E. went to a literary event with some friends last night.* The book that they were celebrating and having signed is a popular one - which I'm well aware of. I knew the "doors opened" at 6:15 p.m., and therefore assumed my kid would be back on my doorstep by 8:30, perhaps 9, since it was in one of the many suburbs around our city.

Yeah. She got home at 12:10 a.m. I received hourly updates via telephone, so there was never a panicky moment - but it wasn't what I had planned on. There were approx. 650 kids waiting in line to have their books signed, I was told. Geez, you would think it was Harry Potter or something.

E. had a great time, but was really feeling it this a.m. She was so tired, she was in tears on the way to school. Quiet tears, but tears. i was feeling twinges of guilt for two reasons: 1) making her go to school; and 2) inflicting her exhaustion on the school professionals. But I could certainly NOT JUSTIFY keeping her home b/c she went to hoopla the night before. I mean, seriously. It was like a 10 year old's version of a rock concert. "oh, poor baby, the music was too loud? and you didn't stop dancing until 12:30? Well, I think you deserve a day off from school to nurse your aching head, I'm sure your teacher will understand."

yet, at the same time, elementary schools put the responsibility of ensuring our children's rest and good nutrition upon US, the parents. And I failed at that.

This year feels like a failure in general. She's missed days, she's come in late, she's been behind, I've forgotten to write notes to the teacher so that she could anticipate all of this - and it's all just because. Just becuase she wanted to be in this acting group that travels to other schools during school time. Just because we wanted to go to Disneyland for her birthday.

But if this were 4th grade, or 3rd grade, or 2nd grade ... this would have all been fine. This is the first year that it's NOT fine.

I assure you - all family trips next year will be taken during weeks off (for the kids). And I don't want her to do the same acting thing next year - but she is (thus far) really upset by that. She really wants to do it again, b/c it's her last year to be involved with it.

Sometimes being a mom is hard. And while I've been on an easy stretch, after the hardships of babies and toddlers, I have a feeling that the difficulty level is working its way up a steady incline.

*Update to say - there was a parent with them. No way was there a group of 10 year olds out at an event until midnight ALONE.

posted by Zuska @ 2:21 PM

2 Comments:

At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 5:46:00 PM, The Marpepps! said…

I suppose I won't disagree with you. The transition away from elementary school is tough, especially for a multi-talented, engaged, smart young woman. One one hand, this is a sign that you are doing it all right, on the other, no matter *what* you do, I these years are just tough. Sounds like it's going ok, and it hardly seems like a failure.
At Tuesday, October 17, 2006 7:43:00 PM, Zuska said…

I don't know, my smooth sailing has been like .... 3 years long. Of course we've had hiccups, but nothing like the basic lessons of toddlerhood -- nor, I fear, anything like the lessons (mine as much as theirs) about newly found independence and responsibilities.

Yikes.