parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Monday, February 05, 2007
    6 weird things.
    Lyco tagged us with this, and Beloved did his already (I agree with him that 5 would be better ... if I can think of a better 6th, I'll replace #2), and I'm feeling like a slacker. I could just say, "hey, there's nothing weird about me" and blow it off entirely, but that would be dishonest, and I have to pass the character and fitness part of the review of my bar app soon, so I should be sure to be an honest person.

    1) I hate the smell of 99% of dish soaps. "Hate" as in = they make me feel nauseous. Mostly it's the name brands, and I really think that it's the stuff that makes them be "antibacterial" because prior to 1996, I don't remember them smelling so bad. It's a residual smell-association with pregnancy induced 24-hour-a-day puking illness. It's especially bad on the citrus ones, but they're really all bad for me. Beloved and I, I think, have finally worked out the kinks on what I like and do not like for dish soap, since I (should) do most of the dishes, and he does all the grocery shopping. First he brought home lemon scented Joy, and I cried uncle when it was 1/2 gone. He next picked up some of the nice veggie-based Whole Foods brand lavender stuff. Then I said, "I like this brand's citrus better," and he glared daggers at me, because I already told him I couldn't STAND the citrus stuff. But when it's the right BRAND, I love it.

    And this all happened BEFORE he married me.

    2) I tend to talk about snots a lot.

    3) When I was pregnant with e., I went to an overlook on the Pacific Ocean. It was really beautiful, but it was also a sheer drop that ended in jagged rocks being pounded by giant waves. I didn't have my baby yet, but I feared with all of my being that when I did, she would fall off that cliff. I pictured it perfectly. This overlook was a "tourist spot" and I ended up going back, after she was born, with my parents, and then with my in-laws. I refused to let anyone else hold e., and I stayed well back from the edge. The fear remained. It actually STILL remains. Edges bother me with the kids. I am not personally afraid of falling - I am afraid of the girls falling. We recently went hiking with friends in Western, MA, and we were near an edge -- it was a ROCK that we were on, and the edge was, again, pretty sheer. I was sort of freakish about j. getting up close. She looked at me like I was a freak. My friend looked at me like I was a freak. I acknowledged that I was being a freak. And I tried very hard to let go of it, and let j. get within 10 feet of the edge. Then I said, "okay, time to go! come on!" and made us all leave.

    4) I dream about tidal waves and dangerous oceans a LOT. They started when I was pregnant with j. and at that point were primarily tidal waves. Huge, destructive tidal waves that destroyed the area from the immediate coast (of Northern California) at least for 5 miles inland. Sometimes I was on the beach itself, other times, I was well inland at an office complex while I knew the girls were in a hotel on the beach. Several times I was actually IN the water. I remember that the last pure tidal wave dream had me in the water with someone else (I don't remember who - but I think it was my ex), and the wave was coming, and I taught him how to survive -- which is obvious -- you wait until the wave is right on you, then dive under the water, and stay under for as long as you can, and hopefully until it passes. Then you're fine. (Yes, I know that's not true - but it is in my dreams.) While it appears that the mastering of survival in the midst of a giant tidal wave rid me of that specific type of wild ocean, others have remained. consistently. I'm usually in the water - either swimming or on a boat. I tend to like these dreams.

    5) The reason I like these dreams is because I am a storm nut. I absolutely LOVE storms. Of pretty much every kind. Blizzards, thunderstorms, hurricanes. I have never been in a tornado (obviously, since I'm still alive), and I will say that that particular type of storm does scare me more than the others. I have been through 3 hurricanes (in the years that I can remember), and spent one of them on a screen porch watching with fascination (I was probably 13), at the first part of another, I went to the water's edge, and enjoyed the phenomena of the water being SUCKED out of the bay (I was in Mobile, AL). I am always excited when a storm is forecast, and disappointed when it does not deliver. If there is thunder in the summer, I open the windows. The louder the booms, the happier I am. When I was in California, I would drive to the ocean when there were high sea warnings to witness the waves. (I'm not really sure this is so weird, but a lot of people hate storms, and move away from places that do have storms, so I'm calling it weird.)

    6) I have extremely limited memories of my childhood. There are snippets, and I can recall a scene here or there, but I do not have comprehensive memories. I have no idea what I spent my time doing as a child. This lack of recall is not associated with abuse or trauma. I think it is more related to the absolute mediocrity of my childhood and experiences. I grew up in a relatively rural area with no other children nearby. My parents were not very socially active and were perhaps slightly prone to the hermit lifestyle. We took a bus to and from school, and rarely had friends over.

    Beloved and I recently got together with another couple where the wife said she had excellent memories of her childhood, and the husband said he didn't. It seemed like his lack of recall was similar to mine. I thought perhaps I'm not so weird, I'm just another kind of person of which there are others. I recently, however, had another conversation with his wife who informed me that there are several reasons for his lack of memories -- his memories are blocked due to several negative circumstances all piled up on top of each other. I don't have that reason.

    Which means I'm just weird. And that's why I was able to write this post.

    I prefer not to tag people ... if you like memes, take this one. If not, well, duh.


    posted by Zuska @ 11:08 AM  
    • At Monday, February 05, 2007 12:31:00 PM, Blogger saramel said…

      I don't remember my childhood much either and I don't have any big childhood trauma, so you're not the only one. I probably would have trouble coming up with more than a couple dozen specific memories from before I was eleven; after that I remember more. We moved across the country when I was eleven, so maybe that has something to do with it, or maybe that was just the age that my brain fully matured or something. I don't know. But anyway, I'm not saying you're not wierd, you're just not unique. ;)

    • At Tuesday, February 06, 2007 6:56:00 AM, Blogger Zuska said…

      But what about the dreams? And the dish soap? Am I unique about those?

      Saramel -- welcome! I checked out your blog and will be following your journey to law school - best of luck!

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