We had a great time. It was fast, but I think that was good - since this whole week is so damned fast. I can't believe that a week off has felt like 30 minutes. Unbelievable.

We went for a great hike this morning with all the kids. Both e. and one of the host-children were feeling less than perfect, but they both participated happily, and I think were better off from the fresh air and exercise.

I really missed Beloved last night. Not consciously -- but in my sleep. I dreamed odd dreams. I dreamed one of my usual "I'm going to miss my flight" dreams --- I had gotten onto the wrong train (a commuter train instead of my in-town train), and way over-shot the airport, and "Beloved" (it was HIM, although not in the body I know him as .... he was just different - I don't even remember the physical characteristics, almost as if I never saw them - but it was **him**) drove by and scooped me into a vehicle of some sort, and was going to take me to the airport. But we (of course) got lost. Then we drove into some water, but I hovered above it, b/c I didn't want to get my dress wet (I was going to a wedding). By the time I got to the airport, he had spent his entire day helping me out, and I said to him, "Doesn't your wife get irritated that you spend so much time helping me all the time?" and he said, "oh, sometimes she's irritated when she gets home from work and I'm not home, but she doesn't mind that I'm with you." and we hugged and I got on the plane.

I woke up after the dream missing him - and slept poorly for the rest of the night. e. was in my bed (it was too cold and drafty on the floor) - but she wasn't a bad bedmate. She stayed still, and didn't snore. I just was so unsettled without Beloved.

I was very happy to see him this evening ... since I missed him and all. But he's working a few extra days this week, due to the holidays, and he's nearing the end of a run. He's tired, and I think it made him grouchy. The dinner process saw snapping in different directions, and I got pouty over it (understatement). I told e. I was irritated with him, and then I went out to do something, and she told HIM what I said, but I didn't know that.

All I know is when I came back in, he cornered me in the hallway and gave me the Kiss of the Year. I just melted into a pool on the ground. I was mad when he approached me, and I just felt it melt away.

Not only was the kiss itself the most amazing feeling - but it was also an amazing feeling that he can still make me feel that way. And it was an amazing feeling taht he knew what the right solution was for that particular brand of poutiness. (Which was disappointment that things could end up snappish so quickly after I'd missed him and so looked forward to seeing him.)

It's now 11:50, and to say that "I'm bummed" over the fact that the kids aren't asleep, Beloved's exhausted and still has a grocery list to compose for me to go shopping with tomorrow, and everything combined means there's NO CHANCE for that hallway kiss to be repeated/continued/elaborated on ---- well, that's the second understatement of this post.

Damn.

Labels: beloved

posted by Zuska @ 11:40 PM

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