As i have said (again and again and again) - I am starting work on Monday. I need to fill out your usual forms upon my arrival. A W-4 and an I-9. They sent us a letter some time ago letting us know what we need to bring.

I cannot bring my passport, because it has my married last name on it, and I do not use that - I use my maiden name. So I need to do the "driver's license and a birth certificate" combination.

I have known for weeks that I need to track down my birth certificate. I've had a certified copy for years, but i never know exactly where it is.

In this house, we (I) have an 'everything shelf' and then an 'everything drawer.' when i growing up, my mom always had a "junk drawer" which would then grow into TWO junk drawers, and about annually, she would clean them out.

I thought that my birth certificate was in a basket on the everything shelf. a basket that i tend to put the important things in.

This morning, before bringing the girls to school, i decided i should check the basket, see if the certificate is there. i found the info for my Bose docking station. i found the set up disk for my computer. i found some children's Tylenol. I found a little baggy full of Halls cough drops. I did NOT find my birth certificate. Shit. I checked the everything drawer. No papers whatsoever - just junk (matches, barettes, incense, elastic bands, locks, walkie talkies, keys). Then I took the kids to school.

When I got home, I checked my "banking" box, and I checked my "school things" box, and i checked my "keepsakes box." I then went through the shelf on my end table. It had a lot of catalogs, books, and journals on it. No birth certificate.

Then i tried to retrace my steps. When did I last USE my birth certificate? I think it was when I signed up for work study. Or was it when I thought I would go get my driver's license? So I checked all my bags. Which were in the Bag Closet, which is also the girls' coat closet, and also the vacuum closet (we have 2) and the Giant Paper Goods storage closet (napkins, paper towels, and toilet paper from Costco that my parents keep us stocked up on). So, in order to get to the BAG part of the closet (I have lots of bags), I had to pull out the coats, the boots, the vacuums, the paper goods, etc. I found my bags. No birth certificate.

I went through all my folders from school from the fall. No birth certificate.

So I decided it was buried somewhere on the everything shelf. So what did I do? I yanked everything off of it. This shelf is like ..... 4' x 3' and 2' high. I had it PACKED with stuff. i mean, PACKED. There are curtains we bought at IKEA (while still in CA) but the red is too dark; school pictures from the girls preschool; the extra printer; construction paper; candle holders; maps; the kids' portable DVD player; extension cords; and tons of other assorted crap. I pulled it all out, and threw it onto the floor. I was going to go through it bit by bit, piece by piece, and I was going to FIND MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

I sat on the floor to go through it all, and saw the basket, the one i mentioned up there at the top as the first place i looked, and noticed a folded up piece of paper sticking out from under the disk. It was my birth certificate.

Who me? Have a Corporations take home exam to start and finish today? Pshaw.

posted by Zuska @ 8:54 AM

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