is tomorrow. i have an all-day orientation, then a tour of the firm, and then a reception. All told, it will be a 12+ hour day. Which I suppose is par for the course.

I am very excited to have this opportunity, and at the same time, disheartened by all I hear about the gazillion hours required (not necessarily as a Summer, more about if an permanent offer were to come). I have spoken to attorney-parents at the firm who say that it is not so bad - that with some early mornings and an at-home office, they are, in fact, able to be home for dinner with their families most nights. I need to find a way this summer to watch and see - not just listen to recruiting, and not allow myself to be seduced by the lavish treatment of summers.

And a part of me is sad. That it is highly possible that I *can't* do this. I have always made my time with my kids a priority. Whether it was working 4/5ths time as a paralegal and tightening the pursestrings accordingly, or abstaining on many law school activities (and extra-study time), THIS == this family == has been a priority. It's a different priority than what stay-at-home moms have made - b/c I work, and I work full time, and I want to continue to work full time. But I do not want to disappear. I want to have dinner with my family, preferably 7 nights a week, but I couldn't abide by less than 5.

Do I wish that the job wasn't so demanding? Do I wish that I didn't have these other pulls on my time? I'm not sure. In some ways, it does feel "unfair" that I potentially will have to turn my back on a really good opportunity b/c it fundamentally clashes with my family needs. So would the life of a rock star. Or any position that required tons of travel.

I hope I'm able to enjoy the summer for the summer, and not spend the whole time freaking out. but freaking out is what I do best. So, we'll see.

posted by Zuska @ 8:38 PM

1 Comments:

At Tuesday, May 30, 2006 8:50:00 AM, Anonymous said…

It's a summer position. Use it to feel things out and see whether you can make lots of hours work, keep your family happy and maintain some sanity. It can be done.

The real benefit to law school (including internships and summer employ) has nothing to do with the myriad of courses that you'll take. It is a good time to figure things out.

By the time that I graduated, I had a much clearer picture of what I wanted to do - and more importantly, what I didn't want to do.

So, soak it all up and enjoy! Your kids will manage for a summer, you'll have a nice notch on your resume and a lot of wisdom gained.

Good luck and let us know how it goes...