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| Thursday, August 04, 2005 |
| Premature [or not] stresses and dilemnas |
As many people have noted on various blawgs I read, it is time for the OCI bids and submissions. This is causing great anxiety for me, but I think in a different way than it does for most (but not all) others. Of course for everyone, the second summer is crucial to the long-term employment, and if it was independent of the law term decisions, i wouldn't be finding it stressful at all.
When I decided to come to law school, I was working for a sole practitioner in California. She came into work around 9:30 most days, and left between 5:30 and 6. She really never worked weekends. She had a thriving practice, had a steady flow of new clients and often had to turn some down. She did family law, with a niche carved out for alternative families. As much as her reputation as the "go to" girl for gay and lesbian couples helped, it was *not* the reason for her success. These clients mostly brought her some estate planning work and some second-parent (which then changed to Domestic Partner) adoptions, which provided some of her income, but not the most of it. Most of it came from divorces and custody battles.
I felt like I could be like her. I could have a law office where I took in the amount of work I wanted to, and have control over the amount of time I protected for my family.
I knew that I would not be able to go straight from law school to success as a sole practitioner, so I figured I would find a small to medium sized family law firm, get myself established, learn from experienced attorneys, and perhaps in 7-10 years, try my hand at hanging a shingle.
All of this came with the coinciding assumption that going to law school at age 32 with two small children who I would NOT push aside for the sake of my own pursuits would mean that I would perform at a mediocre level, at best.
However, that assumption seems to have fallen away. I did protect my time, I did put my kids first. I sometimes missed classes so I could go to family breakfasts, I did not work in the evenings, I did not go to TA sessions, I did not join a study group - not even during finals. And I never ever worked weekends. Except during finals, but I did ship my kids off for a "fun weekend with grandma and grandpa! woo hoo!" So they didn't feel pushed aside, they felt like they got treated.
But I did not do mediocre. I did well. Surprisingly well. And now I feel like my goals and my desires are changing along with an oddly transforming view of myself and my abilities and options. I don't really want to do just family law anymore. I want to tackle bigger things.
My my life and the stage I'm in does not really coincide with grand ambitions. And I feel stuck, and torn, and just in general B-A-D over it all.
I may have a chance at a big firm job here. Reputable big firm. But I don't see how I can take a job that requires me to be at work until 11 p.m. I have a supportive and wonderful partner who is more than willing to help out a LOT, but he can't be Mom. I can't be gone all the time.
i want to find Wonderful Flexible Reputable Big Firm, but I'm not sure it exists. It's not even that I'm not willing to put in hours - I *am* willing. I just want to be home for dinner. And I want to be home until my kids go to bed. I won't mind working weekends, really, b/c as the kids get older, they are going to more and more have their own things to do. But I want to work at HOME on the weekends ... at my pace. I don't want to be in a place where the game is to put in "face time."
I want to be able to go in at 7 a.m., and leave at 5, and be seen as the same as the person who goes in at 9 or so, and leaves at 7 or so. I want to be able to take files home with me, and work on them from 9 to 12 (at night, like I do now, in law school), and be seen as the same as the person who is in the office until 10 or 11.
But I'm not sure it's out there. Which saddens me. B/c I want to be able to work to my abilities.
I am meeting a professor of mine who did the trek from my Not-Top-25 law school to a Big Reputable Firm today, to discuss these issues. The firm she went to advertises on its website that it's "firm culture" includes a consideration of the "Balance Between Work and Family." I just know that starting out associates are not the people that such balancing benefits usually apply to. |
posted by Zuska @ 11:56 AM   |
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| 4 Comments: |
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Why does not doing family law mean having to work at a big firm? When you say you want to do more? In what way? Are you talking financially? With your brain - both? I have friends who do "important law" and who work decent hours because they have decided they were either going to be "finders" or "minders" but not "grinders".
I think you should do what has always worked for me, write down EVERYTHING you want in a job (hours, type of building, type of people, type of law, etc...)get as specific as you can make the list as long as you can (does you office have a window that opens?) I MEAN EVERYTHING. You'll be surprised how effective this is, you get a much clearer picture of what you want and start to make it happen for yourself. Get as specific as you can.
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I found my "balance between law and family" at a boutique firm where I am constantly using my brain, doing good (non-evil) work, and am supposed to leave at 5pm. They have a dial in connection and I've been able to work from home, especially when I have a long document to draft. I'm also handling my own cases, whereas most of my big firm friends, even after 4 or so years of practice, are still drafting a portion of an argument for a brief, or doing document review.
Of course, smaller firm means when the sh*t hits the fan, everyone has to pitch in and help clean it up, so I occassionally spend a weekend in the office, or a night at the office.
Its totally possible to find that brainy job that doesn't require 11 hours in the office per day. Only drawback is that I make about 1/2 of what my big firm friends do.
Just my two cents.
--Lynn
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Well, my conversation with my professor was very illuminating. she told me of stories of people similarly situated to myself who made everything work. big firm with decent hours and very juicy and challenging work. i am going to cast my net wide, go on any interview i may be so lucky to get, and see what happens. but after speaking to my professor, i do feel much better and much more relaxed.
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That must be a huge relief to you. Glad to hear it.
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Why does not doing family law mean having to work at a big firm? When you say you want to do more? In what way? Are you talking financially? With your brain - both? I have friends who do "important law" and who work decent hours because they have decided they were either going to be "finders" or "minders" but not "grinders".
I think you should do what has always worked for me, write down EVERYTHING you want in a job (hours, type of building, type of people, type of law, etc...)get as specific as you can make the list as long as you can (does you office have a window that opens?) I MEAN EVERYTHING. You'll be surprised how effective this is, you get a much clearer picture of what you want and start to make it happen for yourself. Get as specific as you can.