game ... about houses, and open floor plans, and large kitchens, with an island in the middle, so i can sit with a glass of wine and talk his ear off while he chops and sautees. or perhaps, in my dream world, where the girls can sit and complain about how hard long division is while he chops and preps dinner way ahead of time at 3 p.m. while i'm still at work but he is not b/c he is my house husband who works on his creative projects all day, and is the presence in the house that disallows my children from inviting their friends over after school to explore the Wonderful World of Cannibis b/c their parents work all day and aren't home until 6. as Wonderful of a World as I may find it to be, i believe my daughters should wait until the same age their mother was when she first explored ---- 28. Mature, responsible, able to apply self control. that's the rule. i'm sure they'll follow it.

but by far, the high point of my day was the Toyota Prius, a la zipcar. It's a hybrid - my first time getting one. it has these little diagrams that display while you're driving - shows how charged the battery is, shows where the current power is coming from - shows your current mpg, and if you like, you can push another button and see what your trip's average mpg is. sometimes, while driving, our current mpg was 99.9. can you imagine? 99.9 miles to the gallon? i bet it was higher, but they only could show so many digits.

so we played even MORE of the "some day" game, and started to think that when we're
ready to own a car again (like, when we have a DRIVEWAY and don't have to pay another $200/mo for a parking spot in this crazy anti-parking town -- no overnight parking on the street. period.) I've been saying a Civic Hybrid will be my next car - if there is a next car. but beloved thought perhaps an Accord Hybrid is better. so when we got home, i looked them up. now i'm thinking of a Prius being my next car. if there is a next car. because the civic and honda doesn't seem to really take on the whole "using gas engines is bad" idea. they seem to just say, "how can we use this word hybrid that people are interested in, and sell it?" the Prius has better gas mileage, by far - and most importantly, it's MUCH better for city driving. we live in a city! also, it's default is the electric motor. and the honda one .... they're not so separate? if i understanding this mechanic mumbo-jumbo correctly - the electric just works to SUPPLEMENT the gas engine - whereas in the Prius, the electric functions alone - and often.

one of the best parts of ANY hybrid ... it's a constant challenge. apparently, it's very difficult to work out the gas and the brakes in a way that maximizes the mpg, and it's almost impossible to get the car to live up to the advertised best mpg. those who get paid to drive cars and write reviews said that they were CONSTANTLY watching the little mpg read out, and i know that would be me. i would be constantly trying to best myself, and looking to get the advertised mpg out of the car during every trip. i told beloved that we would keep a notepad in the car, and at the end of every trip, we would have to write our average mpg down WITH OUR INITIALS so i could do dances during dinner when mine was higher than his.

he he he.

posted by Zuska @ 12:42 AM 1 comments

Monday, December 26, 2005

again, right before i woke up

i received a phone call. my sister had died. i was devestated, as were many others. her ex husband had been the one to call. many of us sat around a table, not-eating, mourning. someone told me they saw her - the shape of her - standing at my elbow throughout the dinner. she was right there by me. someone else said she was reading what i had been writing on my computer. i was crying. i said i wished she was sitting at the table with me, for real. i thought that if she could be there, if she could see what i was doing, then i could write her a letter. but l her that demand that she come back. i could tell her that i miss her, that everybody misses her. i walked through an unfamiliar (to Real Me) house to find my car keys. i need to go home. i am going to write a letter. i want pretty stationery and a nice pen. so many detours on the way. i stop to refit my clarinet (i don't have one). i walk across campus and run into an old mail man who had asked me to a dance, and who insists he has a paper for me to sign - some legal acknowledgement that i am who i am, and that i should have signed before he ever delivered mail to me years ago. all i want is to write my letter, but i'm nice to this guy. i start to cry when he goes to get the form, b/c i'm overwhelmed with grief and sadness about my sister being dead. he returns and i say, "my sister died yesterday" and he says, "i know there is nothing i can say." he knocks my computer off a ledge, and it's broken again. the same way it used to be, with the screen all separated, and me wondering what holds in the lighted part. he says something about computers, and i tell him that he sounds like my partner. he asks why all the good ones are taken, and says he bets that my partner is taller than he, the mailman, is. i have him stand up, say no - they're about the same height, if the mailman isn't taller. i say they even have the same first name. i do not point out that his chest and shoulders look mishapen, as if he's wearing a brace, and that he's ugly, and tries too hard, and instead i say, "it must just be chance - he got here first."

then as i start to wake up, and the dream mixes with consciousness, i wonder ... do i expect her to write back? she can't write back, b/c she can't hold a pen. she is dead. then i wonder - what do i want from her? do i want to know what death is like? and then - but does she know? is she only able to visit, to linger, to read letters, for a short time? and then she will go to another phase, of which she knows nothing? then i wonder, if she could stay, and i could see her ghost, would it look like her body? rotting? full of maggots? then i think of her 5 year old son. will her ex husband keep him? will i ask to raise him? i know they won't let me. will they let me see him? visit? by the time that happens, will he remember me, and my daughters? should i go now? leave school and go to CA to make sure her family has a presence in his life during this time?

then i wake up, and i am glad she is not dead.

posted by Zuska @ 8:41 AM 1 comments

Sunday, December 25, 2005

movie madness

thus far, we have seen 2 in the theater, and 2 at home. today, we have FOUR at home planned. i think we may have tapped out our joint theater options already. i have 1/2 a plan to go and see the Jennifer Anniston movie alone on Friday before i pick up the girls from the airport. since mr. "i don't want to see that one" has to work. and i don't. so ha!!

On Friday night, we saw Syriana. I was slightly disappointed in that I didn't feel like I was given any new information or ideas. I've heard a lot about how "deep" the movie was, and how for some, it's even hard to follow. obviously, i'm not the only one who heard this, b/c the couple behind us had the following exchange while awaiting the previews:

him: I read some about this movie.
her: Oh yeah?
him: Yeah. it's directed by the same guy who directed Traffic.
her: Really? That's interesting.
him: Yeah. and it's kind of the same, where there are all these different stories that kind of tie
together in the end.
her: Oh, i like that.
him: yeah, but they say that you have to really watch closely, and pay attention.
her: Oh. Well, i'll be sure to pay attention [slight sarcasm, obviously not daring too much, b/c
it was clearly early in a relationship]
him: yeah, i really think you should. pay attention. [no sarcasm. no humor. he meant it.]

