The kid-part, that is.

So they left yesterday. It went pretty well. I told Beloved that I think I processed the whole situation before the day of their departure. I was sad all week, and then yesterday, it was just "alright, get on the plane! have a good time!" No tears (from anyone), no belaboring the point.

On our way home from the airport, Schlurg called. He wanted to 1) apologize for an overtly offensive comment he made on the phone the day before - although, apologize isn't exactly what he did - he just said he didn't MEAN for it to be offensive. and 2) tell me that he got married 2 weeks ago. He hadn't told the girls yet, but they are having a party today to celebrate with friends and with the girls. THAT was kind of weird. They went to Vegas.

I think that this announcement and party at the very start of the summer will help the girls. Last year, they arrived at his apartment right as he moved in, with his parents there, and all the adults working on decorating and painting, while telling the girls to go watch television - all day long. They aren't television people. They were miserable, and were calling me in tears that they wanted to come home.

So hopefully this will start this year on a positive note, and all will go well.

Beloved wondered aloud if this marriage would lead Schlurg and his Wife to have the girls call her Mom. They don't call Beloved "dad" - although they sometimes refer to him as such with me. They sometimes say they can't call him Dad b/c we're not married. However, it's been a very slow (deliberately on our part) transition - Beloved and the girls, and this being a "family." I wonder if all of our footwork, our deliberate care and ease of transition - will have done the work for Schlurg and Step-Mom?

I also wonder if having a "Mom" at Schlurg's house will make the girls feel more grounded and connected. If it will give them more security.

I also wonder how I feel about them calling someone else Mom? I would not stop them. If it is what they need, I would not take it from them. But, still. I think at the very least, my nose will wrinkle up at the sound of it.

posted by Zuska @ 10:14 AM

1 Comments:

At Monday, June 26, 2006 11:20:00 PM, Mieke said…

Why on earth would they call her mom? I love my step-mother (I got her when I was in 6th grade) but I never thought of her as a mother. She was my father's husband and my good friend.