Every now and then I wonder if I was sane, back in the days when I was home all the time and unhappy with the arrangement. Days when work or school is dragging, and the things I have to do are less interesting and feeling repetitive, I think of being home, of just cleaning the house (!!!) and reading a book, perahps going for a walk around town to pick up some groceries - and it seems so blissful.

Inevitably, however, when I have more than say, 3 days, of said "bliss," I start to feel lost. Like I have no center, and I am just wandering aimlessly. I *don't* clean, and I *don't* read ... I sort of do nothing, and then feel guilty that I've wasted a day.

Today, however, is not Day 4. It is Day 1. It feels like bliss. I have done 4 loads of laundry; I've cleaned the kitchen, I've straightened the living room, I've brushed the cat, I've gone for a walk to get coffee, AND I went back to bed after the girls left, and didn't get back OUT of bed until noon.

Oh yes, you read that right -- NOON. I don't feel guilty at all. Beloved and I watched the Oscars through to the end, and then stayed up for the news/weather (we got SNOW last night), and I was tired. So there.

I don't think that come Thursday, I'll feel useless. I have a "family breakfast" for E.'s class that day at 7:30, and then have to be back at the school by 2 in order to help out with play stuff. I will be there probably until 3:30 or so, and then I may bring my girls home with me, where we'll together cook dinner. I won't have time to wander aimlessly.

Friday morning also requires early arrival at school - this time for J's class. I will then go straight to the GYM, and then perhaps come home and try to enjoy my last day alone in the house by reading or doing one of the many other things on my list.

I know, though, that if I did take last week off as I'd originally planned, I would have been feeling adrift. No kids around, no school stuff to do (their school ... not mine). Blech. No thanks.

Labels: vacation

posted by Zuska @ 3:21 PM

1 Comments:

At Monday, February 26, 2007 10:21:00 PM, googiebaba said…

Good for you Zuska, you deserved a break.