There were parts where i had to keep the players straight (the dude i initially had trouble figuring out and following was the biggest of oil dudes. Whiting.) but it did, in fact, all tie together in the end (which sounds ridiculously like what my civ pro professor constantly said about that course). beloved and i were discussing who was portrayed as the "hero" or at least, as the most sympathetic character. I thought Clooney (i.e., Bob), and he thought Bennett. I disagreed vehemently with him. he disagreed with me.

Yesterday afternoon, we saw King Kong. It was fun. I work hard to not be embarrassed over the fact that I can be entertained by special effect movies without difficulty. i can be carried away by the sound and the visual and ignore the acting (to a certain extent, if Andie McDowell was in the movie, i couldn't. or sean young. or as i learned last night, Katherine Ross). I liked Kong. Beloved felt that it was a bit too long. as long as Kong keeps roaring, and dinosaurs keep falling down ravines, it's not too long for me.

On Thursday, we saw The Talented Mr. Ripley. This movie made me feel ill. there was a part where someone hit someone else in the face with a boat oar (trying not to ruin the movie for those who have not seen it), and it was really disturbing, the someone else's post-oar-smack face and head. ugh. and it also had a very dark version of the anticipation from sitcoms that i hate. i HATE IT when there are blunders and accidents and mistakes and stupidity that you, the view knows is going to result in the main character getting "caught" or in some kind of trouble. Frasier used to have these set ups all the time, and I really really hated it. The Talented Mr. Ripley had the same thing to it, but it wasn't something to make you laugh. it was something to make people die, and people get caught for making other people die, and it made me hugely squirmy.

Last night we saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Other than DESPISING Katherine Ross and her lack of acting skills and her lack of decent on-screen voice and talking ability, i enjoyed it. i've always been a robert redford fan -- i don't care how old and wrinkly he gets. and i can be, while watching one of his movies, a Paul Newman fan. I was sad when they died. because i liked them.

posted by Zuska @ 9:54 AM 0 comments

un-christmas morning

the girls are not here ... our true holiday celebration happened a few days ago. i've been up now for an hour or so, but beloved is still asleep. it doesn't feel like a holiday to me.

last year, the girls were gone for thanksgiving, and beloved and i made plans to have a movie marathon, and eat thai food. i was happy with the plan at the time ... we were having a big meal with the girls that following weekend, and we would have our "thanksgiving." but on the day of thanksgiving, i was unfulfilled. the movies were fun. the thai food was fine. but .... it felt blah. i guess i didn't like it so much.

but today (so far) I don't feel that way. maybe it's because we DID do our celebration. and we've made some conscience and (i think) well founded decisions about this holiday season. decisions that we're all happy and comfortable with, and which do not include a *Christmas morning.*

beloved and i are having a yummy delicious breakfast consisting of his speciality french toast and some sausage (mmmm, apple chicken maple sausage from whole foods), and then later, he's making me filet mignon.

have i ever mentioned that i *never* cook? literally NEVER? unless i'm whipping up some mac & cheese for the kiddos on the weekends b/c we're out of leftovers? beloved is our cook. and he is FANTASTIC at it. the girls love his cooking, and if ever something happens that i have to cook, they approach the food suspiciously.

once, he was going to take a night off from cooking b/c he had a surprise day off from work, and wanted just the "day off." then i invited a friend over for dinner, and i'd spent so much time bragging on his cooking, that he couldn't NOT cook. he made a FANTASTIC dinner that completely justified my bragging and my poor little 20 pound friend ate 35 pounds of food b/c it was just THAT good.

back to christmas. i think i'm actually very comfortable with this day as it is. i do wonder how solstice-instead-of-christmas will go with the girls home next year. if they'll feel kind of left out of the christmas day stuff, since we'll be celebrating on the 21st instead of the 25th. but we live in a primarily jewish community, so i'm not sure christmas is as big of a deal here as it is in other places. in berkeley christmas was a big deal. it was more cultural than religious: presents and santa, not christ and birth and a constant awareness of death and the cross. either way, i think it would have been harder for them to sit it out there than it will be here.

we will have some traditions for christmas day. some family routine ... whether it's a winter hike, or a movie in the theater (although beloved will probably veto that, b/c in his experience, theaters are too-too crowded on christmas day, b/c everybody goes after dinner). i don't think we can do a movie marathon with the kids, b/c that's our new year's deal.

posted by Zuska @ 9:03 AM 0 comments

the one from right before i woke up.

the girls and i were at my parents' house. we were on the pond, which was frozen thick, and solid. the girls were playing ... collecting up some snow, making patterns and pictures with it - we did not have our skates with us. i was wandering around the edges, making sure the ice was frozen solid. i told the girls that i was going to make a line in the snow that would show how far they could go, their boundary line. the snow was even on the grass, on the edge of the pond, and on the middle of the pond, so the edges weren't easily discernable. at one point, i thought i found the edge, and the ice was thin, with leaves poking through. i was laying on my belly, and i was able to poke my finger straight through the ice. then i realized it was not the edge. it was near to the middle. i went to the true middle, and again, i was able to stick my finger through the ice. i yelled to the girls to RIGHT NOW run off the pond. we all ran off and were on the ground ... now with exposed grass, and I looked back to the pond, and it was thawed - a shimmering surface of water. it had just .... melted. we were all dry. there were suddenly lots of people there, remarking on how quickly the girls responded to me. i was trying to tell the story - explain the rapid thawing of the ice - and every one kept interrupting me. "do you want to come see my new house?" "did you meet my step daughter?" "have you had lunch yet?" "how old is [Thing One] again?"

posted by Zuska @ 8:56 AM 0 comments

Friday, December 23, 2005

work update

i have not posted too much about work for some obvious reasons. but i'd like to share some, and see if i can be cryptic enough to actually post it.

my new job started out kind of tough. i spent 2 weeks working on a complex and tough issue - which if it were just that, i'd find it fun. but it was also dry. and the end goal wasn't so rewarding - it was for a report to the Board. no litigation, no sympathetic client, no nothing. i feel that i learned the issue inside and out, i'll probably know the Lemon test for the rest of my life (just in time for Scalia to completely eradicate it - but whatever).

but last week and this week, things got quicker. i had many more projects, for current clients, and "quick do this there's a deadline looming" and i got to do some fun work. drafted a piece of an amicus brief, did a few research projects pertaining to those lovely rules of civil procedure. dealt with some great issues - privacy, abortion, abstinence education, post 9/11 detentions. Woo hoo!!!

