Should this be a 3L question? Am I, in classic Zuska-style, Freaking Out Prematurely?

I received in the mail today a rejection letter from what I thought was my best-chance call back interview. One I thought went well. I knew it was coming, and I am thinking that more are behind it.

There are several potential reasons that the Interview Process did not go well for me. One is that I'm old, and I have kids, and I am not as "mold-able" or as "available" as your class summer/first year associate is. Another is that I went to a mediocre (at best) undergrad institution, and a Not Top Twenty Law School. Another is that I do not present as the "Corporate Type." Another is that I have a shitty personality, and interviewers hate me. Another is that I am not a size 4 with "post her picture on the welcome page" beauty.

I am going to pick the ones I find most likely: I do not present as the "Corporate Type," (i.e., I'm a wee bit of a hippy-type), and I am not as "available" as many firms would like their starting out people to be. Oh, and I do think that the institutional strength had a solid role there.

Regardless of the reason(s), I do not think that I will be a "summer associate" this coming summer. That is the way it is looking. I do not feel very upset. I do not feel like a failure. There is a certain element of rejection -- they picked other people, and they did not pick Me. But I know the people they picked, and I know that my grades (oh, excuse me .... Evaluations) are a bit stronger than the Picked, and I know that I have more life experience than the Picked, and I know that I have less focused Corporate Drive than the Picked. Oh yeah - and they're at the same law school as me.

So I do find very little to beat myself up about.

But now I feel like I need to start thinking a bit more about my post-law-school goals. And that's not easy.

There is a lot out there that interests me, in many different fields. Yet I can't help but to stress over the fact that I can't AFFORD to take a selfless community servant position. I didn't just leave a $45K/year job (as a stupid legal assistant) to then spend $150K on law school, to then come out making $28K/year!!

In 10 years .... um, Thing One will be a Sophomore in College, and Thing Two will be sending off her applications.

I have three more co-ops that I can use to explore different fields. To make more contacts. But I want to make plans NOW. Also, I feel like there isn't so much of a pipeline into the smaller firms, and the mid-level employment options. My school has a lot of major connections to public interests positions, but the mid-range stuff ... not so much. I suppose I've read somewhere that most law schools have this problem -- they cater to the larger firms in their marketing and on campus interviews -- but I would think that Progressive School Numero Uno would have a different game plan. But the Summer Associate program is given a LOT of attention. A LOT. Career Services did just send out a very nice (??!) email to all of us 2L's saying that they know that many of us did not get the interviews or offers we hoped for, and that we need to understand that the process is very arbitrary, and that there are so many more applicants than positions, but that we're all *really bright.*

That was so NICE. I think that will pay for at LEAST one year of my children's college.

I am very impatient. You would think I could outgrow such things.

posted by Zuska @ 8:41 PM

1 Comments:

At Saturday, October 22, 2005 11:54:00 AM, The Marpepps! said…

First: I'm so sorry you got a rejection letter. Our house is receiving them on daily basis (or was) and so I know how painful it can be.

Second: Northeastern is a really unique place and there are lots of firms (esp. in Boston) with a heavy Northeastern representation (I know, I researched them). You *will* find a job with a firm if that's what you want. It just may not be a soul-sucking superficial corporate bee hive. Is that so bad? Is it??

Third: I'm a GULC and tons of us are feeling the heat as well. I think it is too soon to freak out, and now (because Career Services is ridiculous no matter where you are) it's just kind of up to us to make some effort. There are so many firms that can't advertise at every school but are waiting to receive resumes.

I'm starting to send them out on Monday.