parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Friday, June 29, 2007
    Fakin' it
    I packed my bag this a.m., including pencils, BarBri i.d. (which was never checked ... of course), cashews, money. Everything I needed.

    I walked down the sidewalk, listening to Crim now, since I haven't really reviewed it in a while. I turned right, up the path. I saw a train go by, and thought "oh, that's okay, I have plenty of time." Then I thought about my Scan Tron form, and how I know I didn't put it in my bag. Shit. Where is it, then? Oh, I remember, I stuck it in my ....... book. The book I'm supposed to bring today for the practice test. The book that I can't participate without. Yeah. It's home.

    I only killed 15 minutes. I thought I needed those 15 minutes for my coffee, and I was quite upset to think that now I'd have to be late, since I wasn't about to give up my coffee.

    Fortunately, Boston seems to have upped its train frequency in the past few months. Either that, or lots of Bostonians lost their jobs. Or something. Because the trains have just not been as crowded or as unreliable as they were last summer, or this past winter, or any other time that I've been a part of the commuting herds.

    I arrived at the destination station in plenty of time to get coffee. I ran into a classmate who was wandering a little confusedly, like me, and wanting me to search for the testing center with her. No, I can't. I am going for COFFEE. Leave me alone!

    Then I called my friend who had worked in the area, and said, "Um, I'm sort of lost, but not really, b/c I'm walking toward Starbucks, and that's all I really care about right now." She said, "Zuska, you're a dork, I'll meet you at Starbucks."

    I saw her coming down the sidewalk. She was laughing and shaking her head. Even though we'd hung up seven minutes ago. Yes, she was still laughing at ME.

    And oh, the test. Yeah. Right. That's what I was there for.

    At approximately 11:20, my head started spinning. In that post-essay-writing-I-need-a-break kind of way - where it's hard to focus and such. But I soldiered on (what the hell else was I going to do?) and it passed. I ended the morning feeling okay. I didn't feel like I was failing miserably (HA!), and I thought that despite the 10 minute blip of foggy-headedness, my endurance was ok.

    We had a hard time finding lunch. Apparently, this part of town is up-and-coming, but they're not quite there yet. At least not there enough to handle the demands of 1,000s of bar-exam-practicers. We ended up eating slices of pizza on our way back to the testing center. We arrived to find that some rude-heads had taken our seats. Jerks.

    The afternoon started with me thinking, "shit, these are harder." I didn't get foggy-headed at all, but I got super bored at approximately 3 p.m. With 50 questions left to answer. So I went and peed.

    Turns out, in the morning, when I thought I was doing great, I did worse than in the afternoon, when I felt like the questions were oh-so-hard. Go figure.

    All in all, I think it was a fantastic experience. Oddly, this is not sarcasm. We had the benefit of doing our practice exam in the place where the real exam will be, and I think that fact alone was hugely beneficial. I know how to get there. I know where Starbucks is. I know I need to pack a lunch (I already placed my order with Beloved). I also know how it will feel on Day 1 with 200 multiple choice Q's (not so bad), and I know I can sit through it.

    I also know that I need to improve dramatically if I'm going to pass, but that according to BarBri stats, it's well within my grasp. I also think I'm going into the wrong field. I freaking rocked crim law. Real Property? the subject we just learned this past with with the world's most annoying lecturer who Lyco and I want to stab with a fork -- man, did I tank. Second worst - Contracts. I know "they" say it's the hardest, but I feel like I understand Contracts. Why do I suck at them? I do not know. Torts is my second best.

    I have never before in my life been in a situation where I'm honestly content with 57%.

    This is my justification for my happiness with my obvious ignorance and lack of testing skills: If I was within passing range now, a month before the exam, I would spend the next month reading novels and playing goofy computer games. I am a girl who needs some flames lapping at my ass in order to do what needs to be done.

    57% is a red-hot flame. (The MA goal is 65%, I want to be at 75% so that I don't feel like one essay blown, or one multiple choice question messed up will mean failure.)

    But it's not a blue flame. If I had like, say, 35% ... I may be dying right now.

    Also, for anyone who cares, I'm pretty sure I'll have my period during the real bar exam.

    In MA, we're not allowed to bring anything to the test that does not fit in a clear ziploc bag, I think the Gallon size. They want to be sure we're not sneaking crib sheets in. Most women are thereby forced to bring their monthly supplies to the testing center while practically screaming I AM BLEEDING TODAY. I, however, am not one of those women. I am able to have my monthly disposals without broadcasting it to the world (ha ha ha! I just wrote it on my blog! I crack myself up.) I highly highly highly recommend this monthly method to all women of the world. Women who have been forced to go up to the perhaps not so close friend and say, "do you happen to have a tampon?" Also, for anyone who may be having a visit from that distant relative in July, and doesn't want the world to know. Or at least thousands of your future colleagues.

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    posted by Zuska @ 7:55 PM  
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