I think I'm over the hump. 8 more weeks to go. Then back to school. Which means it's almost time to start stressing over which classes I'll take come Spring. oh yeah, and also about that summer associate business i've signed up for. ugh.

posted by Zuska @ 11:45 AM 0 comments

post and pre holiday

i put the girls on a plane yesterday at 8 a.m. they went to their father's parent's house in a sunny locale, where their father was going to be as well. eventually.

we did our solstice celebration on wednesday eve., and it went very well. we had a lovely time - candles lit, the tree flashing, gifts being opened, candy being nibbled upon, and Thing Two creaming all of us at our newest addition to the massive family game collection ... Othello. It was a favorite of mine when I was a kid, and Thing One used to play it at her after school program in California, and she liked it as well, but we never had it. now we do. but thing one .... she beat me!

I *never* get beat. sometimes i'll do that mom-thing, and give thing two a winning hand or something if we're playing Spit, or I'll move a little slow in other games so that she's not completely Trounced, but I will NOT give away the entire win. Beloved doesn't really like playing with me, and I think this is one area where he kind of wonders if supporting me to and through law school is a mistake ... it woke up the competitor in me.

now the girly-q's are gone, and i have a 4 day weekend. should i be embarassed to say i woke up pretty damned near 11 a.m. today? i am a little embarassed - but not enough to not say it. Beloved is working a 1/2 day, and then we're goign to wander up to Whole Foods and buy some Filet Mignons to cook for our Christmas Dinner on Sunday. We plan to go out tonight for dinner and to see Syriana.

posted by Zuska @ 11:38 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

not exactly breaking a sweat ....

i am working at home this morning. can't you see? officially, it's not 9 yet, so it's okay to be blogging at home instead. i think.

i'm signed up for only 1/2 day, b/c today is our solstice celebration at home. we thoguht we'd start early in the day, but Thing One has play practice, and so I told Thing Two she could go to her friend's house, and so now Beloved and i have more time to prep. i'm getting a zipcar at 11 to go and do some last minute purchasing errands. i think all i need to get is new watches for the girls.

in the meantime, i have projects to finish. Thing One has finishing touches she needs me to put on her gift for Beloved, and I need to put some finishing touches on her Journal Box.

i also need to pack the girls for their trip. they're going to a warmer climate, so i think that i need to go down to the basement and dig out the summer clothes. i have to see how much short sleeve material stayed upstairs, and then fill in any gaps. the problem being that these kids are growing like crazy. Thing Two is already having issues with her jeans being too short a week after I buy them ... I'm not sure any of their clothes from august still fit! and they're very close in size (as they're only 20 months apart, and Thing One has been called "petite" by her doctor, and Thing Two has always been tall for her age), so there's really not a "hand me down" system in this house. we have more of a "this isn't really my style, do you want it?" system.

yes, they already have styles. Thing One went from having no style, and wearing whatever I hand her, to having a very definite tomboy style. she often wanders away from the "girl departments" and into the more neutral colors shelved in the "boy department." she boycotts pink. she loves wearing jeans oversized shirts. Thing Two used to wear dresses and pink and purple. but not anymore. now she also wears jeans. must be flare leg. must not be baggy. she refuses to wear longer shirts. otherwise, she's harder to define. she knows what she likes when she sees it, and if that determination is not made, she will not wear it.

so far, everything they want to wear is acceptable to me. (well, with the exception of Thing Two not wanting to give up her favorite jeans even after they were too tight and too short, but she got over it). they're not trendy, and they're not brand conscious. that's important to me - that they not be brand conscious - or at least not demanding it. i don't care if they know that other kids MUST be wearing J.Crew (that was my high school - they're still too young for J.Crew), as long as they're not insisting that THEY must be wearing it.

off to research some privacy issues. then to glue. then to shop. then to clean. then to pack. then to celebrate.

posted by Zuska @ 8:42 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

extra work

i have pretty consistently stayed in touch with the judge i worked for last summer. we've emailed a few times, and had lunch together, and spoken on the phone. we emailed recently about some future internship issues, and he said that he had an "assignment" for me, and wants to know if i'm interested. i was curious. how can a judge have an 'assignment' for little 'ole me?

we finally connected yesterday, and it turns out that he convinced some parties to some action to pay for an outside of court "law clerk" to research some issues that are outside the realm of family law -- some property law issues. and i have been offered this assignment. i am excited about it. it involves (potentially) some adverse possession issues. that was one of my favorite parts of property law! and the property at issue is not on the mainland. so i'll be able to go on some field trips - i love off season beaches. i'm sure i won't have time to stroll along the sand, but it will still be cool.

posted by Zuska @ 11:07 AM 0 comments

33, not 73

i'm such a scatter brain. this a.m., on the way out the door with Thing Two (Thing One went ahead with Beloved b/c she is in a Math Club), i went to double check that my T pass was in my coat pocket, where I always keep it for easy access -- and it was not. i freaked out. they cost $44/month, and you can only get them on certain days. i love having one - not only is it prepaid fare, and you don't have to have money on you every day, but you can get on the train at any door during commute (rather than wait at the front to put money in), and in the stations at night, you don't have to wait in line with all the tourists buying tokens. so while Thing Two stood there in her coat, and gloves, and ear muffs, i searched the house, searched my bag, made her late for school, and finally said - ugh! i'll have to use cash!! i stayed upset all morning.

this is what i figured happened: yesterday eve while walking around town a bit (i left work early to pick up a card and gift for my babysitter, and ended up way early -- so i stopped at Trader Joe's and got a bottle of wine, and then went to the Paper Source and bought more decorations for the girls' boxes -- and i had put my gloves in and out of my coat pockets while going in and out of stores. i figured one of the times i took my gloves out, my T pass came out, and fluttered helplessly to the ground, just waiting to be found by some happy person who missed T-pass sale days, and has been cursing about using dollars and quarters for the past 20 days. (you can only buy them the last 5 days of the previous month, and the first 5 days of the current month).

So i get to work. i'm mad. i'm pouting. i want my t pass. but i can't have my t pass. i drink coffee. i check email (b/c that is my day today), i look up movies to watch. i think "hm, my coffee has gone through me, i must pee." i go to the bathroom. i pee. i wash my hands. i put my hands in my pocket. there is something in there. i take it out. it is my t pass.

WHEN did i put it there? WHY did i put it there? WHY did i not remember putting it there? WHY did i not check there? at all? all day? (we will ignore the fact that it is 11 a.m.)

i think i have a gremlin who keeps picking my pockets. and then returning what it took.

posted by Zuska @ 10:47 AM 0 comments

Saturday, December 17, 2005

solstice shrub

we got our tree saturday. we were out looking for a "solstice shrub," but ended up with a tree. except, one with no bark. one that has never had roots of any kind. it's made of metal wires and tubes, and it's made of some synthetic material made to look like long silky pine needles.

yes, i got a fake tree. i always detested fake trees. but that was when 1) i didn't care so much about trees, and 2) my mom did the clean up of the needles, and 3) my dad dealt with tying the damned thing to the roof of the car, and 4) i didn't have indoor cats who ate the needles and drank the water, and 5) i didn't buy the tree.

thing one first thought of the fake tree. thing two wasn't too happy, but i promised her a small potted real tree for her room (i should write that down somewhere, so i don't forget). beloved was fine with the idea.

the Things actually had a great time assembling the tree. and we strung popcorn and cranberries, and we sorted through our ornaments, and rid ourselves of the tacky ones. we also talked about christmas v. solstice a lot. the kids LOVE doing solstice.

i think that the part of this shift to solstice from christmas that i'm most happy about is my kids' lack of materialism. we make gifts for each other, and they LOVE it. just love it. they do not mind, and do not miss the "stuff." my parents still get "stuff" (my mom bought them each their THIRD american girl doll for christmas this year. THIRD!!! that is ridiculous. most kids whose parents have my financial situation would kill to get one, but mine? they have THREE EACH!! unbelievable -- although i am glad to know that my mom is not participating in the boycott against the company.)

I was in Thing Two's classroom for a family breakfast last week, and there was a wish list on the wall. three kids (2nd graders - 7 year olds) wanted a laptop, 4 wanted a cell phone, and 3 wanted an iPod. many wanted some kind of video game. my daughter? she wanted a box to keep her journals in. we asked her later what kids wanted laptops for, and she got this funky look on her face and said, "that's what i've been wondering!!!"

We are making gifts. i don't know what they're making for me .... but for them, i'm making boxes to keep their journals in (duh), and i'm decorating these boxes. beloved has made a bulletin board for Thing One, covered in fabric (red velvet) and then it has black ribbon through it, like pottery barn makes (only theirs are usually not in red and black). he's making Thing Two a bookshelf. he also mounted some beautiful bugs in shadow boxes. he wrote a haiku to go with the dragonfly for Thing One. it's cool.

so i'm off to decoupage some boxes. the girls are still up, but in their room, scramblign to get their last minute things done. i wonder if we'll succeed?

posted by Zuska @ 5:20 PM 0 comments

one of the ways i am a weirdo

some people have recently found my blog while searching for LSAT info. I find that funny, because I was not yet blogging when i took the test. but i did a search, and took a peek at what other people said at the time. people hated it!! much like people hate law school exams.

but not me. i like(d) both! i loved the LSAT games, and i liked the rest. i did not take a class for the test, i couldn't afford it, and i didn't have the time for a structured thing like that. it was one of the byproducts of going to grad school as a mother. If they had a class from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m., or from 5 a.m. to 7 a.m., perhaps I could have worked it in.

So instead, my beloved got out his whip. he timed me. and he forced me to do timed tests at least 3x a week. my job at that time was a little obscene - my boss had gone on a trip (biking across canada) for the summer, and left me with instructions to watch the (silent) office, and to play on the internet. i also took UNtimed LSAT tests --- all day long. Then I'd go home, and have the timer set to me.

The girls returned from their fathers in late August, and my boss returned from her bike trip. so for those last 4-5 weeks, i had MUCH less time. i started to get nervous at that point. but with my beloved's help, and my determination to "best my best score" - i still got some practice in.

now Thing One comes home with little logic teaser games for extra credit math homework. they're the same as the LSAT games. it bothered me, b/c they were trying to teach the kids ONE WAY to set these things up. With charts. I didn't do charts, I did pictures. and I was damned good at it that way. it really bothered me that they were forcing the kids into only way of doing somethign that works so many different ways.

i also really enjoy law school exams. i like the feeling of accomplishment, i like the preparation process, and i like feeling everything come together with one giant cohesive bow on top. My favorite thing to take away from law school is my outlines. Perhaps not even my outlines as much as my Indexes to my outlines and to my notes. I make so many charts and cross-references and time lines and tables of cases. I'm sure it's the process that's most useful in the end, but i love my end products.

This past quarter, i didn't have ONE class which needed a true outline. i felt lost. i had take home exams and one closed book. i MADE an outline, but spent most of my time with notecards.

I didn't like it so much. I hope next quarter, I get to do more outlines.

posted by Zuska @ 5:10 PM 1 comments

i really always loved him ...

yes, i admit, i watched several (if not all) of the episodes of The Next Generation. Ex-schlurg and I used to watch the re-runs on Fox every night at 11, after the news. I do not mind being like Jean-Luc.

posted by Zuska @ 8:44 AM 0 comments

Thursday, December 15, 2005

intolerant bitch

my parents are both VERY healthy. horses, even. i am VERY healthy. i get sick once a year -- tops. my kids are VERY healthy. they get sick less than i do.

my mom is a nurse, and always was. she worked in hospitals when i was young, and dealt with hospitalized injuries and illnesses. which meant to me, as a child, that NOTHING that happened to me was seen as serious. "go get a bandaid and be quiet." or, "are you throwing up? then you're not sick." my dad had more sympathy for injuries, but for run-of-the-mill illnesses, he was not the person to go to, either. i think he's called in sick for work once in his entire life. (he's 58.)

now that i'm an adult, and even during my time as an almost-adult, i have no understanding of illness or injury. none.

my beloved is sick right now. he got sick on sunday. it is a cold that i came down with my first week of work (the week after thanksgiving). i felt like crap. by the time i got home at night, all i wanted to do was go to bed. i really couldn't, though, b/c there's homework to do, and game night to carry out, and dishes to wash, and laundry to do, you know - life. and i certainly couldn't stay home - it was my first week of work!!!

but he got sick on sunday, stayed home on monday (he was truly very sick -- he had no voice), seemed relatively better on tuesday and wednesday, but then today - he had a relapse, and called in sick again.

and me? the loving, devoted pseudo-wife? uh, no. see the title. that's me.

i am fully aware of the fact that i am very lucky to have the physical constitution that i have. my beloved was not so well endowed, and he had a really nasty bout with pneumonia 10 years ago which made him a little more susceptible to these things, a little slower to improve, and gets hit a little harder.

no matter how much i understand these things, i can't shake the irritation. i KNOW it's not fair. i know that he doesn't choose when to be sick, or how sick to be. i do not think he is faking. i just don't have the DEEPER understanding that comes from experience. to me, you feel a bit under the weather, you continue on about your day, and by the time you next think about it, it's gone. b/c that's what my body allows me to do. not b/c i'm better, not b/c i'm stronger.

see? i understand that. i just wrote it. but i still feel irritated!! and it's not first with him. every person i've been close to, to which i have no blood relation (b/c my blood relations are healthy iron-people like me), i have had this experience with. ex's, best and very-close friends from college, and co-workers.

i wonder how i would ever handle it if one of my kids lacked my physical impenetrability? if they were slower to heal, quicker to catch bugs? would i be a crappy mom to that fictitious sickly child? hmm. i wonder.

and then of course i think .... what would i be like if someone who needed me were to fall gravely ill? i wouldn't want to be this intolerable bitch. i would want to be the person i know i should be - loving, and kind, and understanding.

