parens binubus

more than you want to know about a law school graduate/bar examinee who is also raising two children and doing her best at being a partner to her love.

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  • Friday, July 14, 2006
    Completely Discombobulated
    I just feel "off" lately. This week, I went out after work every day except Monday, and today. I was soooo looking forward to coming home today, and just being home with Beloved, catching up with some blog posting, eating a home cooked meal ... and now, it's 9:39, and I'm restless. There's a flutter in my chest.

    I know what it is, and it seems pretty obvious. Well, I think I know what it is. I assume I know what it is.

    That it's the absence of Thing One and Thing Two. Thing Two had her oral surgery today. I spoke with her right before; with her Biological right after (she was too groggy to talk), and then again with her a couple hours later. She asked me then if she could call me again "later." Which seems like a silly question. She can ALWAYS call me - I have never limited them. But I think that their Biological might.

    So now I keep wondering if the phone will ring, if she'll call me. If so, I'm thrilled to talk to her ... if not, I feel sad that she doesn't need me today. Rejected.

    Then this restless feeling gets applied to everything. What if I don't get an offer this summer? What if that Corporations grade that has yet to come in was a big fat F? Will I have enough money this year? Will I ever own a house? What will it be like when Ex moves closer this year? Will the girls hate me because they have to share a bedroom for another 2 school years?

    I'm just all itchy on the inside. I don't like it.
    posted by Zuska @ 9:42 PM  
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