parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Monday, January 22, 2007
    This is how things would be, even if we were still married
    Some may remember that there was some conflict with me, my ex, and the girls over holiday travel plans. In the end, it worked out okay, and the arguments and disagreements were kept to a minimum. (Quick recap - he wanted the girls for a couple of days - I said yes before I talked to the girls - the girls were upset, didn't want to go - major negotiations had to be had and interference run b/t e. and the ex, the girls then begrudgingly agreed to travel, the ex then, weeks later, insisted I pay for the trip, which I refused to do, and eventually, due to finances and lack of time for too much travel, they did not go).

    When that trip was canceled, he said he would come here to visit them the weekend after New Years. He "forgot" and stayed in the south through that weekend. He said he wanted to come the next weekend, but his friends that he stays with were leaving town, so he couldn't. Now he's decided to come this coming weekend. Remember, to see the girls. Right?

    I will be honest - I was hoping for some kid-free time when he's here. I was hoping the girls could stay with his friends, too - they know them well, the friends have kids the girls know and like. I am wanting to go out with Beloved. I want to go to the movies. I would see 2, or 3, or 4 if I could. There are a lot of movies out that I haven't seen, and I want to.

    Hoping for, but not expecting. The lack of kid-free time is not the only reason for my complaining (again)

    But why would he drive 10 hours in one weekend to spend approximately 3 hours with the kids?

    Why wouldn't he WANT to spend more time with the kids?

    He is coming in "mid to late afternoon" on Saturday, and said he plans to take the girls "for a few hours, until dinner time" (so, from 3-6 ). And that he "hopes" he can see them for a quick visit on Sunday as well. Other times that he's come for the weekend (plays and such), he doesn't come to visit until noon or one on Sundays. Is setting an alarm such an inconvenience? I mean, come on!!

    I really don't get it.

    Just like I don't understand how he can go 2 weeks without calling them. Sometimes a month. When they are gone in the summertime, I have a twice weekly schedule that I follow - I call them on Mondays and Thursdays. Oftentimes, they call me for other reasons between those phone dates. Once I made the mistake of thinking that since e. called me on a Monday afternoon, and I spoke to both kids, I didn't need to call back that evening, and they called me upset that I blew off our phone date.

    Sometimes, when they're gone and we're following our phone schedule, we really just say "hi, how are you, I love you" and that's it. Other times, we talk for an hour.

    But I can't imagine not talking to them for 2 weeks.

    Also, I really really really wanted a chance to go to a movie, and not worry about the time and such. I'm still going to try and squeeze it in on Saturday afternoon, but it's a delicate dance. I have to try and make it happen around him, b/c if I let him know that I'm trying to do something, he'll purposefully be late coming to get the girls, or early dropping them off, just to thwart my plans. Because he will be indignant, thinking I am using him as a "babysitter."


    posted by Zuska @ 8:45 AM  
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