I do not like the way I am on this issue. i have tried so hard to fix it, but i have yet to succeed.

posted by Zuska @ 8:52 PM 1 comments

narnia

my babysitter is finishing up college right now. she almost was going to leave us, in order to pursue other things, but then changed her mind. so she's sticking with us.

but she had an exam today, and so i left work early, and picked up the girls myself.

Thing One was done right on time, at 2 p.m., but Thing Two had Chorus practice for their play (Thing One is acting, Thing Two is singing -- Thing Two would act if she could, but she can't - until she's in 4th grade says the Powers that Be (of the school play)). So Thing One and I went and got Sushi. Mmmmmmm. She likes tuna rolls. that's it. no soy, no wasabi -- just the rice and the raw tuna fish. um. okay. at least i have someone who will go with me.

While we were there, we were chatting about things, and i realized that we'd meant to see the Narnia movie, but we are desperately running out of time before they go to spend the holiday with their father and his family in a disgusting (in my personal opinon) state somewhere south of here.

I then played a very rare role for me - Spontaneous Mom. Thing One and I went across the street and used a library computer to check show times, figured we could make it - and went to scoop up Thing Two, and Go See a Movie (this makes Annie songs run through my head. "Let's go to the mooooovies, Annie!!!")

We saw Narnia. I have a hard time seeing the Christianity connection clearly (i've been told i'm way too much of a literalist in the past ... by my ex-schlurg, to be exact). Thing One told me that if I'd read the first Narnia, I would get it. She said it was the book that explains the "creation" of Narnia, and that while she can't put her finger on the specifics, it just rang of the bible.

but the whole "Aslan is Jesus" thing -- I don't see it. Aslan dies to save Peter. One person. Thing One says no - b/c of the chain reaction that would have happened if Peter didn't die - in reality, Aslan died to save all of Narnia - just like Jesus. She also says that in order for them to be trying to get across the same idea ... they do not have to do the exact same thing.

This from a girl who has spent a total of 1,369 hours complaining about the diversions that the Harry Potter Goblet of Fire movie took from the book. If I have to hear about the extended escaped dragon scene being a ridiculous waste of time which could have been spent further developing the Rita Skeeter story line, including her hidden animangus status, I am going to SCREAM.

Other than the rather substantive debates I had with my 9 year old -- Narnia was alright. I am someone who is easily impressed by several sorts of eye candy. Special effects, beautiful people -- they can please me for 2 hours, easily. But I felt like the computer animation in this movie was sub-par.

Lucy, however, was a real treat. I want to adopt her. She's the youngest sibling, and the actress did a really sweet job at creating a believable child --- both fragile and strong; funny and timid. She was great. The girls and I had a unaminous feeling that she was the Best Character. I would watch the movie JUST to experience that wonderful little child.

And - as is evidenced by a new post -- I got my laptop back today!!

I had the world's worst time with Dell when it was time to call and get a service call in place. I wanted to post about it, but it was just too painful. But then once it's in place (and this has been my experience twice now), the partnership between DHL and the more local Dell workshop places is really very effective. I called DHL on Monday - they picked my puppy up on Tuesday p.m. at 7, and it was back this a.m. at 11. Not too bad. Right?

posted by Zuska @ 8:00 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Winter -- Now and Then

I have been meaning to post about Friday's storm, but hadn't gotten to it. I was up early with Thing One on Friday, because she had a stomach ache. It was 4:30 a.m. I knew it was supposed to snow, and saw that it wasn't yet, so figured it fizzled out, like the storm predicted for earlier in the week.

We both went back to bed, and when I re-woke at 6:30, there was a good bit of snow on the ground. 341 schools in MA closed. But not ours. Since Boston didn't close, ours didn't close. It seemed odd to me, b/c the storm was supposed to be at its worst between 11 and 3, and the kids get out at 2. My kids had play practice, and then would go straight to after-school (on site), so they weren't traveling, but I didn't understand why they would be the ONLY schools in the state to have the kids traveling during the worst of the storm. But we are a neighborhood school, and very few people drive to our school, and there are no buses, so whatever.

I felt like a wimp for leaving work at 12:45 "b/c of the storm" and finishing up my day working at home. The snow had turned to rain, and it seemed like the worst was over. But while I was on the train, it turned BACK to snow, and while i was walking home (after stopping at 2 stores), visibility dropped, the snow was hitting my face in a painful way, and then the weirdest thing happened. There was a flash of light, and then thunder! I'd never heard thunder in a snow storm before.

I got home at 2, and beloved and i sat and watched a blizzard take place outside our window for a couple of hours. Neither after-school nor play practice was canceled. it felt a little strange to have the kids at school during such extreme weather, but it was better than them walking home during it. he went and picked them up at 5, and as they were walking home, the moon and stars were out. not a cloud in the sky.

We went sledding the next day, and beloved took some pictures of the snow .... i'll ask his permission later to post them.

**********

I was born and raised in Connecticut. I lived most of my life in a small town, down a windy road, on top of a slight hill. we had a long driveway, and every school day, a bus would come and pick me up. On cold days, the buses didn't work so well. Or bus drivers didn't work so well. Or something. Because inevitably, the colder the day, the longer I would wait at hte bottom of the driveway, seeing how long I could keep my nostrils frozen closed, and trying not to cry with the pain of the cold so that the tears wouldn't freeze and make it worse. Sometimes it was literally 35-45 minutes that I stood down there.

We had a pond down there, by the bus stop. It was ours. My dad had a little riding tractor which he used to mow the lawn, and when i was younger (and they were less well off) to bring firewood he chopped from the woods to the yard, so he could sell it for extra money. He also used it to plow the driveway, and when it was cold enough, the pond. My siblings and I would then ice skate on the pond. It was a lot of fun.

