And I feel sick. Doesn't it figure? The sore throat hit at approximately 9:30 last night, as I was making muffins for J.'s family breakfast this morning. I muddled through the evening, and Beloved and I had some fun (yee ha!), but I woke up with pain in my throat several times in the night, and now my nose is stuffed up and I'm achy -- in my head and muscles.

not to mention, I have cramps. Of the menstrual variety.

I'm also rather beastly today - grumpy doesn't even begin to describe my attitude.

I feel bad because I made E. go to an extra-curricular thing she does in the morning - it's math-based, and she's done it all year. It starts at 7:30 (school starts at 8), which is the same time J.'s family breakfast started. E. really wanted to come to the breakfast, and I told her no - that she had a commitment to honor, and that she didn't need to be at the breakfast.

Then, at the breakfast, several of her friends were there (siblings of other kids in J.'s class) and were asking for her. At least one of them, I know, skipped the same extra curricular activity to be at the breakfast.

I felt like an ogre.

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I was going to go to school today. I still haven't bought my books, because I still haven't solidified my schedule. So I was going to go to the library and look at the reserve copies to read my first assignments for Monday and Tuesday.

But now I don't feel good.

And these cramps ... I sort of wasn't prepared for that - and needed to go home.

It's also disgusting outside, and I was not about to go home, and then go back out. It's freezing cold and rainy. I didn't bring gloves, because it was supposed to be near 40, but the hand that was holding the umbrella fell off on the way home from frostbite.

So I'm home. And still grouchy.

I'll do the reading (or skimming) before class on Monday -- my first one is at noon. So I'll have time.

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An example of my grouchiness:

At the girls' school's auction last month, Beloved and I won a quilt made by J's class. We were bidding against at least one other parent in the class, but we won ($180 later). It is a beautiful quilt - they did a fantastic job. Each kid made a square, and then the teacher and a very talented mom sewed it together - the colors are vibrant, and it's really well made.

Earlier this week, J's teacher e-mailed Beloved and asked him if he could bring the item to the classroom for the breakfast so other families could see it, and so the room parent could take some photos so everyone could have a copy. He happily complied.

While we were there, a room parent (who I know and like!) approached me and said she forgot her camera. She asked that I let the quilt stay in the classroom all day, and then she'd bring her camera in the afternoon and take a picture at pick-up, and then J. could just bring it home with her.

I was so irritated.

I didn't want to leave my $180 quilt in the classroom all day. This was stupid of me. The thing hung in the classroom for at least a week before it was brought to the auction - what did I think the kids were going to do? Have a paintball game in the middle of the day? Have a sudden Norovirus outbreak, and projectile vomit all over the thing? I mean, really.
I didn't want my $180 quilt stuffed in J's backpack. She has like, markers and stuff. They could leak on it. She has knitting needles. They could poke a hole through it. She's prone to dropping and losing things. This was not stupid of me. However - I am picking J. and a friend up today, and so I told this person - "okay, but I will meet you in the classroom at 2, and I will bring it home then" But I was still irritated, because ...
I am bringing J and a friend home today right after school for a play date. If I have to wait for this person to get to the classroom, and then to take pictures, and then for polite chit-chat, then I'm never going to get home, and the girls don't have that much time together and I DO NOT FEEL GOOD!!!

Really, this was all stupid of me. It's not like me. I am a nice person. I love to help out, and I love to accommodate others. I like this woman - she is a kind, helpful, giving, unselfish person. I just hope she couldn't detect my crabbiness ... but I think she probably could. I didn't feel good, and I was 1/2 asleep, and my smiley face had somehow been left at home.

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Beloved and I decided to go out to breakfast after we left the breakfast. We decided it before we ate in the classroom and therefore did not eat in the classroom. We were 2/3s of the way to his work, and he was going to have over an hour to kill, and when he suggested we go and find some eggs (as opposed to bagels dumped out of a bag and about 700 other types of starch), I was game. It also meant coffee that didn't come from a box.

We went to a local Turkish restaurant which is really very yummy and serves breakfast all day. We know someone who is Turkish who ate there when in town, and she said it is absolutely authentic, and very good. Now I like it even better.

Yet, eggs are eggs. I got a cheese and onion omelet, and it was great. But just after I ate 1/2, all my food felt like a rock in my stomach (because have I mentioned? I don't feel good!) That was when Beloved and I discussed the day and he convinced me that me, my mopy-ness and grumpy-ness were better off at home than at school.

I didn't drink my coffee, either. Wanna know why? I ruined it. Since January, I've been on a "healthy eating" kick, and one aspect of that is a major cutback on sugar - including in coffee. I went from drinking peppermint mochas (god, the amount of calories in those things!) to plain old lattes with no syrups or sugars of any kind. Sometimes I drink regular drip coffee - again, with no sugar. I'm also absolutely opposed to fake sugar. I'd rather the calories than cancer, thankyouverymuch.

For some reason, this morning, I got my coffee, and went looking for sugar. Out of an old habit, I guess ... which is weird, because I thought the habit was gone. I suppose this is the first time I've sat at a table in a restaurant with a cup of coffee since I stopped using sugar ....

I found some sugar, and poured it in -- really poured it in. As I was watching the white stream I thought, "huh, that's a lot of sugar - CRAP!" I tried to drink it, but I couldn't. It was too sweet. It didn't even taste like coffee to me.

I see this as a victory. As a permanent change to a healthier Zuska. I am no longer depriving myself by not having sugar in my coffee. It is now just the way I like it.

After we left the breakfast place, I went to the bank to deposit my child support check, and then I went to Starbucks and got me my no-sugar-added latte. Mmmm.

Labels: health, kids, vacation, weather

posted by Zuska @ 9:44 AM

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