Yesterday, he came by with his wife to pick up the girls. They were very civil, and she was warm and talkative, and Beloved was here, and there was little to no tension.

Today, he came by himself. Beloved was in the shower. These were the things he said that he wouldn't say yesterday with an audience:

Geez, that cat is getting fat!! Why is he so fat? I can't believe how fat he is. [my cat is NOT fat]
What are those pictures? Chickens? Why? [with a snide tone]
"Potatoes would go great with that"? what the hell is that? Some kind of Atkins joke? [it's a sign we have on our fridge, which we all love]

Like he now had the freedom to look around and actually be himself with me - the self he's always been - snide, critical and condescending. Of course, none of these things were all that egregious. No major hits against me or mine. It was just funny because he didn't do it yesterday - when there were others around. Yesterday he was civil, formal and decent.

The girls were grouchy and sullen when he came - he had called to ask me if they had ice skates, but they'd outgrown their ice skates, and since all the places we go rent skates, I didn't buy new this year. Also, it's been so damned warm until very recently, ice skating isn't something we've done yet this year. But the girls heard me on the phone, and asked - and I told them that he may be taking her ice skating. When he got here, they asked, and he said no, b/c they don't have ice skates.

J. wouldn't collect her gloves and hat and was being quite uncooperative. He said to her, "that's okay, j., you can just stay here." and then looked at me in shock, saying, "That's a risky thing to say, she may just take me up on it."

He's right.

posted by Zuska @ 11:33 AM

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