I don't think I ever made snowmen, though. I also do not have any clear memories of sledding. We lived in the woods, and I think I would have poked my eye out if I tried to go down any of the hills in the woods. (As much as that sounds like the funny line from that movie A Christmas Story ... once, some friends were over, and we were in the woods, goofing off, and we RAN home, and J. fell. A stick went into his eye, and he had to go to the hospital to get it out.)

Those are my winter memories. Some bad, some good. i never thought of winter as my favorite season. that was fall. the start of sweater season, the leaves, the smells.

When I moved to California, it was fall I missed. it was the seasons that went along with the calendar, it was not necessarily WINTER.

But now that I'm back ... I am *loving* winter! The snow, the ice, the COLD. I love the cold. I find it very invigorating, and will often choose to walk longer distances, rather than hop on the T at the closest stop.

I like my girls living in a climate that includes winter. they love ice skating. this past saturday, we went sledding. we've been ice skating. we have not yet built a snowman. i don't know, snowmen just don't do it for me. although our planned (hopefully soon-to-be-executed) holiday card includes a snowman ...

posted by Zuska @ 10:05 AM 0 comments

Preparing for Withdrawals

DHL is coming tonight to pick up my laptop. It is broke. Times 3. Really, times 4, but I couldn't be bothered to spend 3 hours on the phone with Dell while they tried to "walk me through" NOT fixing the CD drive. I did not and do not have the energy to post about the insanity that Dell has put me through since November 21. But the screen on my laptop is about to fall off, and the power adapter has exposed wires, so I must send my laptop away.

We have a desktop, but I will have to fight the other 3 for it, and I won't be able to be in the room while beloved makes dinner, and and and.

I will do my best to keep up anyway. oh yeah, and to breathe.

posted by Zuska @ 6:53 AM 0 comments

Monday, December 12, 2005

Thing One Rocks!!

I am in love with my daughter. Two reasons this moment:

1) When I whined, first to her, and then to my beloved, she then sang the music to the News Hour with Jim Lehrer, and said, "Today's News: Mommy has a headache which is moving to the BACK OF HER SKULL!!!"

2) When playing Tri-ominoes with her, she looked at the shape of the pieces, and said, "huh, that looks like the hurricane icon." Aww! A girl after her mother's heart (i.e., weather nut).

posted by Zuska @ 8:26 PM 2 comments

Lyco's Wish Is My Command

Lyco - a favorite fellow blogger of mine - drew my attention to this meme, and I will undertake to fight off my exhaustion (which I fear is the result of a tummy flu traveling through my office) and write a little. I think it will do me some good. Su Doku has been robbing me of most of my free time, and although it may be exercising some part of my brain, it may not be the most useful part.

Zuska 10 years ago:
The virtual eve of my one-year wedding anniversary. i was working as a legal secretary, the ex-schlurg was just finishing mid-year exams in his second year of law school. (huh, i'm exactly 10 years behind him ... never realized that before). I was living in Birmingham, Alabama. Five days from today, 10 years ago, ex-schlurg and I decided to stop using birth control. The Plan was that I would get pregnant, give birth around the time he started working in for an area law firm, and once Kiddos 1, 2, 3, and 4 (all boys, of course) started school, I'd go to law school. I was 23.

Zuska 5 years ago:
I had only recently returned to Berkeley, CA after an 8 month detour to my parents' house in CT while the schlurg went to London to conduct research for his dissertation. i was running my own business doing transcription and paralegal work, but it wasn't working to create a steady income, so i was also working in a book store 2 evenings a week, and one day per weekend so that we could afford groceries. he was still working on his dissertation, and in classes. Thing One was 4. Thing Two was 2.5. We were miserable. We lived in a tiny (600sf) student housing apartment in the Berkeley hills. I was very sick of being married to a student. I was sick of being married. Further schooling, further careers .... light years away in my thinking. Impossible. I would have never found the courage or the belief in myself to think I could even walk into any graduate school classroom, let alone do well, and be successful and confident. I was not a good mother. My patience was short. I was often depressed, and spent mornings in bed for way too long while the kids watched the Disney Channel. But it only went down hill from there. (2000 was not a good year for me.) I was 28. By far the hardest age I've lived through.

Zuska 1 year ago:
The end of reading week for my first bout of exams. Despite exams being an unknown, I had more confidence in myself than I'd ever had in my entire life. More would come as law school progressed. Beloved and I had some growing pains resulting from the first 6 months of living together, but there was no doubt we'd make it through. I was so happy and surprised and grateful that I'd found someone who was a TRUE partner. Someone who could really support me as a person -- who could look around a house, a life (not only his own) -- and pitch in where needed. I was ever reminding myself of what it was like to be on the other side of a law-school relationship ... dealing with the other person being stressed, preoccupied, unable to talk about Anything. Other. Than. Law. And ever trying NOT TO BE A SCHLURG!!! Fortunately, the constant reality and responsibility of Thing One and Thing Two helped me to keep that perspective more. The feeling was there that being 32 (instead of 22) was helping me in law school. The maturity - the countervailing responsibilities - the 10 years of learning what's important (and how letting ONE THING (school!!) become the MOST and ONLY important thing can ruin a family ... a partner ... a lot) -- had served me well. I was striving for balance (as well as success).

Zuska Yesterday/Today:
I remain in love. That's the first thought for who I am today. I am so grateful for my partner, and all that he is, and all that he brings to our life together. We have, in just a year and a half, come very far in building a family here in Boston. Thousands of miles and 4 years from where we started. I love my daughters. They are so smart, and funny, and sometimes wise. And oh-so-beautiful. I am pleased with the parent that I am. I feel more hectic, rushed, and busy than I'd like to. Second year of law school for me means that I rotate into 3 months of work after 3 months of school, and the transition is rough, but do-able. Just came off a quarter of school that felt much more demanding than the first semester of the first year, but I believe I accomplished all I needed to. I am proud of what I've discovered myself as capable of. I have a job lined up that may bring me some financial security for the first time in life, but must be balanced with some serious decision-making about what I want for my life. Some serious considerations about the balance of work and family, and how much is just a myth. I am happy that I've come to school. Happy that I live in Boston - with these three wonderful people, and two super-cute cats.

posted by Zuska @ 8:07 PM 2 comments

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Solstice

As I pretty much indicated in the first 2 installments of the history of my religious experiences, I am not a christian.

i have had increasing "issues" with christmas over the years. whether it's the religion of it, the commercialism of it, the cheap-ness of it, the tackiness of it ... whatever.

