e. went to a friend's house the other night for a sleepover, and shared with me that her friend said some things to her that were hurtful, and that she does not believe were true. her friend told her that when they were in third grade (e.'s first year here), the friend over heard e.'s teacher say to another teacher that e. is a "crybaby."

i find this HUGELY hard to believe. teachers don't talk that way ... and this teacher was well aware that e. had just moved across the country and was having some adjustment issues. she would have said THAT, not that the child is a "crybaby."

her friend also told her something else which e. knows to be untrue, b/c it was about something e. did (or did not do).

e. has as a result of this begun to question her friendship with this person.

we have been talking today about other kids in her class/grade/school, and she keeps saying "she makes me feel uncomfortable" or "those girls have strange conversations." when pushed, she shared that the girls talk a lot about boys, and boyfriends, and some of them have boyfriends.

clearly, e. is not ready for this type of conversation. or friendship.

this is a good thing, right? because she's 10, and the LAST thing she needs is to be worried about boys in that way yet. she will likely be ready for that type of conversation in the next couple of years, but she is a little younger than most kids in her grade (sometimes only by 2 months, but sometimes by almost a year).

Is this going to make for a very uncomfortable year for her? it looks like perhaps.

but in the end, it's better for her to know her comfort levels, and to be secure enough in herself to enforce them, and not go along with what others are talking about. she may have one or two years of some more loneliness than she may have if she were willing to talk about who she wants to kiss .... but i'm glad she isn't.

j. may be a completely different story come her 5th (or even 4th) grade year.

posted by Zuska @ 3:10 PM

1 Comments:

At Sunday, November 12, 2006 9:45:00 PM, Butterflyfish said…

You've got a neat kiddo there.