As I mentioned in recent days, The Things are in a play this weekend. And as I also mentioned, their father is going to be coming into town. I am so dreading this. I have not seen him in well over a year, and it’s been a nice year. Ever since we split up, he makes a comment about my appearance every time I see him. Whether it’s the length of my hair, the zit on my chin, or the weight I’ve gained, I can count on him to say something negative. I also am unclear on how all the logistics are going to work. Before beloved and I were cohabitating, I would let the Ex-Schlurg use my house to hang out with the kids, and I would just go hang out with Beloved at his place (which was right around the corner). Ex-Schlurg took GROSS advantage of this – leaving me his dishes to wash, allowing the Things to take out 6 games and throw the pieces around and leave it for me to deal with, etc. He will be in town early in the afternoon on Friday, and said he hopes to spend some time with the girls before they have to be at play practice. But … how? Where? His friends that he’s staying with live some distance away (not many miles, but Boston isn’t so easy to maneuver come rush hour) from the girls’ school where they must report prior to the play. They go to an after-school program on Fridays, and he doesn’t know where it is, and he SUCKS at finding places he hasn’t been before. I honestly can’t picture him FINDING them. I am working all day – although I plan to get off at 4 so I can get home and feed the Things before their call-time. I just can't envision how this will all come together.
Furthermore, my parents are coming in on Saturday, and bringing with them my brother and his new wife, neither of whom have seen my apartment. So I really need to find time to thoroughly clean the place – which isn’t too much of a struggle, except my bedroom. It’s a disaster. The rest requires a quick straighten and vacuum, but my room requires a bulldozer. And it’s not mine and beloved’s things – it’s MY things. He’s not as messy as I am. He puts things away when he’s done (and quite frankly, it drives me crazy). I leave things everywhere. I even *toss* things. I take an elastic out of my hair, and I just … toss it. Why do I do that? Do I *like* having to run around and pick up hair elastics off the floor? No, I do not. Do I *like* seeing my daughters just toss things onto the floor b/c they learned it from me? No, I do not. Do I *like* knowing I’m a hypocrite when I reprimand them for such slovenly behavior? Uh, no opinion on that one. Also – this is my official last week of co-op. and I need to leave early on Thursday and Friday, b/c the Things are in a play, and I am their mother, and I can’t not do the things that are required of me in order to make this happen. So I’ve donated next Monday and Tuesday to this organization, so that I can go out on a better note than rushing out the door an hour early frantic that the evening won’t go well, and that my ex-husband is going to drive me crazy.
I’m quite stressed over it all. Which means I’ll get a zit on my chin. Which means Ex-Schlurg will have more ammunition for his nasty comments. |
I have resolved to take of the kid gloves when it comes to my ex-schlurg. While I don't condone sinking to his level (as much as I may daydream about it), I've found that straight-up telling him he's out of line shuts him up when he starts in on the personal attacks.
I, for one, don't think there's anything wrong with asking him where he plans to take the kids before the play...and then listening while he tries to come up with a good answer that doesn't involve your living room.