So, since my beloved has entered our lives, we started moving more toward celebrating the Winter Solstice. It especially fits in with our schedule and logistics since my darling daughters leave me every other year for christmas. the first year that my beloved and i were together that the girls left, we chose to do solstice instead. my dear sister and her son were living with the girls and i at the time (beloved was living around the corner), and we all did home-made gifts. I had my first foray on a sewing machine - made the girls skirts. beloved made Thing One a bookshelf, and thing two a bulletin board. my sister made the girls nightgowns, which they're each wearing tonight!!!

Last year, the girls were home, and *I* could not refrain from doing a full-on Christmas. Beloved and I worked out special "santa" gifts, and we bought way too much stuff.

part of why it's "way too much" is b/c these girls don't WANT stuff. they don't USE stuff. they want paper. they want notebooks. they want pencils. they love to read, but do it so fast, the purchasing of books is futile. we are library addicts.

This year, the girls were upset upon realizing that it was their dad's turn at christmas, and could barely be consoled ... until we brought up the idea of doing solstice again. they were thrilled!!

I really like it. We don't really buy things. we make things. i told Thing One I was thinking of getting beloved some ____ [I almost linked to it, and then i realized he'd be reading this!! thtat would suck!!] for solstice, and she was completely affronted, "but mom!! solstice is only HOME MADE THINGS!!"

I really want to move to doing solstice every year. i think that right now, we live in such a non-Christmas area (very high Jewish population), that I think I can get away with it -- both with the girls, and with my own conscience.

The girls are leaving at 8 a.m. on 12/22. on 12/21, beloved and i are taking 1/2 days, and we will pick up the girls at 2 p.m. we will already have our "solstice shrub" in the house (last time, it was a living tree, but it died, so it may just be a mini-tree this year, not a live one -- decorated with as natural-type stuff as possible ... popcorn, cranberries ... we LOVE stringing popcorn and cranberries ... fake birds, and other non-commercial, non-Christian ornaments. We will exchange gifts. we will make and eat a nice dinner. we will play games. we will have a cozy, nice day.

posted by Zuska @ 9:16 PM 0 comments

new routines .... ugh.

This is hard. going from school, to a week (or so?) off, to work ... full time, every day ... all day.

I have forgotten things. My babysitter used to work on Mondays and Thursdays from 2-6, then on Wednesdays, from 2-5. When I was in school. Because of all kinds of restructuring, we didn't change her schedule.

Then, on Monday, my beloved got a call from his previous job ... they had someone go on medical leave at the same time that a manager left, and they needed help, and preferred it to be from someone who knew the procedures and the company, and they called him. he said yes. i forgot to call the babysitter and let her know. So on Wednesday, when my beloved got home before me, and the babysitter was frantically pacing and making phone calls to reschedule appointments ... i think everybody hated me. deservedly so. i called and apologized profusely.

the girly-q's are in a play. Thing One has 3 small roles (one may be a speaking part, but I think all 3 are not), and Thing Two is in the chorus -- which Thing One did last year. So this week has had 4 days of practice on top of after-school classes and homework and both girls having nasty-ass colds and being tired and grouchy. not to mention holiday stuff going on in their classrooms, and their sweet college student teachers leaving, and parties and breakfasts and stuff.

Meanwhile, i'm writing a massive memo touching on weird issues peripheral to the ever famous yet never-mentioned-in-the-constitution "separation of church and state." I turned in a rough draft today. It's been intense, yet a bit dry. I want to be done. really.

and then, i read this blog (or is it a blawg? i'm not clear on the distinction) which i've read about often in many of the others that i read, but hadn't really found for myself until recently ... and she spoke of Su Doku .... then, I listened to my weekly podcasts, and Andy Bowers of Slate.com read an article he wrote himself about Su Doku. Then, my local free Metro exposed to me that it contains a daily Su Doku.

Now, I feel a bit addicted. I love it. The part of me that felt elated every time worked through the LSAT games section is in a bit of an orgasmic state at finding these puzzles.

my beloved said, "huh, i wasn't sure if you'd like those. i was thinking of introducing the girls to them." then Thing One saw me doing it, and she said .... "you can do Su Doku! I've tried, and I just can't get those!" So clearly, they no longer need US to introduce THEM to anything.

Next thing I know, they'll be going out on dates. Thing one got a call from a friend tonight. Do you know how rarely this has happened? They're 7.5 and 9 years old ... constant phone use has not yet been an issue. Now and again they've gotten phone calls -- Thing One's friends have called for clarification on homework, and Thing Two's have called to extend invitations ... but tonight, Thing One's friend called to say, "i'm really sick, and I can't go to school tomorrow, and I don't want you to worry about me, or be looking for me all day, so I just wanted to let you know i won't be there."

So they're growing up. Yeah! Damn! I don't know!!! Well, I know I'm glad they don't poop in their pants anymore ;)

posted by Zuska @ 8:43 PM 2 comments

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things.
Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life.
You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation.

You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon.
Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall.
You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others.

At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults.
Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion.
A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

I really take issue with the last paragraph. One and two, I'll just smile and say, "oh, cute quiz," but not that last paragaph. I am always open to discussion, and I loathe when people can't look at the other sides of arguments and even ::::: gasp :::::: change their minds. I am therefore very careful to do that myself. And I really do not EVER see others as "weak" or "inferior."

posted by Zuska @ 6:46 AM 1 comments

Sunday, December 04, 2005

new jobs and ex-jobs .... really, i'll get to both.

My winter job is going great. I love the things that i'm working on. I hope I'm doing well. I have that new-job jittery feeling where i'm afraid everything i write is crap, and that i have no business trying to be a lawyer b/c surely i suck. the people i work with are oozing intelligence from their pores, and I'm impressed, and slightly intimidated. I love the research, and I love the writing, and I love the issues. I am not so thrilled with non-stop sitting and working at the same desk staring at the same computer all day. I don't really take a lunch, but rather eat at my desk. So it's really 8 hours straight. By Friday, 3:30 felt like my end-point. I *could* take a lunch - a real "leave your desk and even the building" lunch, and so I think I will. I will start doing so tomorrow.

one nice thing is that my office-mate is a May'05 graduate from my law school. oddly, she is the one who guided my tour of the school when i came to visit to be sure i wanted to attend in april of '04. very odd!! she's very cool, and it's nice to get to know her.

The ex-jobs part -- my beloved ended his job on the weds. before thanksgiving. he will not be even attempting to start something new until the first of the year. i wish wish wish that i could have my way, and he could just NOT start something new. I am very hopeful that upon my graduation, that will be the case. but for now, i get a little treat of knowing that all is well at home. that if the storm that's predicted for monday night/tuesday all-day does actually hit and the girls' school calls a snow day for Tuesday - we're fine! that if the girls' colds (which are creating a chorus of coughs from the other room as i type) worsen instead of improve - we're fine!! That any calls from school, any emergencies with the cats, any ANYTHING can be covered without worry, stress, and an [unnecessary] ulcer on my part.

