i'm not home. i am, instead, home. i'm at my parents' house. it is very weird that i am here. tomorrow is the memorial service for my grandfather. i was NOT going to come. i did not want to come.

why? because 1) i felt trapped. i do not like feeling trapped. but more importantly, 2) because my mother does NOTHING without intertwining it with her religion. this service will be a complete parade of fundamentalism/born-again christianity.

my grandfather was raised Catholic. when he was married to my grandmother, he was very active in a Russian Orthodox Church (for like, 35 years). he was not a born again christian. but the service will include songs and preaching and hands waving in the air. nothing to do with my grandfather.

nothing.

which is why i feel trapped. my mother knows i resent these situations, and that i avoid them at all costs.

so i was going to try and find a way to get out of it. capitalize on E's stomach cramps this week and occasional diahrrea (i am SURE that's not how you spell it)? claim that the zipcar reservation (which was made for the purposes of a long weekend at a cabin in VERMONT!! HELLO!!) fell through in some way?

in the end. no. i came. i couldn't be dishonest, and i couldn't let my mother down.

so .... i'm here.

i drove for 3.5 hours, instead of 2.2.

and I almost thought I was getting a ticket!!

There's this stretch of I-84 in Connecticut, the one near where my parents live, that cops just LOVE. Between Hartford and Danbury (which is a long way). They hide. I've gotten 3 tickets on this stretch. It's super tricky between exits ..... 60 and 16 .... b/c the speed limit is ridiculously low. Like 45, then 50, then 55 ... then 45 again. WHY???? It's soooo hard to go that slow after going 75 from the MA line to Hartford. Why do I have to go HALF THAT the farther (south/west) I go??? (I am going south, but i'm traveling on 84 West).

So, I'm driving along, probably around exit 40, and I see a flashing blue light up ahead, and on the left shoulder. so i slam on the brake, and get myself down to 61 (it was a 55 zone), but I realize that my perception was off -- it wasn't a big "on top of the roof" blue light - it was a fancy "blue blinker set in the side view mirror" blue light. So I was a LOT closer to the cop than I thought I was. After I passed, he pulled into traffic.

SHIT! I really thought I was going to get a ticket. I can't afford a ticket. I'm running out of money.

So I decide to switch lanes. Get away from this cop. Oops. Can't. The car NEXT TO ME is flashing its lights at me, b/c I"m about to hit it.

I was talking to myself the whole time. "I'm gonna get a ticket. I'm about to get pulled over. i can't believe I'm getting pulled over. Am I getting pulled over? [swerve back into my own lane upon realizing that a lane change will result in an ACCIDENT!] Oh, NOW I'm going to get pulled over!!"

I had to stay in the left lane, going 62 in a 55, with a cop behind me, and a stupid red car next to me, traveling at the same speed, for like, a whole minute. or three.

Then the cop got off the left exit that we were coming up on.

I almost blew him a kiss.

I can't believe I didn't get pulled over!!!

posted by Zuska @ 11:59 PM

0 Comments: