I certainly have the growing pains that come with life in general -- kids getting older; careers moving forward; the end of school.

Besides those things, I am really so content right now.

This morning, I was looking for my summer slides; the brown leather Clarke's that I love, and was happy to remember as I donned my new [smaller size] brown capris and white t-shirt. While rifling through the floor of my closet, strewn with winter boots and shirts that fell off hangers, I came across a bag that holds 2 unfinished cross-stitch projects and one journal.

It used to hold more journals.

When I was married to the ex, and started these cross-stitch projects, I used the bag as a journal-hiding-spot.

I used to write in the journals often -- I wrote about my loneliness; I wrote about the lack of trust I had in my husband; I wrote about the loveless marriage I was stuck in.

Right now, this blog is pretty much my only journal. I have others. They're near my bed. Every now and then I pick one up and write goofy things, like "2nd year of law school; I'm busy; girls are great; Beloved is great ...." and then I put it back down, bc really, the old reason for journals - privately complaining about my misery - just doesn't exist anymore.

I also found myself looking around the other day at some of the tumultuous times that people in my community are going through - possible divorce; health issues; angst over different loves; etc., and I thought - wow. I'm okay right now. At so many points in my life, I had something going on - something hard. Right now .... not so much.

I thank Beloved for this, because I am very happy with him, and I love our life ... but I also thank myself. I am grateful that I got out of my unhappy situation. And that I found the things that make me happy. Things that make life peaceful. Things that give my kids a happy place to call home, and that can shape them into responsible, respectful and contributory people.

:)

Labels: family, life

posted by Zuska @ 8:44 PM

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