As I think I mentioned in the last post - we got snow today. It's really beautiful. It's kind of rare that we get snow in time for my b-day, but it's here. Tomorrow night, however, we have a real doozy of a storm planned. They say that they're "uncertain" - but it looks like it will be at least 6 inches, and potentially much more. i do not know how my new employer treats these things, but i think it's likely that i'll be traipsing into work in the deep, deep snow on tuesday and perhaps wednesday. that will be fun!!!

Thing One tried out for a play on Thursday. She read lines for the Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz, and for her "singing" try out, she sang "Singin' in the Rain." The play is for 2-6th graders, and 4th grade is the first year they can be "actors." She's in 4th grade now. I think that guarantees that her part will be small (she wasn't necessary trying out for the Scarecrow part, they gave limited segments of the script for kids to try out with), b/c I think that they give 6th graders the biggest parts. But she knew her song cold before this came up, and she memorized her parts really quick, and she does a good job with inflection. I wonder if b/c of the controlled setting of the audition, she did okay, and will then get a bigger part, and then will FREAK OUT when the actual play comes. Yikes!

Beloved and I also had her parent/teacher conference on Thursday. She is very smart, very creative, has a beautiful writing voice, but is kind of lazy when it comes to editing and ... capitalization (???!!!! -- she's known these principles since 2nd grade) ... she falls short. but not so short that she isn't at an 8th grade level in all things language arts! ha ha ha!!

oh wait. i'm not a ridiculously proud mother. (did i mention that thing two is barely a 1/2 step behind, even though she's 2 grades younger????)

tee hee.

posted by Zuska @ 8:12 PM 0 comments

new jobs, ex-jobs, and birthdays

In reverse order:

Today is my birthday. I am in double digits: 33. I should change the little lead-in to the blog, because I am no longer a "32 year old momma." huh.

The entire time I was growing up, my mom started calling me my NEXT age about a month after my birthday. For example. I turned 10 on December 4, 1982. By January 10 of 1983, she was saying, "Zuska, you are 11 years old, you should know better than to do that!" Or, "Zuska, it's about time you start acting like an 11 year old!" Or perhaps, "Zuska, you are 11, and your sister is only 8, it is YOUR responsibility to guide her and teach her!"

things like that.

but ever since, i can't shake it. basically, i've been telling people i'm 33 since at least august. if not .... june (i'm also, thanks to mom, keenly aware that my 1/2 birthday is on June 4. Thing One's half bday is March 25, and Thing Two just had hers, on November 24. My beloved had his the day after mine.)

So today - when I am truly turning 33 - no big deal.

Beloved and i went to NYC yesterday. We thought we'd try for some Rush tickets to see Wicked .... at least the illusion of that as a possibility got us out of CT at a proper hour, and kept us from sleeping our day away. There were no Rush tickets for Wicked.

Unfortunately, i've been nursing a cold lately (part of why i didn't make it to any updates re: the new job), and while i woke up excited about the day, and had many hours in NY without difficulty, I ran out of energy and health at about 3 p.m. But this was our day:

10:00: Arrive at Grand Central Station on a train which we took from Brewster, NY (which is a 20 minute drive from my folks' house).
10:10: Arrive at the TKTS booth in Times Square, see that there are NO tickets for Wicked, or our 2nd choice show, or our third choice, or our fourth choice .....
10:25: Arrive in an insanely long line for a nonfat caramel macchiato for me, and a tall soy peppermint hot cocoa for my beloved
10:50: Arrive (just across the street, mind you) at the Hershey's store, where we purchased a 1/2 lb. Mr. Goodbar for Thing Two, and a 1/2 lb. Hershey's Milk Chocolate Bar for Thing One. We're thinking they'll be Solstice gifts.
11:30: Arrive at Rockefeller Center. Wander around. See the tree. Watch the ice skaters. Look for Eddie Bauer b/c Beloved forgot to bring a hat or gloves or a scarf, and it was C-O-L-D. But he's kind of picky, so we never found anything, and yet - he survived!! I had it all, including a new coat.
12:30: Go to Carnegie Deli; see the 2 mile line; try the place across the street; see the 30 minute wait time; decide to go eat at the museum cafe.
1:00: Arrive at the MoMA. Eat delicious beets (both red and golden) and "okay" pumpkin raviolis. Then wander around the exhibits. Miss Thing One and Thing Two while looking at Starry Night -- the *real* Starry Night. [they were in fact quite jealous that they missed it]
4:00: Go to the museum store - find nothing. Sit on a bench and pour over Time Out New York {yes, we're pathetic tourists} to try and find a place to eat.
5:00: Sit for dinner (or at least our first beer) at P.J. Harvey's - a 120 year old "saloon" at 3rd and 55th. Somehow - even while in NY, we find a very Boston-like joint to eat in. It was GREAT. They had a raw bar, and we had the best jumbo shrimp cocktail that I've had in at least 10 years. Then washed that down with a beer, and went on to burgers! mmmm.
6:50: Barely make it back onto a train where I promptly fell asleep on beloved's shoulder.
8:00: back in brewster, head home for an OnDemand movie {my parents have premium cable - something we're not used to!!} and then SLEEP!!

We woke up this a.m. to snow on the ground. It was verra verra pretty outside.

beloved sang happy bday, then my parents and kids (look! i'm the inside of a sandwich!) called to sing at me. we went and got brunch in my folks' small town, filled up their obnoxious SUV with gas (for the second time ... .grrrrr ... Honestly!! When we rent zipcars, we can get to CT on a 1/4 tank of gas, and don't have to fill the tank unless we go on an extra trip to New Haven or something. In this car (SUV!!! grrr), it's already below the 3/4 mark when we're less than 1/2 way there! And the tank is twice as big!

Plus, my beloved and i end up driving around in a car with a "Pray for our troops" yellow ribbon decal slapped on the side. Between the type of car, the age of the car (brand new), the gas mileage of the car, and the magnet on the car ... I feel like the car I'm in grossly miscommunicates my identity.

We arrived home to cake, dinner, more snow, and a decent evening. Thing One and Thing Two have my cold of last week, so I managed to convince them that sleep was paramount, and they're in bed already ... it's 8:10. That's just unbelievable!!

I think that the other topics of this post need their own posts.

posted by Zuska @ 7:21 PM 1 comments

About Me

Name: zuska
Home:
About Me:
See my complete profile