the girls are not here ... our true holiday celebration happened a few days ago. i've been up now for an hour or so, but beloved is still asleep. it doesn't feel like a holiday to me.

last year, the girls were gone for thanksgiving, and beloved and i made plans to have a movie marathon, and eat thai food. i was happy with the plan at the time ... we were having a big meal with the girls that following weekend, and we would have our "thanksgiving." but on the day of thanksgiving, i was unfulfilled. the movies were fun. the thai food was fine. but .... it felt blah. i guess i didn't like it so much.

but today (so far) I don't feel that way. maybe it's because we DID do our celebration. and we've made some conscience and (i think) well founded decisions about this holiday season. decisions that we're all happy and comfortable with, and which do not include a *Christmas morning.*

beloved and i are having a yummy delicious breakfast consisting of his speciality french toast and some sausage (mmmm, apple chicken maple sausage from whole foods), and then later, he's making me filet mignon.

have i ever mentioned that i *never* cook? literally NEVER? unless i'm whipping up some mac & cheese for the kiddos on the weekends b/c we're out of leftovers? beloved is our cook. and he is FANTASTIC at it. the girls love his cooking, and if ever something happens that i have to cook, they approach the food suspiciously.

once, he was going to take a night off from cooking b/c he had a surprise day off from work, and wanted just the "day off." then i invited a friend over for dinner, and i'd spent so much time bragging on his cooking, that he couldn't NOT cook. he made a FANTASTIC dinner that completely justified my bragging and my poor little 20 pound friend ate 35 pounds of food b/c it was just THAT good.

back to christmas. i think i'm actually very comfortable with this day as it is. i do wonder how solstice-instead-of-christmas will go with the girls home next year. if they'll feel kind of left out of the christmas day stuff, since we'll be celebrating on the 21st instead of the 25th. but we live in a primarily jewish community, so i'm not sure christmas is as big of a deal here as it is in other places. in berkeley christmas was a big deal. it was more cultural than religious: presents and santa, not christ and birth and a constant awareness of death and the cross. either way, i think it would have been harder for them to sit it out there than it will be here.

we will have some traditions for christmas day. some family routine ... whether it's a winter hike, or a movie in the theater (although beloved will probably veto that, b/c in his experience, theaters are too-too crowded on christmas day, b/c everybody goes after dinner). i don't think we can do a movie marathon with the kids, b/c that's our new year's deal.

posted by Zuska @ 9:03 AM

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