this is how i feel. our apartment feels so small to me lately. i wish i could just turn it off, the feeling, and find a way to be content for the next 1.5 years, but i'm not seeing it. 1.5 years? of e. whining to me that her sister is annoying, and j. complaining that her sister is boring as she is getting older, and us not having enough storage so that the box with the old computer monitor in it is serving as an ENDTABLE in our living room, b/c we don't really want to throw it away, as it's nice to have a back up ...

and i don't have anywhere to display pumpkins b/c we have no porch, and we don't even get trick-or-treaters, b/c we have a locked lobby and i'm sick of shared laundry and crappy dryers that i have no control over.

today i found an apartment for rent. it's 3 bedrooms plus a study (or 4th bedroom), it has a washer and dryer in the unit, it's a 3 family house, and there's a porch, it's on one of my favorite streets in town (a side street, we live on a main road which is used as the emergency vehicle highway), it is literally across the street from the girls' school's playground, and it's a pretty building.

And? get this ... it's only $65 more a month than what we're paying right now.

Right now, for our 2 bedroom apartment. With no PRETENSE of a study.

There are, of course, several reasons why it can't/won't work:

We are in the beginning part of a one-year lease;
We cannot afford to hire movers, and I REFUSE to do it myself again;
It's the 3rd floor of a 3 family, and a) beloved would freak; and b) Chessie wouldn't be able to go outside; which leads to
It doesn't explicitly say that cats are allowed;
We currently have heat and hot water included in our rent, and this place does NOT, so it's going to cost more per month, and in the winter, perhaps a LOT more per month;
If we ended up having to pay 2 rents, b/c of the lease that we would ave to break, that would really suck, and it would suck SO BAD, that we probably wouldn't be able to swing our trip to Europe after the bar.

I really think that even if I were to win the lottery (seriously, I was considering going for a walk to buy some tickets RIGHT NOW), due to the cat issues and the third floor issue ... it still wouldn't work out.

Ho hum.

I must find a way to be more content. I really don't know how. Does anyone have any hints? {beloved, you are exempt from answering that question}

posted by Zuska @ 10:44 AM

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