I have no idea how much I'm looking for negatives and how much I'm right.

I think that X forgot J's bday (which is today!!). He always tells me when he puts something in the mail for the girls, and he didn't. We spoke earlier in the week about financials, and the birthday didn't come up. Nothing has come in the mail for her, except from his mom.

I told Beloved last night that I was wondering if I should call X and let him know - call you daughter tonight. I just think that if it was E who he was close to forgetting about, she'd be on the phone herself bitching him out, b/c she's been so bitter (which really is hurt from feeling neglected and ignored) about him lately. But J has such a sunny disposition about people. She knows that E is so angry and full of spite toward X, and she sort of just shrugs and says, "but I like Daddy." I will be so sad for her if he doesn't call or do anything for her bday, and she ends her day upset (if she even notices).

Beloved says I shouldn't call him, b/c I'm not his mother. Yet, it's not his mother I'm interested in being it - it's J's.

Like I say, though. For all I know, he'll be calling later and saying, "your gift is in the mail." It's just so hard to imagine, I guess. That your daughter's birthday is nothing but a phone call and a promise. No trips into downtown for dessert items; no rushing around to get trinkets to pass out to her friends in the classroom,* no bday invitation-making parties, no waking her up with tickles and songs and cuddles.

* Yeah, we used to hand out cupcakes. But then allergies became so damned widespread, and the ingredients just can't be monitored, and so - no baked goods allowed. Kids hand out pencils, and little animals, and hi-bounce balls ... stuff like that. We got glitter-covered pencils and fancy little eraser tops to put on top of them. She'll hand them out at the end of the day, and her teacher will pull her ear (??) and she will be happy.

Update: I decided that if his mom called before he did, I would call him - just because I had a lot going on with my parents in town, and E coming home early with a friend, and errands to run - but X called on his own, with no prompting, around 6 p.m. He told J that he'll give her a gift when she arrives at his house for the summer (in July). I'm glad I didn't end up calling him to remind him, b/c he did not forget, and I'd rather we (mostly E and I, b/c E was so sure he'd forget, and she was really due to be wrong in this sort of thing with X) know that he called on his own, rather than me just thinking "yeah, right" when he said, "oh, I was gonna call."

Labels: birthdays, ex-relations

posted by Zuska @ 10:58 AM

1 Comments:

At Friday, May 25, 2007 7:04:00 AM, Unknown said…

I hope you called him--it is what would be best for your daughter, right?