parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Thursday, June 21, 2007
    My Big Indulgence
    Today was the second day in a row that I did not get up and exercise. I'm a loser. I didn't go yesterday, b/c it was the girls' last day of school, and I wanted to simply the morning. Beloved had made french toast and bacon, and they were excited, and so ... I didn't go.

    Today was supposed to be my first day swimming in the a.m. instead of running. My new bathing suit arrived, perfect for laps with no escaping boobies, the pool schedule was double checked, and then I pushed snooze one more time.

    This is a problem because it will be my first time at the adult open lap swim, and I'm nervous. The other day, I ran by the pool, and peeked inside to find out how crowded it was: very. I don't really feel like I'm good/in practice enough to feel comfortable swimming in a lane packed with people. I veer. I drift. So I was hoping to get there first. At the unlocking of the door, so that I could be the pace-setter, and people could be joining ME, rather than me joining them. I pushed snooze instead.

    Of course, there is no such concern with the reservoir. So there was absolutely no reason why I couldn't have gotten out bed and donned running clothes instead of swimming clothes.

    I pushed snooze again.

    THAT was not the big indulgence.

    Once I skipped out on exercise, and felt my uterus tightening forebodingly the entire way to BarBri, I thought, "this week sucks. I want a fucking bagel."

    I actually have wanted one every day that I've passed the bagel shop on the corner, but I resisted. Why? Because I have lost approx 30 pounds, in part, by cutting carb-rich foods from my day-to-day diet. I don't regularly eat sandwiches, or have rolls, or eat noodles, or rice. There are occasions that I will have such meals, for whatever reason, but a bagel has not been one of those occurrences. I probably haven't had a bagel in a year or something.

    Today (and yesterday, and the day before, and the day before) I wanted one. I wanted the yummy cream cheese, and I wanted the delicious onions and the toasty bread on the outside and the doughy bread on the inside.

    And I got me one.

    And it was NOT worth it. The onions looked fake, the cream cheese was messy, slimy, and sort of gross, and the bagel itself was second-rate at best.

    what's more - I got home at 2 p.m., after a train ride sprinkled with cherries and almonds for a snack, and I'm completely shaky. All jittery and weak-feeling. I'm never like this! Other than the bagel (which I also justified as replacing my morning smoothie, which Beloved won't be making for me anymore, I don't think, since the girls will be home in the a.m., and sleeping when I leave, and they were really the intended beneficiaries of the smoothies ..... I suppose (get this!) I could make my own smoothies. Huh), my routine was as per usual. Coffee in the a.m., fruit during class, home and eating around 2. I'm never shaky. Except today.

    I don't think that carbs are bad for everyone, but with my family history (Diabetes, Type 2 on top of heaviness) and my own personal reaction to pasta, rice and bread (bloating, gas pain, FARTS), I do believe they are not the best food choice for me.

    I'm glad that today's indulgence was a flop, rather than a moment of ecstasy creating the temptation of repetition.

    And tomorrow ... I *will* go running (the pool doesn't open early on Fridays). Sat/Sun, I will go to the pool, AND run, to make up for today and yesterday.

    Labels: ,

    posted by Zuska @ 2:10 PM  
    • At Thursday, June 21, 2007 4:49:00 PM, Blogger Lyco said…

      Best. Line. Ever. "this week sucks. I want a fucking bagel."

      And that's crazy that you are so sensitive to el carbos. I heart them dearly...

    • At Thursday, June 21, 2007 4:53:00 PM, Blogger Zuska said…

      Yeah, it is crazy. And my sis (5'10" and usually weighing in at 120, I think) lives off rice and pasta - no problems whatsoever. unfair genetic dice.

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