i never go. i'm always healthy, and if i am unhealthy enough to go to the doctor, i'm often able to convince myself that i am now getting BETTER, and do not need to go.

in my first year of law school, i got really sick. it was a flu-like sickness, where i was feverish and on a couple of days, almost fell over when i was trying to walk across my living room, b/c i was dizzy. it continued for DAYS, and i also had a horrid sore throat that felt like it must be bleeding. i thought perhaps i had strep, and so i went to the doctor. i was so miserable, and i really just never get sick. Plus, i was in my first year of law school, and i needed to get better.

the doctor yelled at me. she told me i had a COLD, and that i did NOT have strep, and that i was FINE, and she was NOT giving me antibiotics. as if i was trolling for them. they give me yeast infections, i don't want them! i just wanted to get better.

so now that i have this *other* appointment to go to today, i'm getting ready to get yelled at. i think she's going to tell me that i'm wasting her time. that everyone has soreness at different points in their cycle, and that there is NOTHING wrong with me, and that i should just go home.

i have to find a way to tell her - look! you are not dealing with an undergrad student who just did a report on breast cancer and wanted a doctor's note to get out of taking a math test.

b/c that is how people at school doctor's offices treat their patients.

once, when i was married to the ex, he got kind of sick, but he was also have some prolonged breathing issues. almost asthmatic, and he'd had athsma (i'm trying all different spellings) as a kid, but outgrew it, but we lived in a rented house that was prone to mold in the bay area, and we wondered if perhaps it had come back. he finished his papers one winter, and then went to the doctor. the UNDERGRADS were still in school and taking exams. the doctor looked at him, listened to his chest for 2 seconds and told him that he was fine, and all his symptoms were from "stress."

we laughed about that for a long time.

i wonder if i'll be told that my booby hurts b/c i'm stressed?

i am stressed. i have an argument on Friday that i'm not ready for, and b/c i'm STRESSED about the doctor yelling at me for wasting her time, i'm blogging for 30 minutes before the appointment instead of working on my damned brief.

posted by Zuska @ 11:53 AM

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