parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Monday, September 18, 2006
    Just .... ugh
    this night SUCKS. all caps - yes!!

    Emz was a real grouch this morning. it was a hard start to the morning, but i was proud of myself for not losing my temper at her. she was on a short leash (one more time of grouching at me, and she was in bed at 8 p.m.), but i didn't snap, and she held it together enough to not tip things past the point of reconciliation.

    i had it in my mind all day - that she had been exhausted, super grouchy, and was likely going to have a rough evening.

    as if that ended up being the half of it.

    when beloved went to pick her up, her after-school teacher had to have a "chat" with him - her and her friends (4 others) were misbehaving during homework time. they were giggling, talking, and "not keeping their hands to themselves." You know what? They're not kindergartners. They just started 5th grade. What is UP with the "not keeping their hands to themselves" business?

    I was upset when I got the word, and said that the 8 p.m. bedtime had been realized. the child was unhappy with me.

    but then, i was ready to go through her homework with her (especially since she said the reason why they had acted up the way they did was because they were DONE with their homework). none of the items were complete. there was a note in her folder from her teaching looking for an older assignment that hadn't been handed in (although I know Emz did it) and one item Emz claimed to have finished, but then left at after-school. So she doesn't have it.

    Well, then i was pissed. don't tell me that you're goofing off with your friends because you're done with your homework - and THEN not have ANY of your 4 assignments complete! What the hell?

    THEN I found a story in her backpack. When I asked her when she wrote it - guess what the answer was? During homework time at after-school.

    her response to my righteous anger?
    • it's not my fault
    • i didn't have time
    • it's not fair
    • i have too much homework
    • they should have given us more of a transition - we had 1 thing of homework last year, and now we have 10, and they should have prepared us more
    • don't touch my things - you're contagious
    • my teacher didn't tell me where to hand it in
    • you didn't tell me that
    • it's not my fault
    • it's not fair
    righteous anger x 10.

    I ended up coming down pretty damned hard on her. her calling me "annoying" and telling me I'm not allowed to touch her things really was a problem in my mind. I have always had a pretty casual relationshpi with my kids, and have NOT had issues with them drawing appropriate lines. Sometimes they'll "joke" in a way that I think goes too far, and I'll call them on it. This was the first time that in an argument, the child was practically calling me names.

    And I came down pretty hard on her.

    She is living under the threat of having to quit newspaper, of having an 8:00 bedtime every night (as opposed to 9 or 9:30). She also had her mother explain (in a loud and harsh tone) about the inappropriateness of calling her maternal creator "annoying." She was told that as miserable as this night is, it will become the NORM if she ever speaks to me that way again.

    But now I'm exhausted!! Utterly exhausted.

    We did all have dinner together, and ended up laughing and joking at the table, and not lingering on the negative. She did NOT finish her homework by 8, but is in bed, and will have to wake early to finish.

    Sometimes, being a mom is HARD WORK.

    not sure I recommend it today.
    posted by Zuska @ 8:14 PM  
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