Thing Two and I started a mother/daughter bookgroup last night. There are 5 kids and their moms. For some reason, Thing Two thinks that boys are icky. Thing One does not, and has never thought that. She has, at many times during her social development (odd as it may have been for her), got along much BETTER with boys than with girls. But Thing Two says --- ewww. So there are 5 girls whose moms have decided this would be a fun thing to do with our younger children.

The girls are all in 2nd grade - some have already turned 8, some will turn 8 before they start 3rd grade (my girl will be 8 in May). they are also at (not-necessarily corresponding) varying reading levels. so while Thing Two was saying "Let's read Little Women!!!" others were saying, "uhhhhhhhh" Charlotte's Web-type books seem to be the top of the reading level.

Thing Two has a best friend. I was going to say a "best friend," b/c in these young grades that I am acquainted with (2nd and 4th), it's important to have a "best friend." I know that I started with that NONSENSE somewhere in middle school - 6th to 8th grade. and honestly, i'm sad that my kids are starting with it now. Thing One was on the phone with a friend in CA that she stayed close with, and I heard her say, 'my friend ____ already has a best friend, but she wants to stop being her best friend, and be my best friend instead, but she's scared to tell her other best friend." shit. that's what i HATE!!!! the label, the catty-ness, the (as i remember it) heart break and ostricization.

Thing Two's best friend is not in quotes b/c they haven't quite gotten to that labeling stage. they're on the verge ... but not quite. and Thing Two is comfortable with many many girls, and is a little more socially secure. her and this friend of hers just mesh really well. they have a great time together, and have a hard time doing anything other than laughing. but there was some difficulty in choosing potential invitees in that Thing Two's friend didn't want certain other girls to join the group b/c she's jealous of Thing Two's friendship with them. The friend's mom is the one who explained this thinking of The Friend to me. So perhaps I should put it in quotes.

I'm very excited about the group. we're planning on it lasting a long time (um, college graduation? since we're all CERTAIN our children would never choose a school far away from us, especially since we live in the Boston area, where they have practically hundreds of choices.

It's also nice, b/c I have felt "new" around here for about a year and a half, and this to me feels like a bit of an initiation. a first "belonging" into the parent-end of the social life of the town. it is a quite affluent town (judges, doctors, Harvard professors, etc., live here, and are the parents of the children that my kids go to school with. i feel like this weird baby-parent for 1) still being in school, and 2) being 33 to their 47+), and it results in a lot of stay-at-home moms. that makes it, in some ways, hard to break in. b/c i'm NOT a stay at home mom. but i'm not exactly a working mom, either.

Oh, the blessed work v. stay-at-home mom debate. i don't have the energy to even TRY to explain to those without children.

but i fall somewhere in the middle, as a student. I have the flexibility to be there for the things that really matter, but not be there for the daily 2 p.m. pick up. I can work out my schedule to do things like mother/daughter bookgroup - things like Game Night, and Together Time.

So - Thing One is jealous. She wants to do a book group, too. I told her to think up a list of friends - friends who LIKE to read, and friends who get along with each other. So, we'll be working on that, probably to START when we get home from California.

posted by Zuska @ 7:56 PM

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